Hi David,

Thanks so much for taking the time to listen! Your "nits" are always thoughtful, and have a valid reason behind them which you clearly explain, so nothing but gratitude from me, here.

The rhythmic pattern, I just wanted to create the impression of a waltz. So I deliberately shoe-horned the lyrics into a waltz rhythm. You may notice that the chorus is in 4/4 (which subdivides into eight notes, in duplet patterns), whilst the verses are in 12/8 (which also subdivides in eight notes, but in triplet patterns), deliberately so.

I have a feeling that all this would have worked much better if the solo parts had been instrumental, and not sung. Singing equals the need for lyrics, and perhaps it's that which doesn't work? If the same rhythm had been assigned to instrumental, wordless parts, it may have worked? i.e. it's not the rhythm in itself that is the problem, but the need for lyrics to fit it? Hmm!

Anyway! It's hard to write a proper song, lol. But I'll try and try smile haha! In the meantime, again, thanks so much for listening. You ALWAYS give me food for thought, which is exactly how it should be, and you're always honest, constructive and in-depth. No more anyone can ask for! smile

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