This is a great version...I really don't recall the original but that doesn't matter.

Sometimes backing away from the original take and re-imagining it is the key to unlocking it's potential.

I liked some of the advice Snyder gave you. Think of this as the starting point. Sit and ponder the possibilities that lay before you and polish this up but not to the point of excess. I like the simplicity you have in this. Work with that. Regarding the vocals, the range of most of this is too high for a close up and personal kind of thing. And use Melodyne. Nothing is really too far out but Melodyne could certainly help you tighten it up.

I think you're headed in the right direction this time.

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.