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#854452 06/14/25 11:46 AM
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A new song, literally just finished enough to hopefully be ready for sharing. See what you think?

I didn't like the balance on SoundCloud, so I decided to share a YouTube video of it, instead ... for some reason, to my strange ears, it sounds better on this latter website ... go figure smile

Thanks so much for listening, all comments of course welcome.


LYRICS:

I'm sorry I still love you ever so much
I'm sorry I still wish so for your touch,
I'm sorry, I'm a man, and we don't state
What we feel, out loud, it's just our trait ...

Our pain, we keep hidden inside,
By our fate we always try to abide,
But you, the only one I ever held dear,
Whether near, or far, all through these years

I can't help loving you
I can't help wanting you
I can't help missing you
I can't help wishing for you ...

***

In silence I dream of you,
In prayer I beg for you,

Just you ...

Just you ...

You.

THE SOLOIST AND BAND:

Soloist: Asterian II (Synth V Studio Pro)

****** Song Summary *************
Title: You - 14 June 2025
File:I'm Sorry - 14 June 2025.SGU
Key=C , Tempo 60, Length (m:s)=4:08
No intro. 58 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 58. Repeat x1 chorus
No Melody
No Soloist track.
Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0,
Song is saved with bar changes for Volume Changes,
Style is _ENLIVEN.STY (Enliven Piano Songwriter Ballad)

RealTracks in style: ~2482:Bass, Acoustic, Bowed Held Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 4901:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm SongwriterPopSlow8thsJohn Ev 60
RealTracks in style: 1842:Synth Pad, PopModernGrooveA-B Ev16 075
RealDrums in style:AmericanaRoots16th^01-a:Toms , b:Snare

*******************
Mixed in Mixcraft Pro Studio 10, with the Medium Hall reverb

musician17 #854470 06/14/25 04:09 PM
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James,

This is a very beautiful piece...

I love what you have done with the vocalist. The tone & vibrato is really outstanding. Such polish and presence.

Your mix is also excellent. It really gives the song fragility and depth.

I think this is just great!

Bob

musician17 #854590 06/16/25 07:50 AM
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James,

Piano sounds good. Nice mix.
Interesting voice...

fj.

musician17 #854612 06/16/25 04:15 PM
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James, a great piano, arrangement, and mix.
But I'm not sold on the vocal. For some reason it doesn't sound like a natural voice to me. I think it would have been better if you spoke or sang the lyrics. But that is just my opinion and others may not agree.


Doc-take it easy John this is just a sharp scalpel. It will not cut deep so don't worry.
Me-I'm not John
Doc-I know, I am!

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musician17 #854626 06/16/25 06:19 PM
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I like the John Jarvis piano in this. Re sound quality in SC and YT, I always upload wav files to SC, but MP3s with my videos to YT, initially as they load much quicker, but I've often found that the sound quality on my videos is better than on the SC posts and I think it's because YT process everything to HD.


Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
rsdean #854772 06/18/25 11:55 PM
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Thanks, Bob! So happy you liked what I tried to do!

floyd jane #854773 06/18/25 11:55 PM
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Thanks for stopping by to listen, Floyd!

musician17 #854818 Yesterday at 06:30 AM
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Beautiful!! Love those changes, and you chose the perfect vocalist, and fashioned it perfectly. The piano player sounds like he knows you. I saw you also kept the drums, but... then they came in for the solo. Outstanding production choice, James.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
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musician17 #854846 Yesterday at 09:57 AM
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Familiar and classic, but your vocals make me believe in your message. If I remixed this, I would either turn it to an old British R&B ballade (Van Morrison-Eric Burdon style), where your soulful singing fits. I would build the instrumentation adding bit by bit strings, horns and B3 Organ etc.. There's a lot of potential in your song.

musician17 #854874 Yesterday at 12:17 PM
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We much liked:
"I'm sorry, I'm a man, and we don't state
What we feel, out loud, it's just our trait ..."

Nice melody, progression and vocal arrangement.
And that piano is stellar fitting very nicely in the mix.

Nice one,

J&B

PS FIW we've not had any issues with high quality wav's and SC.


Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more.
If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks!
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musician17 #854875 Yesterday at 12:18 PM
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Some very unique chord changes.

This sounds very classical. Almost operatic in style regarding the vocals.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
musician17 #854918 Yesterday at 04:28 PM
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James, very pretty tune. Love the harmonic movement and thoughtful arrangement. Really nice mix, too. The vocalist was fine for demoing the song, but a human vocalist might best bring out the emotive feeling I think you're going for here. Cool stuff!


DC Ron
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Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
musician17 #854926 Yesterday at 05:08 PM
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Hi, James.

Nicely put together.

But... (you knew I was going to do this, right?)

I'm not a huge fan of archaic language, like "ever so much" and "so for your touch". I haven't ever run across anyone who speaks like that, so it just pulls me out of the story. But that's your choice to make for your song. smile

IMHO, the vocal is too lock-step with the rhythm, which makes it sound like the rhythm is driving the lyrics. That also gets in the way of the naturalness and the ability to feel the emotion.

The piano bridge - without a melody - didn't feel like it had direction, so that didn't work for me. Others will disagree. wink

OK, enough of how I'd like to have had you do the song.

An actual problem is that Asterian can't seem to sing "I can't help" correctly, since it comes out as "i can help", which isn't good for people hearing your song without the lyrics.

The simplest solution would be to change the word from "can't help" to "can telp", which is closer to how it's naturally sung anyway. Or just increase the duration of the /t/ in the phoneme editor.

Good to hear a new song from you! smile


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
musician17 #854931 Yesterday at 05:45 PM
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Hi James,

You have a good song here and well sung.

My only suggestions are:
1. A soloist instrument in the piano and drum section later in the song - there are heaps in BIAB that would go a treat with this song.
2. That same soloist could do some fills in the second and subsequent verses.
3. Bass - I kept waiting for a bass in the second verse.

Good work.

Best Regards
Nigel


Nigel Spiers
Christchurch, New Zealand
info@nzacoustics.com
MarioD #854978 21 hours ago
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Mario, I absolutely agree. I, too, think that it would have been better if I'd sung the solo part, myself. Unfortunately, I don't have access to my mic at the moment, so I just had to make Asterian sing it instead. But I will re-do the song as soon as the mic thing gets solved! Thanks so much for your very helpful and kind thoughts!

WaoBand #854979 21 hours ago
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Thanks for listening, WaoBand. Yes, maybe it's just me, but I was not sold on the SC sound, this time. It could be just me, though smile Again, thanks for stopping by smile

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