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Journeyman
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Journeyman
Joined: Mar 2025
Posts: 309 |
Soundcloud: Refine me Youtube: Refine me I wrote and did my first recording of this song back in May 2023 - but I wasn't quite happy with it - I have difficulty singing any note longer than a minim without going on vocal tangents, so I decided recently to give my 'vocal vulnerabilities' a few tweaks. The lesson here is you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear! Despite this, I enjoyed writing a song with long-held notes - which is abnormal for me. The idea for the song originated with the first line ... 'If I [mumble] [mumble] [mumble], refine me', so the rest of the verses became an exercise in finding words rhyming with 'remind' and overlaying these on melodic variations of the first line. Lastly, because the verses describe external intervention, it became natural to write a chorus recognising the person - an amalgam of a few. The guitar riff (if we call it that) gave some busyness to sit underneath the long notes in the chorus - something I realised a few years back - if one instrument/voice is busy, often another instrument/voice will be less so in order that each has their own space. The guitar riff (in part) reminds me of another song - see if anyone thinks the same as me. ****** BIAB Song Summary ************* Style is _MESSIN.STY (Messin Around Funky Blues) RealTracks in style: 2260:Bass, Electric, FunkyGroove60s Ev 100 RealTracks in style: 1998:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm JazzFunkGroovin Ev16 110 RealTracks in style: 3245:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm FunkyBluesSol ev16 090 RealDrums in style:BluesRockFunky16ths^2-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Busy Snare, Bouncy Kick Added my double-tracked acoustic guitar Mixed in Cakewalk ******************* LYRICSINTRO VERSE 1 If I go through hardships - refine me If I can’t remember - remind me When I get tangled up - unwind me It’s all it takes to make some noise, I cry for help, I have a choice VERSE 2 If I become broken - design me If I ask too much - decline me When I need something to do - assign me For goodness sakes, this case annoys, I feel compelled, I have a voice CHORUS It’s you… who keeps me going strong Helps me get along when the world is wrong It’s true… it’s just me and you Completes me and I know I belong to you And I hope I’m giving it back to you VERSE 3 If I go around the bend - align me If I’m getting out of control - confine me When I need protection - entwine me I get the shakes, I’m all at sea, my head goes under, come rescue me Sing CHORUS OUTRO It’s you… it’s you (repeat and fade)
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Joined: Apr 2015
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Apprentice
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Apprentice
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 261 |
Nice drive in your song! It remind me of those great pop songs of the late 1960s. Hit potential in this song.
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Joined: Aug 2024
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Journeyman
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Journeyman
Joined: Aug 2024
Posts: 525 |
Lyrically brilliant and that riff is super catchy. I agree with Brno. This has hit potential. I can imagine it covered by Gomez.
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Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 950
Expert
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Expert
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 950 |
One of those songs that could easily become an ear-worm. I reckon I'll be humming that riff all day now.
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Journeyman
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OP
Journeyman
Joined: Mar 2025
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Thank you Beth, Arri and Brian! I’m not imagining a hit, but glad you liked it. I’m just happy it crossed the ‘ear worm’ threshold! 🎶😳 Now I’m off to listen to Gomez!
Andrew D
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Hi, Andrew.
Nice work!
The guitar bit is cool, and the harmonies give the chorus some punch.
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Veteran
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Cool riff. Catchy 60s pop, which I am a big fan of. The background harmony is smartly done. Brilliant.
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Andrew, this is a pop song winner for sure
Great vocal and harmonies
Sounds straight out of the 1960s
I can hear The Association singing this one
Outstanding work
Whenever I get something stuck in the back of my throat, I dislodge it by drinking a beer.
It's called the Heineken Maneuver.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Journeyman
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Journeyman
Joined: Mar 2025
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Thank you David, Scott and Mario!
Regarding the harmonies, I have a mindset that my vocals are not only to enhance and lift the chorus, but also have a camouflage effect to cover any warts. Mario - your reference to The Association is humbling - they were very good at vocal layering weren’t they? ‘Never my love’ is a favourite.
I was very happy with the guitar riff when it dawned on me while noodling away - it started with the phrase in the intro and I developed it from there.
Thanks very much!
Andrew D
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Love it, Andrew. The whole idea of the song makes me smile and think you must be a fantastic rapper. I was a bit facecious on YT, but Soundcloud has better sound* so let me get serious. First, I like the Beatlish feel and sound of this. Vocal and harmonies are perrrfeeeect and demonstrate beyond a doubt that you can hold them even longer. Man, my favorite part of the music is that responding acoustic guitar. It brilliantly adds so much to whole thing, and elevates the catchy chorus with a memorable and happy feeling.
*or maybe sound is better without eyes
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Journeyman
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Journeyman
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Love it, Andrew. The whole idea of the song makes me smile and think you must be a fantastic rapper. I was a bit facecious on YT, but Soundcloud has better sound* so let me get serious. First, I like the Beatlish feel and sound of this. Vocal and harmonies are perrrfeeeect and demonstrate beyond a doubt that you can hold them even longer. Man, my favorite part of the music is that responding acoustic guitar. It brilliantly adds so much to whole thing, and elevates the catchy chorus with a memorable and happy feeling.
*or maybe sound is better without eyes Thanks Marty - for your comments and viewing both media. I’ll have to bite the bullet and take out a SC Pro subs at some point to avoid recycling my upload minutes. YT is a bit more universally accessible for potential listeners so I try and put an illustrative or supporting video to the music, but the visuals can sometimes detract from the music. I enjoy adding backing vocals as they had so much colour and depth, and you’ll note from my songs I am quite partial to ooos and ahhhs. For the guitar riff, the seed of the idea emerged early similar to that in the intro and I then developed it from there, and as mentioned before, the busyness of the riff is a good contrast to the long chorus notes. Thanks for listening! Andrew D
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Andrew,
Very nice! So musical and some really cool guitar parts. Vocals are great, as is the mix.
Much enjoyed!
Bob
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Expert
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Expert
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Great love song - I got a 60s vibe from it. You did well with the rhymes, plus I enjoyed the harmony vocals in the choruses.
Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
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Journeyman
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... So musical and some really cool guitar parts. Vocals are great, as is the mix. ... Thanks Bob - yeah pretty happy with the guitar riff. Thanks for your encouragement to me and so many others on the forum. Great love song - I got a 60s vibe from it. You did well with the rhymes, plus I enjoyed the harmony vocals in the choruses. Thanks Chay! I've had a few people comment on the 60s vibe, but it isn't something I set out to achieve specifically. What was it about it that made it sound 60s? Is it the guitar riff, the vocal harmonies, or the melody, or maybe even my accent? Andrew D
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Wow, that was outstanding! I loved everything about it! That rhyme scheme which I would call secondary rhyming (INE-me) is really a wonderful lyrical tool, and I like your choices of rhyming words…none of them were inane or forced, and they were perfectly matched to the thought of the phrase. Yeah, everything about this was really great!
Windows 11, Intel Core i5-8600T 2.3Ghz, 16 gig ram, BIAB 2025 MegaPak, SampleTank 4, Keystation49 Kybd, Neewer NW-800 mic
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Journeyman
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Journeyman
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Wow, that was outstanding! I loved everything about it! That rhyme scheme which I would call secondary rhyming (INE-me) is really a wonderful lyrical tool, and I like your choices of rhyming words…none of them were inane or forced, and they were perfectly matched to the thought of the phrase. Yeah, everything about this was really great! Thank you Tom! I am pretty happy with the rhymes as well. Andrew D
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Andrew, super write, and perfectly arranged. Love your vocals! You've got a real knack for these cool pop gems.
Yes, the main riff is very Joker-ish, but it takes some fun diversions, so...who cares?? Love your song!
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
StudioCat DAW dual screen
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Journeyman
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Journeyman
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… You've got a real knack for these cool pop gems.
Yes, the main riff is very Joker-ish, but it takes some fun diversions, so...who cares?? Love your song! Thanks Ron - well spotted re the riff. Halfway through writing the riff, I realised what/who I was channeling, but it has enough differences, as you say, so I decided to continue with it - thank goodness I did. Melody supported by harmonic/chord progressions is a fundamental interest to me and, while this song doesn’t show it, I tend to hold the view that lyrics are just a vehicle for the music - otherwise, choose poetry. Probably not 100% true but it reveals where my priorities lie. I really appreciate your observations because your own songs are the type that I love listening to. Andrew D
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