Hi, James.

Nicely put together.

But... (you knew I was going to do this, right?)

I'm not a huge fan of archaic language, like "ever so much" and "so for your touch". I haven't ever run across anyone who speaks like that, so it just pulls me out of the story. But that's your choice to make for your song. smile

IMHO, the vocal is too lock-step with the rhythm, which makes it sound like the rhythm is driving the lyrics. That also gets in the way of the naturalness and the ability to feel the emotion.

The piano bridge - without a melody - didn't feel like it had direction, so that didn't work for me. Others will disagree. wink

OK, enough of how I'd like to have had you do the song.

An actual problem is that Asterian can't seem to sing "I can't help" correctly, since it comes out as "i can help", which isn't good for people hearing your song without the lyrics.

The simplest solution would be to change the word from "can't help" to "can telp", which is closer to how it's naturally sung anyway. Or just increase the duration of the /t/ in the phoneme editor.

Good to hear a new song from you! smile

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?