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Thanx Janice and Bud. If I added all other of my "irritants" the song would be about 2 hours long, maybe even longer  Maybe a musical or a concept album might be the ideal outlet, Mario?  No, that would be something else for me to complain about 
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Hi, Mario. Ha! That was fun. Exactly as it says on the tin. The EW vocalists sound a bit like the vocals on Pink Floyd's "Not Now John". Thanx David. I had a lot of fun doing this one!
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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haha, fun stuff, Mario! Loved the BGVs, genius! Thanx Dave. This was the first time I really used those voices. I'm glad you liked it.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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HA, I had a grin on my face when I read the title. As I listened the guffaws kep[t getting louder until I was actually DOL (doubled over laughing). Sensational lyrics, man. What a fun mind you have, Mario. Marty, I'm so glad that you have a good laugh while listening. That was my main goal.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Journeyman
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Journeyman
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M: motivated
A: artist
R: resourceful
I: imaginative
O: observant
(wordfest warning)
In an era of grand narratives and poetic introspection, sometimes what we truely crave is the raw, unvarnished truth about why our lives are just a little bit worse for wear. Enter Mario, a musical maverick who understands that true artistry often lies in giving voice to the mundane yet maddening. His latest auditory catharsis, "A Grumpy Old Man," isn't just a song; it's a battle cry from the domestic front, a rallying anthem for anyone who's ever been gaslit by a snack manufacturer.
This isn't just music, it's a theatrical performance of pure, unadulterated exasperation. Mario, channeling the spirit of every disgruntled senior citizen shaking their fist at a cloud, unleashes a torrent of perfectly justified complaints, all soundtracked by...well, by this.
Now about the instrumentation. "Deviant Distorted chugging Grunge" drums courtesy of BiaB? It's the aural equivalent of a lawnmower refusing to start at 7 AM on a Sunday – utterly infuriating and yet, somehow, strangely appropriate. The MIDI choir provided by EastWest's Hollywood Backup Singers lends a bizarre, almost operatic gravitas to gripes about oddly-sized servings. Why, one might ask, would a choir of celestial voices, sounding as if they've just stepped off a Grammy stage, be serenading the infuriating enigma of fractional serving sizes or the perennial crime against snack-kind that is the half-full potato chip bag? Because it's hilarious, that's why! This utterly incongruous, yet utterly inspired, inclusion elevates the track from a mere rant into a vibrant, audacious piece of musical theatre. It's like the gods themselves have descended to witness the tragedy of the 2.5 serving can. Genius!
Mario doesn't just play the guitar and bass; he wields them like weapons of mass frustration, laying down a foundation of righteous indignation of a man who's spent a lifetime wrestling with packaging and losing. The sheer chutzpah of being the guitarist, bassist, and chief yeller is commendable. And his vocals? A masterclass in the art of the indignant yell, perfectly embodying the titular "Grumpy Old Man" with every strained, cathartic bellow. The vocals are perfection!
Lyrically, Mario's hit on the sweet spot of relatable annoyance. That half-empty bag of chips? We've all been there! The jar lids requiring the strength of a thousand suns? A universal conspiracy, I tell you! And plastic peanut butter? Don't even get me started! It's like Mario has tapped into the collective unconscious of anyone who's ever dared to purchase groceries. He doesn't just list pet peeves; he elevates them to sagas of consumer betrayal and ergonomic design failures by cutting through the marketing speak with the precision of a frustrated surgeon. These are grievances so specific, so universal, they could form the basis of a new philosophical school: Irritationism.
The "hold it for a second guys I'll be right back. Hey you kids get off of my lawn" interlude is pure, unadulterated comedic brilliance. It's so delightfully authentic, so perfectly timed, it almost feels improvised on the spot.
"A Grumpy Old Man" is more than just a musical outpouring; it's a testament to the fact that creativity isn't confined to grand statements. It thrives in the ingenious transformation of everyday frustrations into a hilarious, cathartic, and surprisingly profound piece of art. It's a genuine grin-inducer, proof that even when you're fuming, you can still craft something truely imaginative. So, next time we are wrestling with an uncooperative box or a deceptive serving size, remember :- 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒.....He's yelling for all of us.
This is a masterpiece Mario- your best yet
Izzy.
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Journeyman
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Finally somebody is writing a song about the real important issues! Thanks.Real punk rockers rules NY.
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Izzy, thanx so very much for you extremely kind review. I really appreciated your comments.
I'm so glad that you enjoyed my little rant.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Finally somebody is writing a song about the real important issues! Thanks.Real punk rockers rules NY. Thank you Arri for taking the time to listen and comment on my little song. I appreciate it.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Mario...as another grumpy old man I'm with you on this one....I used to be a strong firefighter but these jars these days...I think they're just trying to make us feel bad about ourselves in our old age!!...cool song that many of us can identify with.
www.soundclick.com/firesongBiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10 You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
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Mario...as another grumpy old man I'm with you on this one....I used to be a strong firefighter but these jars these days...I think they're just trying to make us feel bad about ourselves in our old age!!...cool song that many of us can identify with. Thanx Dan. If they are trying to make us feel bad about ourselves they are succeeding! I'm glad you liked it.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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LMAO! The first posting of geriatric rap on the forum. I love it.
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LMAO! The first posting of geriatric rap on the forum. I love it. Scott, "Geriatric Rap"! A new genre? Thanx for that and for listening and commenting. I appreciate it.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Mario, this is grunge genius! A similar theme to Neil Young's "Piece of Crap". Another verse could have been about "Score along the dotted line" as things tend to rip the wrong way or not at all. This song of yours is clearly made with the wholesome goodness of natural grunge with the sell by date of Never! Totally love this song! Also the harmony vocals was a great added touch.
Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
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Mario, this is grunge genius! A similar theme to Neil Young's "Piece of Crap". Another verse could have been about "Score along the dotted line" as things tend to rip the wrong way or not at all. This song of yours is clearly made with the wholesome goodness of natural grunge with the sell by date of Never! Totally love this song! Also the harmony vocals was a great added touch. Thanx Chay, I'm glad that you liked it. I'm going to have to check out that Neil Young song.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Mario,
Thank you for your sense of humor. If Mad magazine was still a thing, this could be a special edition plastic insert. You nailed it. I will say the volume came in kinda low compared to other tunes I've listened to today.
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Mario,
Thank you for your sense of humor. If Mad magazine was still a thing, this could be a special edition plastic insert. You nailed it. I will say the volume came in kinda low compared to other tunes I've listened to today. Thanx Beth. I used to get Mad magazine! It was hilarious. That volume issue is weird as I always normalize to -3 dB. I will be sure to check that out.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Hi Mario, I really enjoyed your song, I had a big smile on my face the whole time I was listening to it.
Maybe it's because I'm a grumpy old man, too, who's experienced all the things you were complaining about ;-)
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Hi Mario, I really enjoyed your song, I had a big smile on my face the whole time I was listening to it.
Maybe it's because I'm a grumpy old man, too, who's experienced all the things you were complaining about ;-) Thanx Bob. A lot of us old timers can relate to the song. I just wrote about my experiences.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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In the words of the famous Rodney Dangerfield..... " Hey, I resemble that comment!"
Very cool and well done. I found myself in way too many of those verses.
You need one of those Ron-co Cap-a-mattic fully adjustable to fit all size jar lids bottle openers. Oh yeah, and ask your favorite doctor for a prescription for the wonder pharmaceutical "Phuckital". It does wonders for your attitude. Use as directed.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac® users: Build 904 now available!
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