Andrew, I would highly recommend that you pick up a copy of a book by Bobby Owsinski. It's called The Mixing Engineer's Handbook.

It's an in-depth dive into the basic things you should know about mixing and a discussion on all of the tools and how to use them correctly and effectively. There's also a section full of interviews with the top award winning engineers in the music business.

A lot of your questions are answered in the book and I guarantee there's things in the book that you haven't even considered yet.

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.