Originally Posted by Guitarhacker
...That chorus is really powerful. I immediately thought about the song We Are The World. It's that kind of chorus. The verses are good, and support the chorus but the chorus is absolutely beautiful.

I guess the part I'm hearing is the Morse code guitar... I like the groove it's establishing. However it's a little bit too loud in the mix by a few dB and the vocal could stand to come up a few dB. It might just be that the vocals are not loud enough and when bumped up to sit on top, everything else might be in its place. Don't bury the vox in the music. This song is about the message in the words.

I found a few places where the phrasing was awkward that could benefit from a simple lyric revision to fit in the natural groove. Nothing to big that can't be fixed by a quick punch in/out at those places. ...

Thanks Herb - that is really useful feedback - I will revisit the levels of morse code guitar and vocals. Also re the phrasing - I noticed recently it is something I do - some of my songs have tricky phrasing, and given I don't have the most agile tongue, I can sometimes fall over myself, or have the emphasis on the wrong syllable making it sound un-natural. I think this is because I have a proclivity to demote the importance of lyrics compared to music. I'll definitely list this as re-record/remix project.

Originally Posted by RSDean
Great song. A very cool set of lyrics and an excellent vocal. I also really like your instrumentation here - a perfect fit. Another good one!
Thanks Bob. Within my limited skill set, I like coming up with interesting sounds for instruments - thus the 'morse code' guitars. Re the lyrics, I am passionate about young people being able to get into housing. Here in Australia, our successive governments have had all the 'policy levers' wrong where they incentivise via tax breaks investment in property and have done very little in terms of social and affordable housing. The contrast between verses and chorus is relevant because it is tantamount to saying to young people and others looking at home ownership 'Chin up!' It has a double meaning in that those of us in homes should have more empathy for those that don't. Thanks for your generous words, Bob!

Originally Posted by DC Ron
Andrew, you've got a great Bowie groove going on here. Like the strong stereo image supporting the vocals. Those organs(?) sounds are very cool, too. And a nice bit of songcraft as well. I don't find the theme dissonance a distraction whatsoever. That's just like, y'know? Nice one!
Thanks Ron! The organ I think you're referring to are my keys playing Sforzando flutes - I'm trying to replicate a mellotron sound (e.g. Strawberry Fields). The actual 'riff' played by the keys was inspired by The Jayhawks 'I'd run away' and in particular, keyboardist Karen Grotberg's playing in the chorus of that song. Thanks for listening!

Andrew

Regards,
Andrew D
Adelaide, Sth Aust
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