Hi Greg,

This sure is a very energetic performance! Impressive stuff. Musically, it's incredibly tight. I admire your ability

I didn't hear the earlier version but I like what you've done with this one: the driving beat, edgy sound is terrific: a perfect fit for the lyrics. I agree with Michee's comments that some of the lyrics seemed rushed. When this happens in my songs, it's usually because I've misplaced a syllable in a word (or single syllable word) and put a strong syllable on a weak musical beat. I'm not sure if this is why I couldn't understand some of your words but it might be worth looking at - just some food for thought. Also, in going from verse 1 into the chorus, I was momentarily confused because I needed to switch positions with what "I" meant (the girl's speaking in the verse and the singer's thinking in the chorus). I couldn't help thinking that it would have helped me if there was something in the lyrics to prepare me like in verse 2 where "I had to yell..." clarified the chorus. These are just ideas that I jotted down as I was listening. Please use them if they're useful or toss them in the trash if they are not

Overall, I like this song. It was a great listen. I'm impressed that it only took you two weeks to get together. When I write songs, I usually spend a lot longer than that. I wish that I could do it a bit quicker!

Regards,
Noel

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