Great work...I really liked the Korean version, with you voice, much more than the Synth V English version. Having done dual-language work I can say that only in very rare situations can you make the lyric work word-for-word in the other language. To get a good result you sometimes have to start with the idea, then re-mold the words so that they fit, make sense, and lay correctly against the melody.

Here's an example from your song:
Your "hook" line ends in "You will never be forgotten", but I think a better line--with the same sense--would be "And so I'll never forget you" or "That's why I'll never forget you".

In contrast, your original-language song sounded so nature and smooth, and the english subtitles helps the english listener to understand.. Plus, your voice sounded perfectly fine, maybe too much effect on it.

I would encourage you to:
1) Always post the original language version, with your vocal (or, if it's too difficult, maybe a Synth in Korean?)
2) Keep including the English subtitles
3) Think about maybe working with an English-speaking lyricist who can create a smooth, singable lyric in English that preserves your intent.

Excellent composition, and great post!

Windows 11, Intel Core i5-8600T 2.3Ghz, 16 gig ram, BIAB 2025 MegaPak, SampleTank 4, Keystation49 Kybd, Neewer NW-800 mic