I think this is a great improvement on the original. Re those short guitar breaks, I'd have gone for a different style - when I don't know beforehand what I want I nearly always try 20+ different ones before finding which suits best - and I'd have gone for something a little less attacking, plus with lyrics I wouldn't have had them so loud. When I'm using solos in my instrumentals, but also in 2 of my vocal songs, I try to find samples or sample segments where the solo instrument can be introduced slightly before the bar it's predominant in, and then ditto the outro of the solo. I often collect numbers of generations of a sample so I can 'cut & paste' the best start and ends. Also where solos start abruptly I often fade in the first second or fraction of a second, then also ditto re outros.

PS: I just saw DC Ron's comment - thanks Ron! - and it really does pay off to try out as many samples as one can. I probably have over 300 Styles in my 'Favorite Styles' box, and more than 50 of them are primarily for guitar solos Many I'll probably never use, but even those I don't use inspire ideas. About a week ago I finished a new instrumental - a very positive-vibed one called "A New Day" (same good feeling vibe as in my "Flying Free" & "Spring Forward" tracks) which has in order piano, tenor sax, organ and guitar solos, all depicting a continuing improvement in the Day, but the guitar solo was frustrating me as the first few samples I tried had the most interesting phrases in the bars before the solo starts. So I kept on regenerating the sample over and over again - probably the most generations I've ever done for a single solo - until I had 4 with most exciting phrases in different parts of the relevant bars. I then cut and pasted the 4 together so that the track ends with a real 'UP'! It took ages to do - probably about 4 hours for a 1 minute solo - but I really had fun doing it and what I got in the end was 100% what I wanted.

Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.