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Hi everyone, it took me some time. but now I'm back (again). And I have a song I would like you to listen to. It's called Dirty White Dress, https://on.soundcloud.com/doJVaz4HUudYs1xMGnI wrote this song because I'm concerned about the tensions in the world, like the wars (Ukraine, Gaza, Africa), and what they mean for the people there. But I kept it simple to keep the song accessible. The song is in the key of C ( after I tried all keys). The style is Style is _SWITCH.STY (Switch Indie Americana), but I almost changed every instrument. I also added synths for background purposes. I hope you like it. And please tell me what I could do better. I learn from that. Hans (Birchwood) The lyrics: A dirty white dress (C) HWBerkhout, aug. 3, 2025, Key: C Solo Verse 1 I walk through a destructed land, and a city torn apart. The dead and wounded are everywhere, no tree still stands in heart. Chorus I could only stare, as tears filled my eyes I see a child in a devastated street She wears a torn, dirty white dress And no shoes at her feet Solo Verse 2 No color left to witness, just ashes, black and grey. I hear the moans of fallen souls, their sounds won’t drift away. Chorus I could only stare in disbelief I see a child in a devastated street She wears a torn, dirty white dress And no shoes at her feet Verse 3 What kind of world I live in? Where [*****] pretend to be what we need Why do we follow these sick minds? Is fear-or apathy-in the lead? Solo + Look what they've done, look what they've done This world is completely mad! Chorus I could only stare, as tears filled my eyes I see a child in a devastated street She wears a torn, dirty white dress And no shoes at her feet I could only stare in disbelief I see a child in a devastated street She wears a torn, dirty white dress And no shoes at her feet And she's weeping, in her torn, dirty white dress...
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Hans, what an outstanding song. Great vocal with some real down to earth lyrics about the evils of war. War is hell, especially on the children as they do not understand what is going on.
Great backing band and mix.
Loved it and IMHO this is your best to date.
I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Very sad song Hans. Mankind if that is the proper way to describe ourselves never seems shock and amaze at the levels it is willing to go to.
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Hans, thematically ambitious without losing a slinky cool musicality. Super backing track and vocals. Nicely mixed, too. Think it's important to write about things we feel deeply, even when those things are dark. Well done!
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
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Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Hans,
Dark, brooding & musical...
Excellent band, vocal & production as usual. Tough topic done so well.
Bob
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Very powerful song, Hans, it certainly sums up the current state of the world quite well I think.
Well done!
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What I liked most about this was your vocal doubling at the chorus, very effective. Kudos to you for changing up the key and the instruments to get what you needed—that really shows mastery of BIAB toolkit. Enjoyed my listen!!
Windows 11, Intel Core i5-8600T 2.3Ghz, 16 gig ram, BIAB 2025 MegaPak, SampleTank 4, Keystation49 Kybd, Neewer NW-800 mic
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Lovely production and instrumentation in this theme-wise sad but oh too real song. Great use of the strings. I totally empathise with the lyrics. Today's faux democracies - the marriage of the corporate and the state and little to do with citizens - have always been insane and it's just getting worse. Writing as a qualified counsellor and someone who's studied analytical psychology and human consciousness for decades I can say, as others have, that it's all literally insane. There aren't any good guys in white hats anymore.
Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
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What a sad world we live in, you have captured that feel with heartbreaking lyrics. "No color left to witness/just ashes, black and grey/I hear the moans of fallen souls/their sounds won’t drift away" - that's really touching. And "Why do we follow these sick minds?", that's the question I've asked many times...
Nice arrangement, cello always works for me, fits well with the dramatic content. Guaranteed Hans vocals with strong emotion, the second voice creates nice contrast.
I'm really glad that you are back, I truly appreciate how you have shared your feelings with such a very fundamental song. I can feel the same disbelief.
Janne
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Hi Hans!
It doesn’t feel right to comment on how good the music was when the message in the lyrics is so important. Both are good, and the music serves the message very well.
Andrew
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Hi Hans.
This is one of the most powerful songs that I have heard on this forum. I found it impossible to listen to without images of the devastation of Palestine and its people cycling through my mind.Your chorus is incredible, and your production soars. Incredible work! This is the kind of song I would love to be able to write but my ability seems to reach a roadblock every time I try to. Kudos on a fantastic effort.
--Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2025
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Hi, Hans. Excellent work. Good write, well produced. The arrangement and vocals are very effective. Purely my opinion, but I'd want to leave the listener with the final words "dirty white dress" in their ears, instead of worrying about a nice cadence. So I'd cut it around 3:40, or 3:48 as the most. The longer it goes until the final ending, the further away those words are from being the last thought. There are a few places where the language isn't that of a native English speaker. For example: I walk through a destructed land,
and a city torn apart.
The dead and wounded are everywhere,
no tree still stands in heart.The word "destructed" is understandable, but wouldn't be used. A more typical word would be "destroyed" or "ravaged". Something like Rhymezone to check for synonyms. On the other hand, there's something unique about using language slightly differently than expected. So it's your call - is it more important to speak in your own voice and perhaps call attention from the song to your words, or find something more "normal" that perhaps isn't as unique? Obviously, it's your call. The line no tree still stands in heart is a bit confusing, because whatever the trees are no in the heart of isn't there in the sentence. Then again, maybe you intended to be ambiguous. The lyric What kind of world I live in? should probably be What kind of world do I live in? It's understandable as-is, but again, calls attention to itself because of the non-standard construction. Just some thoughts. I think the song works very well as-is.
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Hi, Hans. You already know how much I love this beautifully sad song, so I'm here just to see how our forum friends love it too. You actually pull heavy feelings of concern from my chest with this one. Like Mario said, the big concern is for the kids --they don't understand what's going on. Also, how does the world they grow up in shape their expectations of what life is all about? I also like David's suggestion to leave the listener with the image of that dazed and frightened little girl in her dirty white dress.
Oh, and just for the record, let me reiterate... Dang, Hans, you know I always love your Lennon-like vocals, but this one grabs my soul. You are a master of dynamics in your music to keep the listener listening. But with this one the dynamics are in the lyrics --or more especially what they imply, how they make the listener think. Yeah, yeah, you included the best possible band and all that, but it's the message you send that makes the song special.
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Welcome back, John! 😉
Very tasteful band and the cello and fiddle were especially nice.
Your layered vocals are very effective in imagining the scenery of the narrative.
The powerful lyric and in particular the chorus stay with you.
Due to wars and Mother Nature’s wrath we started years ago supporting the charity, Save The Children.
We encourage everyone to check them out as they provide much needed help globally and are well reviewed.
Well done!
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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Not an easy subject to put to music, but it brings to mind Queen & Bowie's Under Pressure. You did an awesome job. The strings were a great choice to bring the gravitas. I don't find it simple; I find it well-suited...eloquent. And sad.
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Hi Mario, Scott, Ron, Bob and Dave, Thanks a lot for listening to ‘the dirty white dress’. I enjoyed your comments. The composing of it, went to a lot of stages and even styles. At first I let the girl die. I also let AI made her lying on the rubble, but then changed my mind. But all of this was because of the tragic of the subject and not knowing what to do. Sorry I am a little late with my response, but after posting it we went away for a holiday in Belgium. Now in my hotel I had some time to respond… Hans, what an outstanding song. Great vocal with some real down to earth lyrics about the evils of war. War is hell, especially on the children as they do not understand what is going on.
Great backing band and mix.
Loved it and IMHO this is your best to date. Thanks a lot, Mario. Great compliments! Very sad song Hans. Mankind if that is the proper way to describe ourselves never seems shock and amaze at the levels it is willing to go to. Hi Scott, sadly enough you’re so right about that, and thanks for your comments! Hans, thematically ambitious without losing a slinky cool musicality. Super backing track and vocals. Nicely mixed, too. Think it's important to write about things we feel deeply, even when those things are dark. Well done! Thanks Ron for your kind words! And you are right about the cause of writing it. Hans,
Dark, brooding & musical...
Excellent band, vocal & production as usual. Tough topic done so well.
Bob Hi Bob, thanks for this! Very powerful song, Hans, it certainly sums up the current state of the world quite well I think.
Well done! Hello Dave, thanks for your nice words! Well, maybe songs can also help a bit to put the pressure on… Hans
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