Hey Lee!
I love it how your vocal and rhythm guitar start very boldly (baldly?) right out of the gate! A song that grabs a listener's attention right from the start is off to a good start. That band choice - Stonez Honky - fits the song and its humour very well, and I like the changes to the feel in the pre-chorus and break to create variation in the arrangement. If you were looking to shorten it, splitting the chorus in two and using half each chorus (although that would give you some rhyming problems and leave the title only stated once other than the outro), and maybe reducing the outro lines. It's up to you though - the song was entertaining and with variation that the song went quickly on my listens.

Don't apologise for your vocal - you used some interesting inflections, phrasing etc. to give some spice and added humour to the song. From what I've heard on this forum from other members, people appreciate hearing human vocals - no offense intended to anyone using AI.

Andrew