Why so nervous about this song having anything lacking?! It's excellently arranged and mixed and I love the lyrics. In fact I think it's a brilliant song.
I'm 74 now, so long retired, but this is a poem I wrote in 2008 a few years before then (I published in one of my poetry books in 2015 and also in my later 'best of' collection):

I Want to Retire
Self:
I want to retire,
I want my life to be a joy,
A free flow of love,
Of being.

I want to retire,
I want my life to be a song,
A free flowing poem,
A romance,
A work of art from moment to moment.
No problem,
No effort,
One with my nature
And one with Great Nature - with Life.

I want to work my creativity,
To write from the spirit and study,
To play,
To share love,
To BE.
I want to retire.

Spirit:
Then make it so.


Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.