Torrey,

So great to hear a new one from you. I think its sounding pretty brilliant. Love the melody and the chorus is catchy and killer. Busy lyrics . . . hmmm, maybe in just that first verse, though I’m not sure I would have picked up on it as much had I not read your comment first. Anyway, you can likely edit out a word in one or two of those lines (e.g., “Moonlight shining through my window bright”; “Perpetual motion of wheels takes a toll”; “I forget where I’m going or where I’ve been”)—all just suggestions to winnow out a syllable . . . but in the end go with what works for you. You know better than anyone.

If this is a work in progress, then the end result is going to be fantastic . . . because it’s already pretty excellent.

Deej