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It's Sunday. Time for church! Here's a rather messy attempt at a gospel song. The inspiration was a quote from Saint Hildegard of Bingen, a German Benedictine abbess, mystic, and visionary who lived in the 12th century...basically the first two lines of the song... and another quote from Mother Theresa who said the "pencil" bit. I'm not particularly happy with the 'overrated' and 'stated' rhyme. If I continue to work with this, I will definitely change that line to something else... elated would be better. Why didn't I think of that sooner! I know there are several issues with it; feel free to point them out to confirm my suspicions. That's always helpful. Anyhoo... Alleluia Style is _FABDAYS.STY (Fabulous Days Uplifting Pop) RealTracks in style: 995:Bass, Electric, HardRockLA Ev 120RealTracks in style: 1277:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopUpliftA-B Ev16 120 RealTracks in style: ~405:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 120 RealTracks in style: 2606:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm JazzRock8thsJon Ev 120 RealTracks in song: 2608:Bass, Electric, ModernDiscoFunkAlex Ev 110 RealTracks in song: 2533:Guitar, Acoustic, HeldChords RealTracks in song: 1577:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm Soul60sSync Ev 110 RealDrums in style:Nashville drum beat and soft brushes I replaced the drums with a RT I used in another song, The Eye Added RT2619 That incredibly fun funky organ. Some BIAB ahs and oos with a few of my own sprinkled in. Loop:AcousticDrumFullKit\Rock - gl_breakdown100g ev16.wav LYRICS: I am a feather on the breath of God I am a pencil in his hand, in his hand The Holy Spirit moves in me giving life and so carefree Allelu Allelu Luia Free will is overrated and I think it must be stated Every inspiration comes from God when confused I make myself still I surrender to Divine will and I pray that I can please God every day in every way Thanks for listening!
Last edited by BYOBand; 08/31/25 11:03 PM.
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I dunno, Beth. You might be a little hard on yourself on this one, since I enjoyed the tune a lot. The lyrics are sparse but get to the intent across. Your vocal arrangement/performance is nuanced and really cool, and the organ intro brings out the gospel theme to my ears. The bass is perhaps non-traditional to the genre but I though it provided a cool, frenetic contrast to the more measured vocals. The ending was a little abrupt, but I'm pressing here. If you need a more critical review, I'm sure others can help there. But I liked it!
DC Ron
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Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Beth,
The song is great, your vocal is great and the production is great. I guess what I'm saying is - this is GREAT!
Bob
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Hi Beth! With that funky bass and organ, this song certainly conveys the start or end of a church service, and not the reverent middle. The upbeat nature gives me a feeling of celebration. I like the BVs and would love them to be more prominent. Especially liked these around 1:15 and my preference is for them to hang on for another bar by themselves before the band comes back in. Like DC Ron, I felt it ended a bit quickly, and with the track now at only 3:00, is their scope to have an extended band-only outro where they all (including BVs and maybe lead vocal occasional phrasing) lift in intensity with the organ doing a solo on the way out and an extended global fade out - giving the impression the church service is continuing? Just an idea …
Andrew
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Hi Beth.
I completely agree with Bob (@rsdean), this is great. I was with you all the way. I absolutely loved your performance, arrangement and production.
--Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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Hey, thanks, Rob, Bob, Andrew and Noel! I'm shocked and appreciative that you all liked it. I agree about the length of the break and the length of the ending...technical nightmare to change it now. It would mean, unless I'm unaware of some RB magic, going back to BIAB to extend those sections and then back to RB, redoing all the vocals (there are 5 or 6 different tracks). This may be "just a demo" for awhile while I build up the motivation to do that!
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Beth, glad I/we could help verify the obvious.  I don't use RB but find it hard to believe that changing the ending would require redoing the vocals or anything else major. On Studio One or Cakewalk, it would take less than five minutes to import new BiaB stems and delete the old ones. Maybe worth a post to the RB sub-forum, since this would be an essential editing skill to know. Love your song even if you don't change it though.
DC Ron
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Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Beth, first of all, anyone who knows/quotes Hildegard is off on the right foot with me (great composer as she was herself!). I liked what you've done here. I think the ending is fine. If it were mine, I would have ended the last chorus maybe with a doubled vocal +1 octave, or with some exuberant shouting--kind of an "elevated" alleluia. The song's got great, positive movement to it, and the sparse lyric fits perfectly. Consulting my Rhyming dictionary, there are tons of choices for "-ate", so if you decide to change it, you've got lots to choose from. I like it as is! Thanks for posting!
Windows 11, Intel Core i5-8600T 2.3Ghz, 16 gig ram, BIAB 2025 MegaPak, SampleTank 4, Keystation49 Kybd, Neewer NW-800 mic
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Well, the first issue that reached my ears was those amazing vocals. Good song, Beth. Good theme and some terrific choices for inspiration. Listened twice and couldn't hear the issues you hint at, so I agree with Ron in that you may be too hard on yourself. BUT that kind self-anaysis is key to improvement.
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Fantastic song Beth - your vocal and arrangement is top notch,
your recording/mixing/mastering techniques are way up there,
your vocal overdubs all very slightly behind the beat (but all in
perfect sync), very impressive - don't change a thing!!
BTW - I think you may have heard my chair squeak during
my recording of "Believe In Something",
you have better ears than me!
Carl
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Hi Beth, I read all the posts and listened a couple of times to your song.
I agree with Ron (and others), you were a bit too harsh on yourself. On the other hand, like Marty said, that isn't bad; You have to keep looking at your songs critically. That's how you really learn.
I like the song, and especially your creative way of using/singing 'Alleluia' in the chorus. What made me hesitate was the song's funky style.
Of course, a gospel song should be funky, but here it sounded a bit too stacato, while the gospel style is more fluid. Just like your excellent singing.
But still it is a very nice song.
Hans
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Technically speaking, there's nothing wrong with your song; I really enjoyed listening to it.
However, since you asked about possible improvements or changes, I'd put "more dynamics" on the list.
I often listen to gospel music because both my sister and my niece sing in a gospel choir, and I am particularly struck by how much the dynamics and intensity change through the singing alone.
You're a really good singer, I'm 100% sure you can do that.
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This is terrific, Beth.
Your best, I think.
Solid tracks, good BAND. Nice use of the organ. Loved the bass.
Ya had me dancin' in my chair.
Very nice vocals. And BGVs.
I thought they needed a different reverb. Or more of the current one? but I think it's the type. It sounds like you might have a small room type reverb? This rockin' gospel tune could support a bigger hall type. Vocals and BGVs. Perhaps think in terms of giving them a "church-y" reverb? Just a thought.
I enjoyed your song.
fj
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Love the instrumentation in this. Great chord structure, arrangement and mix.
Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
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@Floyd My gosh! Yes! I didn't even think of that. Great suggestion!
Last edited by BYOBand; 09/02/25 03:01 AM.
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So, your feedback has been invaluable...as usual. Thanks!! I know what I need to do now. The plan, summarized here, is for my own benefit:
extend the middle break
make the outro longer and add some "exuberant shouting" maybe
play with the vocal dynamics
churchify the reverb
rework that lyric bit
In the words of the great what's-his-name: "I'll be bach."
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Beth, I agree with the others about being too hard on yourself. However I will disagree with your "improvement plans". IMHO the only thing you might want to add are some dynamics to your vocals and backing vocals. For instance your Alleluia(h)s could be louder as they might be in a church choir. Loved the organ, bass, and the funk style.
Loved it.
Principal: Your child always causes trouble in school.
Me: My child causes trouble at home, do I ever call you?
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Hi, Beth. You've been given lots of good advice, so I'll just sit back and listen to the sermon...  Upbeat gospel, the choir is singing, and the organ is bopping along. Cool! Free will is overrated
and I think it must be stated
Every inspiration comes from GodWell, since the literal meaning of "inspiration" is "to breathe into" or "to infuse with spirit", how can I argue with that?  Fun listen.
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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