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https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=15099478It's only been three years since I first posted this song, but it's taken me a while to do a revision. I got some helpful criticism from rayc and Marty about one aspect of the lyrics and hopefully I corrected that. In total I overhauled about ten lines in the lyric. I'm still not happy with how the word 'orphanage' sticks out like a sore thumb, but it needs to be there. I also heard from family and friends that it was hard to hear the words of my vocal. So I sang a new vocal with an ear toward clarity. The backing vocal got some criticism as well, but I'm too cheap to pay for another. I could use some opinions on the title: "1959", instead of the obvious "Back on the Street Again." Well, this is it - hope it's better now. (Edit: I made the vocal level decrease Floyd suggested and the fiddle decrease others suggested) Real Tracks: 3121:Bass, Acoustic, PopHalfNotesPush Ev 085 1877:Fiddle, Soloist CountryRob Ev 120 ~542:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Dreamy Ev 085 ~1118:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Strumming Ev 085 RealDrums [in style:BluesRockEv^2-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride Lyrics: She signed herself out of Saint E's Didn't know where to go Picked her kid up at the orphanage Took him to the picture show Where would they sleep that night? She finally found them a room Toilet down the hall, bugs on the wall Hot plate, mop and a broom The fathers, they gave her five dollars Last til she earns a check Gotta get down upon her knees Beg for her old job back CHORUS How long will she last this time How long can she fend Sooner or later, sure as you're born, They'll be back on the street again The fan ain't running lately The weather's hot as hell Dampen up a dish cloth Cuz the kid ain't feeling well She could stand some whiskey The meds are not enough There's ways to get the things you need But men can be so rough Too much fret and worry Watching every dime Money it goes quickly In 1959 CHORUS How long will she last this time How long can she fend Sooner or later, sure as you're born, They'll be back on the street again SOLO The world is on her shoulders There's voices in her head Ask the Lord for room and board Her faith hangs from a thread Heat of summer passes Winter's on its way Hope the radiator works And keeps the cold at bay Didn't get so lucky Does anybody care Both of them start hacking In the frigid air. CHORUS How long will she last this time How long can she fend Sooner or later, sure as you're born, They'll be back on the street again
Last edited by TuneMonger; 09/06/25 03:05 AM.
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Good story nicely told, I really enjoyed my listen.
I haven't listened to the original, but your vocals sound good.
The background vocals still aren't good, but you already know that.
Besides the mentioned obvious title "How long will she last" would be something that would make me curious to listen to the song.
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Rob, love this tune! Nice narrative floating on a gentle backing track. Your outstanding vocals really carry the song though. Love the gritty character of your voice on this one, and the vocal FX and mix placement sound exactly right to me. Understand the criticism of the BGVs; like the concept but the execution could be tightened up. Have to admit I was disappointed when I got to the "SOLO" section because I was anticipating your excellent harp work. Oh, well. The BiaB fiddle did fine though. Think the title works fine, too.
Anway...excellent work here!
DC Ron
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Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Rob,
This is my favorite from you... Great song and an excellent vocal. Love the tracks and production.
Great stuff!
Bob
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Rob,
One Hellava Write!
Wow.
That would be enough said. Damn Good.
But...
Love your vocals.
You should always sing your own songs. So much character. (We need more of that these days.)
Nice backing. Stays outta the way. Good mix. Vocals are very clear (they could be a dB lower volume-wise)
(A piano version of this would be nice, too)
I've had a few words, like "orphanage" that I felt "stuck out". Sometimes you just gotta live with it.
I don't think this one is a problem, though. Hardly a bump.
You could use "from" instead of "at" - that "softens" it slightly. Then sing "ORFnage" to really own it.
I like your title (says the guy who write "1972").
You could repeat that line "Money it goes quickly...In 1959" as a tag after that last chorus. To shore up the title
Could change that up a bit, too, if need be... "Life moves on. Slowly....in 1959"
But...you needn't change a thing. This is Excellent.
Excellent Excellent Excellent
fj
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Bob, this is fantastic. The vocal is excellent. Great lyrics also. That backing band in outstanding, a perfect blend with your vocal. The mix is spot on.
IMHO this is your best to date.
Loved it
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Hi Rob,
This is a song that makes the listener think a great deal about the lyrics and the story. Although I cannot recall hearing the previous version, it's very easy to hear that a huge amount of effort has gone into the creating of this song – its writing, arranging, production and your performance. Everything sounds excellent to me. I really enjoyed this thought-provoking musical journey.
--Noel
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I remember the original as I listen. this rebuild is built to last.
All the things FJ wrote are spot on - except the vocal level as that's been done.
Title - TICK
Vocal - TICK TICK
Narrative - BOOOOOOM.
Cheers
rayc
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Hi Rob!
I was drawn to the title, wondering "What's this song going to say." For me, it set the context for the story. Without having read your full message, I let the song play while I read your lyrics. I saw the orphanage approaching and thought 'How's this going to fit?' and then it came and I thought it felt very natural - just as one would say it.
This is a great song to listen to and reflect on the story. If it were on Soundcloud, I'd give it a like and add it to my playlist.
Well done.
Andrew
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Really good write, Bob! Love the story.
I also really like your vocal in this, perfect fit.
Excellent!
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Hi, Bob. Bet you're glad you didn't have to rhyme "orphanage." Hey, could that rhyme with orange.
I like the feel of this and you melody really supports that, or dictates it; either way, the perfecdt melody for the feel. I always like your vocals, Bob, and no exception herre. The fiddle solo seemed a bit loud to me, but who cares. What a well written song, and so well mixed. Very pleasurable.
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Hi Rob,
Wow, that fiddle did come in a little hot as I listen. Your voice has a nice storyteller quality to it without being too talky. I don't mind the BV; they sound okay. Orphanage works okay. Could sub "foster home" if you wanted, I suppose. Re: title... I think "Back on the Street Again" might resonate with more folks though naming it 1959 reveals how times haven't changed much! Nice work.
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An excellent storytelling song. I had no problem with 'orphanage' except that it would be better sung as 3 syllables whereas you almost try to make it two. It doesn't need to be rushed. My only key criticism is that the dreamy guitar should be a lot quieter as it's rhythm section.
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Bob,
That's quite a story. Your lyrics are always superb.
I like the title. I was 12 years old in 1959 - wow - hard to believe!
Your choice of backing tracks is 100% perfect for this one. The mix is spot on. Everything about this says "Damn, that's good!"
Congrats on an excellent song!!!
Alan
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Thanks, BD, glad to know the vocals are okay.
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Thanks, Ron, glad you liked this. You're right, I should've done a harp solo on this. I tried but didn't like the results. However, I should've stayed with it until I got a take I liked. I do best on blues and jazz, genres that swing. But I need to keep working on the even groove stuff until I improve.
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Bob, this is my favorite, too. Thanks so much.
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Floyd, you've been so much help and inspiration here on the forum. Thanks so much for this detailed and positive review! I immediately uploaded a take with your suggested one db lower on the vocal, thanks for that! I appreciate your wisdom re words that don't fit. Sometimes you gotta use em. I really like your idea about bringing the title back into the lyric as the song ends. I've been spending a lot of time on the wordage for that. When I get it, I'll post the update. And thanks so much for the encouragement re singing. That is greatly appreciated. Really am grateful for your time on this, it means a lot!!
Last edited by TuneMonger; 09/09/25 09:06 AM.
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Thanks so much, Mario. I agree, I think this is the best thing I've done. Kinda wish I'd pay for some new backing vocals, but I'm cheap.
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Noel, thanks so much. Coming from a talent like yourself, that means a lot.
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