Quote:

In this song our hero is anticipating happy. As a listener I'm getting happier with him. So by the time the song gets to the bridge as a listener I'm psyched expecting a big payoff - high point in the song - release - but the last line of the bridge melody goes down and fizzles into the next chorus. The song loses momentum there and I'm let down. It's sounding too much the same.


Amen. This gets to the heart of MY difficulty with this one. Writer to writer, this one was a challenge to wrap up Josie- music, arrangement aside. Bottom line, this guy's ark has to be somewhere in there. The question is, when does he realize it IS love he's falling in? Can't end a song with the poor guy remaining an undecided dope! I considered by the end of the bridge he has his revelation, but it just wasn't working. I have three chunky verses in there- the bridge can't get long in the mouth- it's gotta be short and sweet, add a little more info, and keep moving. Just not enough time to say it with the current structure. So, he remains undecided but it dawns on him by the very next chorus and happily 'gets it' in the last one.

Truth being, my biggest concern with this one is a fairly big no-no which no one picked up on but being I'm so generous as to point out possible flaws in my own work, I'll tell you! My hook line, the title, doesn't make it's appearence until almost 1 1/2 minutes in. That's an eternity. If you're going to try that, you'd better have some strong damn writing and interest up to that point. I feel I have just that, and when the hook finally does come, I make up for lost time in quite a big way. There's four choruses in there and my title is sung a whopping 9 times- 10 maybe. Viable hit country songs don't leave you guessing- they sing the title many times. If you ain't sayin it often, you need a rewrite right there. So there's my thoughts on the writing. I'd be lying if I said I'd rework it now though. Maybe down the line. I really do feel this one holds it's own. After all the of the thoughtful discussion about music, instrumentation, arragement and writing, the many average people I've tested play with this one all say I LOVE it. They hum it instantly. It's testing well with the average listener. Nuts & bolts wise heck, on to the next one and hey, it'll be even better. It has to be right?!

Thanks so much for reading this far. If any of you have, you ARE interested in the craft of songwriting beyond just listening to that nice song.

Edit- you're talking about the melody of the last chorus- I see. I do hear exactly what you're saying, but that melody line is really strong. It's an essencial melodic change up there, which is needed. I think it speaks to where the following chorus goes, more than the previous bridge. I considered a modulation may be in order to kick it up another notch in that spot. Never did do it though. Maybe...!

Dan

My YT Channel- http://www.youtube.com/user/dfizzbom