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Ha!

Rhyming "table" with "Babel" gets a gold star right there. My daughter looked up and asked "Dad, are you going to tell him they don't rhyme?" the second time around. She knows me too well. But because you know better, and did it anyway... heck, two gold stars! laugh

I'll even ignore the WTF-is-the-drum-doing ending! wink

Great write by your brother, and excellent everything else by you. 👍


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Originally Posted by TuneMonger
Hmm, kinda reminded me of the verse section of Squeeze's Take Me, I'm Yours. Def interesting lyrics. Always good vocals, especially those harmonies. Good stuff once again!

THANKS, Rob!

Y'know, I LOVE Squeeze and Glenn Tilbrook's melodies are DIVINE. And "Take Me, I'm Yours" is a BANGER of a song that I know very well. But I'm not hearing much in common between the two songs. Not that sounding like "Take Me, I'm Yours" would be a bad thing to me. I'd LOVE to write a song like that. But I don't think I have in this case.

Glad you enjoyed the tune!


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Originally Posted by Al-David
Hi Ron,

First those repeated lines you asked about are a refrain. Refrains are repetitive 2 or 3 lines at the end of certain similar passages. their job is to create continuity to the message and generate a memorable slice of the song. Where a bridge is a single appearance of a few lines that brings all the different elements of the song together from a slightly different POV, A refrain further explains the storyline with repetitive appearances in the same respective places throughout the song. It reminds the listener of the basic theme of the lyrics, evoking a sense of familiarity. That's the non-technical, relatively short version. All that said, I have no formal musical training whatsoever - neither read nor write notation. So,taje that into consideration. But, that's how I've always treated these "inserts".

OK, that out of the way:

This is a very interesting song. Not a typical arrangement - but it's great - so, a nice change from the expected. The remarkable story you've created makes you wonder how many times situations like this come and go. Your mixes are always spot on- everything when and where it should be and at the proper volume. You know your stuff, my friend!

Nothing to complain about - except I didn't write it. Dang!

Take care, Ron.

Alan

THANKS, Alan! I like "refrain", that makes a lot of sense to me.

The serendipity of how relationships form (and perhaps more often miss forming) is a topic I ponder quite a bit. Probably why I love these lyrics. THANKS for sharing your thoughts and for not complaining. smile


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I can visualize the entire scene with your excellent storytelling. Good chorus. And as I have come to expect from you, excellent BGVs.

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Ron, this is a great song. Super backing tracks. Your vocal was very strong. Loved those lyrics. Really great drums.
Great mix.
Loved it.


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Originally Posted by dcuny
Ha!

Rhyming "table" with "Babel" gets a gold star right there. My daughter looked up and asked "Dad, are you going to tell him they don't rhyme?" the second time around. She knows me too well. But because you know better, and did it anyway... heck, two gold stars! laugh

I'll even ignore the WTF-is-the-drum-doing ending! wink

Great write by your brother, and excellent everything else by you. 👍

David, appreciate the gold stars, but elected to change the pronunciation and repost. THANKS to you and your daughter for your careful attention to detail, and for bringing it to my attention. smile


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Originally Posted by Tano Music
Really entertaining story-song, and so nicely produced. Thoroughly enjoyed my listen!

Thanks, Tom! Always enjoy a good story-song myself.

Originally Posted by BabuMusic
Cool one, Ron. Wasn't sure where the title would take us, but you did an amazing job. I'm not big on genre or song part designation. Just write. The bar was crowded part, although I agree most would call it pre-chorus; it's just a great part.

Serious, I really like the way you build your songs, and this one is solid construction for sure. Fun story, and Joe is the hero and waitress is the heroine.

Thank you for the vote of confidence, Marty! Fun little character sketch, and I love how the lyrics bring these two to life, and we suppose together, in so few words.


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Hi Ron,

What a truly lovely song! You sing it beautifully, have a really good voice (haven't I said that before?), and you tells a strong story. It's a song that leaves you with a smile on your face, and a little sad too.
Powerful, fun lines about the Tower of Babel and that busy café. Great idea!

Enjoyed this song too, Ron. Like all your songs, I mean.

Best regards,
Hans


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Originally Posted by laurent4114
I really like the pedal steel arrangements. Good song, but the guy will have to come back next week if I understand correctly.
Laurent

Laurent, ha! Well, I guess he MIGHT. But it is a bit ambiguous, isn't it? Love ambiguity. THANKS for listening!


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Originally Posted by WaoBand
Great song, Ron. Superb production, plus the instrumentation and arrangement was exactly right for the song. Great backing vocals, too.

Thanks, Chay. Appreciate the listen!


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Originally Posted by Izzy
Hi Ron

“A Forge, A Waitress, and A Jukebox Song,” feels like I've stumbling onto a story that I didn’t know I needed to hear.

The song paints a slice-of-life scene inside a working-class bar, focusing on two weary characters—a blue-collar worker and a woman seeking escape. Their interaction is grounded in realism and emotional subtlety. The recurring refrain about the crowded, loud bar underscores the sense of isolation within noise and chaos, while the “song on the jukebox” cleverly mirrors the characters’ unspoken loneliness. I suspect that many of us can relate to this synopsis.

Production-wise, everything just fits like a nicely crafted piece of music carried by good vocals, both main and backing vox.✔️🆗

As promised, there are no robot servants or tales of dementia here—just good, honest, blue-collar angst.

I like this song, It's a delightfully human slice of life, proving that you only need great apes—not AI—to write simple stories about guys who definitely need to work on their table manners.🙄

Another excellent thought provoking song from Team Davis. 👍

Izzy.

THANKS, Izzy. Blue collar angst is the best. Appreciate the listen and entertaining review.


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Originally Posted by BlueAttitude
Very different! And very cool.

Good vocal, and I especially like the BGV's. Nice to hear you playing too, short but sweet wink Excellent mix as per usual.

Good one, Ron, I enjoy your music.

Thanks, Dave. I'm not a shredder but occasionally feel a guitar part that needs to be heard. In this song, the intro, break and outro uniquely include the C-D-F-G progression, and the break spoke to me in the context of the song. THANKS for noticing! Glad you enjoyed the song and our music. smile


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Originally Posted by David Snyder
Wow, very cool man! Has an R.E.M. vibe, especially in the lyrics. Great job. Love the instrumentation and the build and the mix.

Awesome.


Note on my posts: I listen to these wonderful and varied forum songs for pure enjoyment as part of my daily “radio,” in large chunks, while I am out and about. Then I post all my thoughts later, not on the spot. As I do not think the forum is a place for competitiveness, I will shy away from any critiques from now on. I come here for peace and enjoyment only and have no ego invested. Thank you.

THANKS, David. Yeah, early REM definitely resonates with me and I presume echoes through a lot of our music. Fun to build these softer songs when anything other than a gentle touch will send it careening off the rails. Appreciate the listen and response!


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Originally Posted by BYOBand
Unusual but entirely catchy. If I knew more about music I could probably give you more helpful feedback, pointing out the things/parts that really worked as many of our more musician-ee friends do. I can say that I really admire how you work magic around difficult words/phrases. Seems you give the story priority over ease of fitting in the chord structure, but somehow it always, always works and just sounds cool. I hope that makes sense.

Thank you for the listen, Beth. If I knew more about music I'd probably wax poetic about the harmonic role of certain SUS chords or something technical like that. But instead I'll just say I'm really grateful for your comments as they perfectly reflect how I think about my role in bringing these lyrics to life. So, just...thank you. smile


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Very good song and nice vocals.
Nice story too.
As far as I'm concerned the "the bar was crowded" part is part of the verse. That is... I hear it as a verse, written like this:

He put his tools into the box
Looked at the wall with all the clocks
Threw his hardhat behind the seat
Then went to get something to eat
The bar was crowded
And the music was loud
And they were all getting rowdy

But... this is just the opinion of a simple Dutch girl smile

Anne-Marie


We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

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Originally Posted by Andrew Dee
Great song, Ron! My listening highlight is the section at 2:00 ‘She brought him something on a plate’ - those BVs!

I’ve seen you write before about your brother’s material - this listen made me wonder … how do you choose your next song? Does your brother specify? Do you spin the roulette wheel, or do you re-read and choose one that jumps out? I’m in admiration for anyone that can take the lyrics first path and craft the music to suit.
Great song!
Andrew

Thanks, Andrew! Yeah, that unison BGV followed by the same line with a 2nd unison voice on top is a cool effect. Know we've had a longer conversation on this offline, but for others...I choose which song to post from our catalog based on variety and what I think (hope?) listeners will enjoy. If my brother ever asks for a song to be posted I'll certainly do it. Once he told me in advance that a certain lyric could never be posted, so I crafted a song I could post out of devilish fun. That was "Epiphany". smile


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Ron (& R.W.)

Really like your bed of drums&bass. And the steel "strings" to sweeten...
Nice "break".
I like how the vocals are processed. They sit perfectly to tell this story.
Cool bgvs. Nice Tight harmony!

Y'all are true originals.
There is something about this that reminds me of Paul Simon (if you mixed a little Elvis Costello into Paul) - a similar originality...

A good musical experience. Thanks for that...

fj

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Hi Ron.

I thoroughly enjoyed this. You and your brother certainly are a songwriting powerhouse!. As others have mentioned, the title really engages a person's imagination. It made me wonder what the song was going to be about. I often read the lyrics to songs before I listen. With this one, however, I didn't want to spoil the effect of the title and its meaning. I'm glad I chose that approach. I did not anticipate this story line at all. Your music, performance and production along with your brother's lyrics kept me fully engaged throughout smile Loved it!

--Noel

P.S. Regarding those repeated lines... As J&B and Alan have noted, this is called a refrain. And as Anne-Marie has said, it's usually attached to a verse somewhere. It's a term that comes from poetry and it's easy to find information about it on the internet. In songwriting, it is a lyric technique that has been used by many famous composers in many famous songs. Somewhere Over The Rainbow has a refrain at the beginning of each A-section. In this case, the refrain doubles as the title and hook. A couple of famous songs that come to mind as I'm typing this that use a refrain at the end of each section are Dream Lover and Close To You.

I've actually used variations of the "Close To You" approach to lyric writing in my own songs a number of times. The basic principle of Close To You is that each A-section follows a similar pattern to the one shown below.
Quote
"Close To You" by Burt Bacharach and Hal David
Lyric format in each A-section

verse information line 1
verse information line 2
refrain line 1
refrain line 2
refrain line 3

Personally, I've found it to be a very productive way to write lyrics while minimising the angst caused by writing lyrics. By keeping the refrain constant in each of the three A-sections, only 6 lines of verse lyrics are needed to complete all three A-sections. By adding an extra 4 lines for the B (bridge, middle 8) section, a complete song can be written with 10 different lines of lyrics! I like this (not counting the refrain) smile It's a technique that I often use when I write lyrics without any instrument present. My song Summer Moon used this approach. You'll be able to see the words on Soundcloud. I used a 2-line refrain. This technique let me write the lyrics for this song while I was in hospital getting over complications caused by prostate cancer back in 2018.


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Originally Posted by Janice & Bud
Firstly, we love open mixes like this.

Very, very good vocals and the ah’s came in at such a perfect time in the fine lyric
We were transported inside that bar with the sights, sounds and even smells! 😆

The band and your standout guitar work are great.
That background steel was very nice.

Enjoyed it!

J&B

PS:Anyone know what "The bar was crowded..." section should be called?
We're calling it a "pre-chorus," but it shows up between verses, too, so...curious minds want to know.

We’ve used that a lot and always referred to it as a refrain.

J&B, THANK YOU for the listen and the nice review. Those BiaB steels almost always sound SO nice to me, I have to make an effort to not use them on everything. "Refrain" has a nice ring to it, I like it!


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Hey Ron,
This is the first of your songs I've heard, so I don't know if it's an indication of a recurring style or unique to this song. I like it! It has a Tom Petty feel to my ear. It certainly isn't a cookie cutter tune... very uniquely crafted and interesting! Your mix is very clear and cleverly assembled. Your use of realtracks is very well done and I like your vocals... all in all I'd call this a home run. It's one those that makes me want to keep listening over and over.

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What are XPro Styles and Xtra Styles PAKs?

XPro Styles PAKs are styles that work with any version (Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition) of Band-in-a-Box® 2025 (or higher). XPro Styles PAKS 1-9 includes 900 styles!

Xtra Styles PAKs are styles that work with the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box® 2025 (or higher). With over 3,500 styles (and 35 MIDI styles) included in Xtra Styles PAKs 1-20, the possibilities are endless!

Get the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 9 for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Listen to demos and order now! For Windows or for Mac.

Note: XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

Get Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 20 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 19 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Listen to demos and order now! For Windows or for Mac.

Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 19 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

Don’t miss this chance to supercharge your Band-in-a-Box setup—at a great price!

Mac 2025 Special Upgrade Offers Extended Until August 15th!

It's not too late to upgrade to Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac® and save! We've extended our special until August 15, 2025!

We've added many major new features to Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac®, including advanced AI tools like the amazing BB Stem Splitter and AI Lyrics Generator, as well as VST3 plugin support, and Equalize Temp. Plus, there’s a new one-stop MIDI Patches Picker with over 1,100 MIDI patches to choose from, all neatly categorized by GM numbers. The MultiPicker Library is enhanced with tabs for the SongPicker, MIDI Patch Picker, Chord Builder, AI Lyrics Generator, and Song Titles Browser, and the tabs are organized into logical groups. The Audiophile Edition is enhanced with FLAC files , which are 60% smaller than AIFF files while maintaining identical audio quality, and now ships on a fast 1TB SSD, and much more!

Check out all the new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac® here:

Purchase your Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac during our special to save up to 50% off your upgrade purchase and receive a FREE BONUS PAK of amazing new Add-ons. These include the 2025 RealCombos Booster PAK, Look Ma! More MIDI 13: Country & Americana, Instrumental Studies Set 22: 2-Hand Piano Soloing - Rhythm Changes, MIDI SuperTracks Set 44: Jazz Piano, Artist Performance Set 17: Songs with Vocals 7, Playable RealTracks Set 4, RealDrums Stems Set 7: Jazz with Mike Clark, and more!

Upgrade to the 2025 49-PAK for just $49 and add 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and 20 RealStyles, FLAC Files for the 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks, Look Ma! More MIDI 14: SynthMaster, MIDI SuperTracks Set 45: More SynthMaster, Artist Performance Set 18: Songs with Vocals 8, and RealDrums Stems Set 8: Pop, Funk & More with Jerry Roe.
Learn more about the Bonus PAKs!

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