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A Forge, A Waitress, and a Jukebox Song

A simple love story of sorts. Sorry, no tales of dementia or dystopian horror shows this time around. Maybe next time. smile

Anyone know what "The bar was crowded..." section should be called? We're calling it a "pre-chorus," but it shows up between verses, too, so...curious minds want to know.

THANK YOU in advance for taking the time to listen and comment!

R.W. Davis: Lyrics
Me: Music, arrangement, mix, master, vocals, harmonies, BGVs, guitar break
AI: None. Only great apes. Your call on taxonomy...

****** Song Summary *************
File:A Forge A Waitress and a Jukebox Song.SGU
Key=C , Tempo 125, Length (m:s)=3:12
Style is _RIBBON.STY (Ribbon Soft Country Piano)
RealTracks in style: 1253:Bass, Electric, PopShiningHeld Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 2046:Piano, Acoustic, Solo-Accompaniment CountryPopJohn Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 3718:Guitar, Baritone Acoustic, Rhythm Americana8ths Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 2541:Pedal Steel, Background ModernPopCountry Ev 110
RealDrums in style:Americana16GroovinBrushFred^1-a,b:Brushes,Toms
Guitar: Fernandes 50s Stratocaster clone, Spider V30 amp, Brit Plexi 45 preset

A Forge, A Waitress, and A Jukebox Song

He put his tools into the box
Looked at the wall with all the clocks
Threw his hardhat behind the seat
Then went to get something to eat

The bar was crowded
And the music was loud
And they were all getting rowdy

She put some ice into the glass
And then pretends she has some class
The worry lines upon her face
She wants to get out of this place

The bar was crowded
And the music was loud
And they were all getting rowdy

And the song on the jukebox was something about a guy
Who couldn’t get a girl
But the words got lost in the echoing conversations
And the weight of the world
You could hear the glasses on the table
And the forks on the plate
But like the Tower of Babel
You couldn’t hear it straight
And someone shouted “last call”
But it was just too late

The callouses on both his hands
Slid through his hair and all the strands
Then stopping at a painful spot
He closed his eyes and cursed a lot

The bar was crowded
And the music was loud
And they were all getting rowdy

She brought him something on a plate
He said “sorry, but I just ate”
She blushed and cried, then turned to go
He said “please stay, my name is Joe”

The bar was crowded
And the music was loud
And they were all getting rowdy
And the song on the jukebox was something about a guy
Who couldn’t get a girl
But the words got lost in the echoing conversations
And the weight of the world
You could hear the glasses on the table
And the forks on the plate
But like the Tower of Babel
You couldn’t hear it straight
And someone shouted “last call”
But it was just too late

It was just too late...

Last edited by DC Ron; 10/26/25 03:10 PM.

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Cool and catchy song with an unusual structure.
I like it [Linked Image - Only viewable when logged in]
I'm no expert on theoretical matters, but I'd call this section an "interlude."

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Ron,

Nice work. I always like a good story song.

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Ron,

This is an absolutely great song. Love the lyrics, your delivery and the excellent mix.

A new favorite for me!

AWESOME!

Bob

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Pretty cool writing, arrangement & performances.
The cadence of "And they were all getting rowdy" bothered me a little bit...but not much as there were plenty of other things to focus on.


Cheers
rayc
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Hmm, kinda reminded me of the verse section of Squeeze's Take Me, I'm Yours. Def interesting lyrics. Always good vocals, especially those harmonies. Good stuff once again!


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Hi Ron,

First those repeated lines you asked about are a refrain. Refrains are repetitive 2 or 3 lines at the end of certain similar passages. their job is to create continuity to the message and generate a memorable slice of the song. Where a bridge is a single appearance of a few lines that brings all the different elements of the song together from a slightly different POV, A refrain further explains the storyline with repetitive appearances in the same respective places throughout the song. It reminds the listener of the basic theme of the lyrics, evoking a sense of familiarity. That's the non-technical, relatively short version. All that said, I have no formal musical training whatsoever - neither read nor write notation. So,taje that into consideration. But, that's how I've always treated these "inserts".

OK, that out of the way:

This is a very interesting song. Not a typical arrangement - but it's great - so, a nice change from the expected. The remarkable story you've created makes you wonder how many times situations like this come and go. Your mixes are always spot on- everything when and where it should be and at the proper volume. You know your stuff, my friend!

Nothing to complain about - except I didn't write it. Dang!

Take care, Ron.

Alan


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Really entertaining story-song, and so nicely produced. Thoroughly enjoyed my listen!


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Cool one, Ron. Wasn't sure where the title would take us, but you did an amazing job. I'm not big on genre or song part designation. Just write. The bar was crowded part, although I agree most would call it pre-chorus; it's just a great part.

Serious, I really like the way you build your songs, and this one is solid construction for sure. Fun story, and Joe is the hero and waitress is the heroine.


Enjoy whatever happens!
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I really like the pedal steel arrangements. Good song, but the guy will have to come back next week if I understand correctly.
Laurent

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Originally Posted by B.D.Thomas
Cool and catchy song with an unusual structure.
I like it [Linked Image - Only viewable when logged in]
I'm no expert on theoretical matters, but I'd call this section an "interlude."

Thanks, B.D.! "Unusual" might be my favorite adjective, appreciate it! "Interlude" sounds too fancy for such a simple song though. Ha!


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Great song, Ron. Superb production, plus the instrumentation and arrangement was exactly right for the song. Great backing vocals, too.


Some favourite Waoist Adages:
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#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
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#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
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Hi Ron

“A Forge, A Waitress, and A Jukebox Song,” feels like I've stumbling onto a story that I didn’t know I needed to hear.

The song paints a slice-of-life scene inside a working-class bar, focusing on two weary characters—a blue-collar worker and a woman seeking escape. Their interaction is grounded in realism and emotional subtlety. The recurring refrain about the crowded, loud bar underscores the sense of isolation within noise and chaos, while the “song on the jukebox” cleverly mirrors the characters’ unspoken loneliness. I suspect that many of us can relate to this synopsis.

Production-wise, everything just fits like a nicely crafted piece of music carried by good vocals, both main and backing vox.✔️🆗

As promised, there are no robot servants or tales of dementia here—just good, honest, blue-collar angst.

I like this song, It's a delightfully human slice of life, proving that you only need great apes—not AI—to write simple stories about guys who definitely need to work on their table manners.🙄

Another excellent thought provoking song from Team Davis. 👍

Izzy.

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Very different! And very cool.

Good vocal, and I especially like the BGV's. Nice to hear you playing too, short but sweet wink Excellent mix as per usual.

Good one, Ron, I enjoy your music.

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Originally Posted by SpaceDog
Ron,

Nice work. I always like a good story song.

THANKS, Mike!

Originally Posted by rsdean
Ron,

This is an absolutely great song. Love the lyrics, your delivery and the excellent mix.

A new favorite for me!

AWESOME!

Bob

THANK YOU, Bob! The lyrics on this one remind me of one of your very cool vignettes transposed to maybe a factory town. Sure this is happening everywhere though. smile


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Wow, very cool man! Has an R.E.M. vibe, especially in the lyrics. Great job. Love the instrumentation and the build and the mix.

Awesome.


Note on my posts: I listen to these wonderful and varied forum songs for pure enjoyment as part of my daily “radio,” in large chunks, while I am out and about. Then I post all my thoughts later, not on the spot. As I do not think the forum is a place for competitiveness, I will shy away from any critiques from now on. I come here for peace and enjoyment only and have no ego invested. Thank you.

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Unusual but entirely catchy. If I knew more about music I could probably give you more helpful feedback, pointing out the things/parts that really worked as many of our more musician-ee friends do. I can say that I really admire how you work magic around difficult words/phrases. Seems you give the story priority over ease of fitting in the chord structure, but somehow it always, always works and just sounds cool. I hope that makes sense.

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Great song, Ron! My listening highlight is the section at 2:00 ‘She brought him something on a plate’ - those BVs!

I’ve seen you write before about your brother’s material - this listen made me wonder … how do you choose your next song? Does your brother specify? Do you spin the roulette wheel, or do you re-read and choose one that jumps out? I’m in admiration for anyone that can take the lyrics first path and craft the music to suit.
Great song!
Andrew

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Firstly, we love open mixes like this.

Very, very good vocals and the ah’s came in at such a perfect time in the fine lyric
We were transported inside that bar with the sights, sounds and even smells! 😆

The band and your standout guitar work are great.
That background steel was very nice.

Enjoyed it!

J&B

PS:Anyone know what "The bar was crowded..." section should be called?
We're calling it a "pre-chorus," but it shows up between verses, too, so...curious minds want to know.

We’ve used that a lot and always referred to it as a refrain.


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Originally Posted by rayc
Pretty cool writing, arrangement & performances.
The cadence of "And they were all getting rowdy" bothered me a little bit...but not much as there were plenty of other things to focus on.

THANKS, Ray! Well, you've once again singled out the line I'm proudest of as a point of bother. Ha! Guess that's just my burden to carry, and carry it I will. Know my phrasing is often eccentric. I like to imagine it's what sets me apart...for better or sometimes worse. But I'm not complaining (really!) and am glad you found other aspects of the song to your liking.

Very much appreciate the listen. Your reviews always sound from the heart, and I'm grateful you took the time. smile

Last edited by DC Ron; 10/28/25 04:13 PM.

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