Hi Janne, Pat and Ray,

Well, what a different reaction this song got! I knew it was a bit different from what I'd said before, but the reactions were almost as varied as the comments on that violinist in my song...
But thanks for that!

Originally Posted by jannesan
Excellent! This is your Sgt. Pepper song, mysterious spiritual journey to enlightenment with clever instrumentation. Different but logical and bold step up, feels like master thesis in songwriting - you have shown your best and received the top grade.
I enjoyed the use of string instruments and the congas, you are master class in arranging songs - your songs always hold on until the end. Your voice is really the serene lake in the middle of these confusing times.
Thanks for sharing, I look forward to your new and wild experiments in your rebuilt studio smile

Janne

Hi Janne, my Sgt Pepper! What a great line. You got me close to blushing...
And all the other things you said were also so nice and friendly. But about the studio... Heavy stuff, man! I'm not yet half way. But the sad story is that there is nothing much special about it. Just a room for recording my and other vocals... But it's a bit bigger. I doubt if you will hear much difference, but I do hope it does ;-)

Originally Posted by Pat Marr
Hello Hans! I like to listen to a song thoughtfully, then read other peoples' comments before sharing my own thoughts... that way I don't just mimic what's already been said. I want to start by saying that your voice sounds like somebody famous, but I can't remember who.

Your choruses are labeled in a way that is reminiscent of the stages of grief. Was that intended? As such, the lyrics are really interesting in their structure and content. I'm guessing the title and busy arrangement choices were based on the chorus labeled "confusion". All of this makes sense to me, and I see it as a well-planned approach to communicating a state of confusion. That's how I interpret it, anyway. If that's what you intended, then "mission accomplished"

I think the main qualifier of song writing success is whether or not you meet your goals. Whether or not anybody else likes the song is up to them, and totally out of our control. I can say that the more I listen to this song and read your lyrics, the more I find it to be fascinating and masterful in its execution. Good job. You took a risk by doing something different, but it paid off.

Hi Pat, Janice and Budd used to call me John (Lennon). I never heard a similance between mine and his voice. But hat I can tell you about your first line :-)
The labeling of the chorusses were a new idea I had, so yes, it was intended and ha ha, that made the mission accomplished!
And then about your last lines; thank you so much for your statement. I'm really touched!

Originally Posted by rayc
It's a good song Hans.
Personally I'd suggest sitting on it for a while then rethinking some of the phrasing BUT as it is the song works and the confusion is evident in the arrangement.

Hi Ray, thanks for your comment on this song. Regarding the lyrics, they weren't written in Australian, but in English, with a little help from chatGPT to avoid grammatical errors.
But I can't help it if you still think they aren't good enough. But I liked singing it! Did you like the song?

Have a nice day, everyone,
Hans

Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130