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Ha! ...I'll even ignore the WTF-is-the-drum-doing ending!  ... 👍 David, caught me on the drums at the end. I manipulated the ending in the DAW and thought I cut-and-pasted the basic drum pattern, but instead cut-and-pasted a fill, so it does sound a bit out of touch. Which it is. And so am I, I guess.  Another good catch!
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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I can visualize the entire scene with your excellent storytelling. Good chorus. And as I have come to expect from you, excellent BGVs. THANKS, Scott! Yeah, love how the lyrics (not mine) imply details and backstories that the listener can fill in to tell a story much fuller than the words alone. I still shake my head sometimes at the power of the stuff I get to work with. Glad you liked the tune!
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Ron, this is a great song. Super backing tracks. Your vocal was very strong. Loved those lyrics. Really great drums.
Great mix.
Loved it. Thank you, Mario, glad you liked it! Hi Ron,
What a truly lovely song! You sing it beautifully, have a really good voice (haven't I said that before?), and you tells a strong story. It's a song that leaves you with a smile on your face, and a little sad too.
Powerful, fun lines about the Tower of Babel and that busy café. Great idea!
Enjoyed this song too, Ron. Like all your songs, I mean.
Best regards,
Hans Hans, so glad you liked it. Sad tunes that bring a smile are the best (to me). THANKS for the listen and the nice review!
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Very good song and nice vocals. Nice story too. As far as I'm concerned the "the bar was crowded" part is part of the verse. That is... I hear it as a verse, written like this: He put his tools into the box Looked at the wall with all the clocks Threw his hardhat behind the seat Then went to get something to eat The bar was crowded And the music was loud And they were all getting rowdy But... this is just the opinion of a simple Dutch girl  Anne-Marie THANKS, Anne-Marie. Story songs are the best. Like your "part of the verse" structure. Not sold that you're just "a simple Dutch girl" though. Ha! Ron (& R.W.)
Really like your bed of drums&bass. And the steel "strings" to sweeten...
Nice "break".
I like how the vocals are processed. They sit perfectly to tell this story.
Cool bgvs. Nice Tight harmony!
Y'all are true originals.
There is something about this that reminds me of Paul Simon (if you mixed a little Elvis Costello into Paul) - a similar originality...
A good musical experience. Thanks for that...
fj THANKS, Floyd! As a teen, Paul Simon was one of my songwriting heroes, and a few years later, so was Elvis. We're very happy to be anywhere in the same zip code as those two musically, even if far fetched. Glad you enjoyed the song!
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Hi Ron. I thoroughly enjoyed this. You and your brother certainly are a songwriting powerhouse!. As others have mentioned, the title really engages a person's imagination. It made me wonder what the song was going to be about. I often read the lyrics to songs before I listen. With this one, however, I didn't want to spoil the effect of the title and its meaning. I'm glad I chose that approach. I did not anticipate this story line at all. Your music, performance and production along with your brother's lyrics kept me fully engaged throughout Loved it! --Noel P.S. Regarding those repeated lines... As J&B and Alan have noted, this is called a refrain. And as Anne-Marie has said, it's usually attached to a verse somewhere. It's a term that comes from poetry and it's easy to find information about it on the internet. In songwriting, it is a lyric technique that has been used by many famous composers in many famous songs. Somewhere Over The Rainbow has a refrain at the beginning of each A-section. In this case, the refrain doubles as the title and hook. A couple of famous songs that come to mind as I'm typing this that use a refrain at the end of each section are Dream Lover and Close To You. I've actually used variations of the "Close To You" approach to lyric writing in my own songs a number of times. The basic principle of Close To You is that each A-section follows a similar pattern to the one shown below. "Close To You" by Burt Bacharach and Hal David
Lyric format in each A-section
verse information line 1
verse information line 2
refrain line 1
refrain line 2
refrain line 3 Personally, I've found it to be a very productive way to write lyrics while minimising the angst caused by writing lyrics. By keeping the refrain constant in each of the three A-sections, only 6 lines of verse lyrics are needed to complete all three A-sections. By adding an extra 4 lines for the B (bridge, middle 8) section, a complete song can be written with 10 different lines of lyrics! I like this (not counting the refrain) It's a technique that I often use when I write lyrics without any instrument present. My song Summer Moon used this approach. You'll be able to see the words on Soundcloud. I used a 2-line refrain. This technique let me write the lyrics for this song while I was in hospital getting over complications caused by prostate cancer back in 2018. Wow, Noel, THANK YOU for the very detailed response and examples on my innocent little question. All this makes perfect sense to me. My brother's "lyrics" were provided to me as "poems" for many, many years before I realized they were lyrics, or could be. I've since learned he knows more about formal poetry than I ever will, and I wouldn't be surprised if his use of "bridge" was just to bring it down to my level. But you've brought me back up, so...THANKS again! Am also really pleased you did not read the lyrics in advance. Personal bias, but I always enjoyed discovering lyrics while listening, and never liked reading them in advance myself. Nice to have as a check though!
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Hey Ron,
This is the first of your songs I've heard, so I don't know if it's an indication of a recurring style or unique to this song. I like it! It has a Tom Petty feel to my ear. It certainly isn't a cookie cutter tune... very uniquely crafted and interesting! Your mix is very clear and cleverly assembled. Your use of realtracks is very well done and I like your vocals... all in all I'd call this a home run. It's one those that makes me want to keep listening over and over. THANKS, Pat! Some listeners have commented that we have a signature sound, but I honestly couldn't describe it. I LOVE the Tom Petty comparison though! Thanks for sharing your impressions. It's always informative to get some new ears involved.
Last edited by DC Ron; 11/09/25 03:34 PM.
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Ron,
This is a wonderful song with a great story.
The song's structure is a bit complex, but I don't mind it at all.
Your vocals are also fantastic and fit this song perfectly.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.
Best regards.
Shigeki Adachi
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Ron,
This is a wonderful song with a great story.
The song's structure is a bit complex, but I don't mind it at all.
Your vocals are also fantastic and fit this song perfectly.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.
Best regards.
Shigeki Adachi Thanks, Shigeki. Always a thrill when a tune crosses continents and languages but still makes a connection.
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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This one just about got by me. Very cool song Ron. Excellent vocal and lyric. Loved the backtrack and production. Well done..
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