Hi Joe!
This is a very likeable song and one that many can relate to, so right out of the blocks you have a song with great appeal. I like your melody on top of a familiar chord progression, and then venturing into a different progression on ‘Subie has been a good partner …’ to give the song good variation.

Your lyrics also tell a good story that the listener will follow and look forward to the happy ending. Sometimes, the lyrics are a little busy and you can be heard tripping over the syllables - maybe replace words here and there with others with less syllables, or remove words altogether. e.g. ‘I drove it home with a smile on my face, thinking maybe I’ll buy one like this someday’ or remove ‘thinking’ and keep ‘maybe’.

If you’re open to it, I have some mixing and arranging suggestions …
  • Start off with a simple ‘core’ band than add (or switch in/out) other band members as the song progresses
  • Check that the guitar on the right is playing in time with the drums - sometimes it felt slightly out of time, but this was also complicated but the busyness of the lyrics.
  • Check that tracks have their own space in the mix - I try not to have instruments with similar busyness or frequency range in the same left or right space
  • If one track of the song is busy, have other track(s) less busy e.g. keys playing held chords that only change with each chord change - I find this also works to create a verse or bridge with variation from everything else


I understand what it’s like to have worked on a song and then receive suggestions - so carry these forward into your next song if they help.

Overall, a VERY likeable song, and not a one-hit wonder - I’ve listened to several of your other songs (you’re prolific or have been doing this for a long time) and you have a great knack for finding novel topics and making them humorous or relatable. Looking forward to more posts from you to the forum!
Andrew

Regards,
Andrew D
Adelaide, Sth Aust
Soundcloud: https://on.soundcloud.com/SQE4btVvNVkLq74e9
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@andrewoftheantipodes