Hi David.

I really enjoyed listening. Your production notes are extremely thorough and very informative. I always find it a pleasure to listen to your work and discover the journey that you took to get to the final product. You have a very extensive knowledge across a great deal of areas. Similar to what you said about AGRASCL, I also sometimes begin a song by finding a style that I like and using ideas from a chord progression for the demo of that style. In fact, with the song I'm currently working on, I did exactly that.

Your lyrics were great. Because you mentioned about rhyming 'on' with 'on', I want to let you know that that whole sequence of lyrics that you've labeled "chorus" sat really comfortably with me.
Originally Posted by dcuny
look past the pain, you'll see it
right after the rain, believe it
life goes on
keep holding on
you're gonna
see a new day
In this sequence, you have 'pain' and 'rain' rhyming as well as 'see it' and believe it'. Since these rhymes happen in quick succession, it's actually creates a good aural effect when you get to "life goes on, keep holding on". No obvious end rhyme is needed. The sonic connection of the repeated "on" works well. It sets up the last phrase "you're gonna see a new day" really nicely. Honestly, you don't need to change a thing. That said, if you wanted to create a further sonic connection, you could add "bold" before "new day". This would work as it links back to "holding".

As I said at the start, I really enjoyed listening smile
--Noel

MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2026