Originally Posted by WaoBand
This is a beautiful song and the lyrics are excellent. Wonderful imagery.

Thanks, Chay! I do feel a little stupid, as it took me a while to appreciate the full depth of the lyrics. The imagery is quite nice and oddly relatable (to me).

Originally Posted by Birchwood
Hi Ron,
Well, I think all the compliments above are well deserved. You have a unique way of singing, with little pauses between the lines and a very beautiful pronunciation of the words. The melody is beautiful, the lyrics are fantastic, as is your voice. I do agree with Dave, you use more reverb than usual. Not bad at all, but be careful...

You asked if we could reflect on that bridge together. The first time I heard the song, I looked up in surprise. That's where your bridge begins. That means something unexpected happened (for me). I think that's where your struggle begins. It's the lyrics. Not the content, but too many (complicated) words in too short a time. That gave that bridge something awkward.
I listened to the song a few more times. Then it sounded more normal. I got used to it. But I'm curious if you recognize whether this could be it.
Hans

Thank you, Hans. Yes, the "artificial/beneficial" couplet, and the embedded internal rhyme of "environment" with the previous lines' "shin splints/suspense" is what crossed me up. I always try to give the internal rhymes a bit of space, but had trouble here because there was SO much else going on. I'm mostly at peace with the decisions I made here. But not completely. smile

Glad you enjoyed the tune!

Last edited by DC Ron; 4 hours ago.
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)