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Songwriting
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Joined: Feb 2026
Posts: 4
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2026
Posts: 4 |
Hi — I’d like to test whether the meaning of my lyrics comes through without any context.
Could you answer three things:
What do you think the song is about?
What 3 keywords/themes do you take from it?
Which single line points most clearly to the core message?
Here are the lyrics:
Verse 1:
Thin prints on stone, fresh paste, a biting sting.
The same tight lines, enough to make them cling.
Prove it! Show it! Know it!
Dogs start to howl in bursts along the street.
An omen in the gutter. Cold, on repeat.
Repair! Be fair! Declare!
They raise their voices, one blunt, common hymn.
Shoulder to shoulder, each mouth signs a pseudonym.
Chorus:
I am the forge where hatred learns its name.
Call to carnage
Pick an enemy
Crown the foe
I am the forge where hatred learns its name.
Call to carnage
Verse 2:
He didn’t sing; his lips stayed thin and still.
Their breath went sharp; the air turned raw and chill.
Found him! Round him! Crown him!
A finger lifts, sudden as a flare of fear.
They form a procession; the rite draws him near.
File in! Fall in! Lock in!
Straps bite on shoulders; boots keep time on steel.
By dusk they move as one, no face, no feel.
Chorus:
I am the forge where hatred learns its name.
Call to carnage
Pick an enemy
Crown the foe
I am the forge where hatred learns its name.
Call to carnage
Verse 3:
At first light, boots find flesh; the stones take stain.
They drag the bodies past the torn-off, rattling chain.
Gut them! Split them! Kill them!
They haul them to the altar; parts skid on the floor.
A seal is pressed in blood; it burns in the core.
Engrave! Deprave! repave!
No faces left, just pieces in the guttered street.
By dusk the flies arrive; the stink turns thick and sweet.
Chorus:
I am the forge where hatred learns its name.
Call to carnage
Pick an enemy
Crown the foe
I am the forge where hatred learns its name.
Call to carnage
Outro
You heard the bell. I am the forge where hatred learns its name.
I dressed a rumor in regalia, and you marched it into flame.
I gave you one clean target, a face to carry blame,
and every oath you swore to “truth” was simply forged the same.
Now look at what you made: the ribs, the ruins, the stain.
I harvest what comes after: the numb, obedient plain.
No grief. No questions. Only hush where mercy used to be.
Call to carnage fades to nothing, then you hand the nothing back to me.
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Songwriting
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,676
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,676 |
Kleven71,
Welcome! This is an unusual first post to a software forum, but here goes...
1. No ideas what the lyrics are about. Something bad.
2. Keywords: Carnage, carnage, carnage
3. I am the forge...
Don't know if this is any help. There are a LOT of lyrics, and they are very parabolic in approaching whatever the topic is.
But for many genres, like Metal, this doesn't matter a lot.
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Songwriting
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,857
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Joined: Apr 2009
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Could you answer three things:
What do you think the song is about?
What 3 keywords/themes do you take from it?
Which single line points most clearly to the core message? 1. No clue 2. No clue 3. No clue I hate to be negative but it's really dark and confusing to say the least.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Songwriting
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Joined: Feb 2026
Posts: 4
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OP
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Thx for your time. The lyriks is for grindcore.
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Songwriting
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Joined: Feb 2026
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OP
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The lyrics are for a grindcore song. It’s simply about how power can govern through fear and enemy images. The song is more about mechanisms than about what is right or wrong. The lyrics and the music should ideally have the effect that you distance yourself.
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Songwriting
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Disclaimer: As a non-native speaker, I probably don't get all the details between the lines. For me, the overall mood of the song is somewhat reminiscent of the metal genre, with battle chants and stuff. Some phrases are cool, but many (e.g. "Thin prints on stone, fresh paste, a biting sting. The same tight lines, enough to make them cling") make absolutely no sense to me and read like something ChatGPT could have created. Someone who desperately takes anything that rhymes. Even if it's just  metal lyrics, I wouldn't write short, often incoherent phrases. I'd try to tell a (short) story in sentences that are related to each other. Less is more.
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Songwriting
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Joined: Feb 2026
Posts: 4
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OP
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Thx for your time. The "Thin prints on stone, fresh paste, a biting sting. The same tight lines, enough to make them cling" is my way to try to tell about propaganda. It is about posters hanging on the Wall. Each verse in the song have a tema. 1. Is the seduction, 2. Is the buildup and 3. Is the kulmination.
Perhaps I should try to make it more clear. I am trying to describe it through images and not to direct, while I am trying to keep the dark tone.
Once more thx for your time and your feedback.
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Songwriting
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Posts: 10,857
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The "Thin prints on stone, fresh paste, a biting sting. The same tight lines, enough to make them cling" is my way to try to tell about propaganda. It is about posters hanging on the Wall
Perhaps I should try to make it more clear. In a million years, I would never have guessed that is what you are talking about. Absolutely yes, you should clarify. Help the listener understand.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Songwriting
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I wouldn't use "biting sting" as these are two different things and whilst "biting" can be an adverb, sort of, it doesn't really sit well with sting. The combination, sorry, lacks bite.
"each mouth signs a pseudonym. "...sings maybe? This line needs attention too.
Last edited by rayc; 02/17/26 06:12 PM.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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