Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread
Print Thread
Go To
User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2025
Posts: 99
Enthusiast
OP Offline
Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2025
Posts: 99
https://www.johnwalradt.com/music/songs/brains4bible-master_aug16.mp3

This satirical song isn't for everyone for sure. After years of churches and bars, I haven't stepped into either for years and never will again. Both are the same, the only difference are the drinks they serve. Eventually I'll put it on my "Pressing the Buttons" album.

All instruments are from Band in a Box. I typed in Paul Simon's "Loves Me Like a Rock" to choose the instrument style. Vocals are mine that I sent into Audimee which converted them into the raspy screwball sounding vocal of "Ralph."

Style is _TRIUMPH.STY (Triumph Breezy Jazz Pop Swing)
RealTracks in style: 2664:Bass, Electric, RockNRollBritSwing2Feel Sw 140
RealTracks in style: 2814:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm GospelSwingMike Sw 140
RealTracks in style: 3402:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm SwingHardFingerStrum Sw 140
RealTracks in song: 3537:Vocals, Background GospelCoolLow2 Sw16 075
RealDrums in style:RockabillySlowSwing^01-a: Brushes, No Kick , b: Brushes, Kick

I'M GOING TO TRADE MY BRAINS FOR A BIBLE Words and music by John Walradt

I'm gonna trade my brains for a Bible
And head off to the promised land
I'm gonna be some kind of religious kook
In an all-star Christian band
I'll be strict and narrow minded
Pretend everything is grand
I'm gonna trade my brains for a Bible
And head off to the promised land!

I'll find me a Christian woman
Who will love me in the name of the lord
She better keep herself fit and trim
Or she's headed out the door!
She'll cook and clean and give me sex
Worship everything that I do
'Cause woman was made to serve a man
And that's in the Bible, too!

I'll believe every word I'm spoon fed
I wont have a rational thought of my own
'Cause I've got the right equipment
That guarantees my heavenly home
I'll be a prophet making a profit
When I grab that microphone
I'll tell you you're going straight to hell
Because your soul is still on loan!

I'm gonna mount my platinum records
It will be a shrine unto the Lord
I'll buy me that great big pickup truck
Sittin' high on the showroom floor
I'm gonna live the abundant life
That the good book promised me
Just look at them big juicy sirloin tips
The purty waitress brings to me!

Yep, I'm gonna trade my brains for a Bible
And head off to the promised land
I'm gonna be some kind of religious kook
In an all-star Christian band
I'll be strict and narrow minded
Pretend everything is grand
I'm gonna trade my brains for a Bible
And head off to the promised land!

Yes, I'm gonna trade my brains for a Bible
And head off to the promised land!

User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,745
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,745
Well, you managed to check off every non-PC box with this one.

Sounds good.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
User Showcase
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 20,456
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 20,456
Hi John.

These lyrics must have taken you ages to write. They very cleverly put together. I love the up-tempo swing feel. Your whole presentation was great. I imagine that this song could polarize people but in many ways, that's one of the things music does best; it forces people to form and to reassess opinions and, where needed, to adjust points view.

--Noel


MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2026
User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,394
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,394
John, one thing music can do is to bring out emotions and since this is not even close to being PC I'm sure you'll get some negative feedback.
I liked the vocal FX, backing band, and mix.


Love is grand.
Divorce is twenty grand!

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Go To

Link Copied to Clipboard
ChatPG

Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.

ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.

PG Music News
PowerTracks Pro 2026 for Windows is Here!

PowerTracks 2026 is here—bringing powerful new enhancements designed to make your production workflow faster, smoother, and more intuitive than ever.

The enhanced Mixer now shows Track Type and Instrument icons for instant track recognition, while a new grid option simplifies editing views. Non-floating windows adopt a modern title bar style, replacing the legacy blue bar.

The Master Volume is now applied at the end of the audio chain for consistent levels and full-signal master effects.

Tablature now includes a “Save bends when saving XML” option for improved compatibility with PG Music tools. Plus, you can instantly match all track heights with a simple Ctrl-release after resizing, and Add2 chords from MGU/SGU files are now fully supported... and more!

Get started today—first-time packages start at just $49.

Already using PowerTracks Pro Audio? Upgrade for as little as $29 and enjoy the latest improvements!

Order now!

Band-in-a-Box 2026 for Windows Special Offers End Tomorrow (January 15th, 2026) at 11:59 PM PST!

Time really is running out! Save up to 50% on Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® upgrades and receive a FREE Bonus PAK—only when you order by 11:59 PM PST on Thursday, January 15, 2026!

We've added many major new features and new content in a redesigned Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®!

Version 2026 introduces a modernized GUI redesign across the program, with updated toolbars, refreshed windows, smoother workflows, and a new Dark Mode option. There’s also a new side toolbar for quicker access to commonly used windows, and the new Multi-View feature lets you arrange multiple windows as layered panels without overlap, making it easier to customize your workspace.

Another exciting new addition is the new AI-Notes feature, which can transcribe polyphonic audio into MIDI. You can view the results in notation or play them back as MIDI, and choose whether to process an entire track or focus on specific parts like drums, bass, guitars/piano, or vocals. There's over 100 new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®.

There's an amazing collection of new content too, including 202 RealTracks, new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 5, two RealDrums Stems sets, XPro Styles PAK 10, Xtra Styles PAK 21, and much more!

Upgrade your Band-in-a-Box for Windows to save up to 50% on most Band-in-a-Box® 2026 upgrade packages!

Plus, when you order your Band-in-a-Box® 2026 upgrade during our special, you'll receive a Free Bonus PAK of exciting new add-ons.

If you need any help deciding which package is the best option for you, just let us know. We are here to help!

Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® Special Offers Extended Until January 15, 2026!

Good news! You still have time to upgrade to the latest version of Band-in-a-Box® for Windows® and save. Our Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® special now runs through January 15, 2025!

We've packed Band-in-a-Box® 2026 with major new features, enhancements, and an incredible lineup of new content! The program now sports a sleek, modern GUI redesign across the entire interface, including updated toolbars, refreshed windows, smoother workflows, a new dark mode option, and more. The brand-new side toolbar provides quicker access to key windows, while the new Multi-View feature lets you arrange multiple windows as layered panels without overlap, creating a flexible, clutter-free workspace. We have an amazing new “AI-Notes” feature. This transcribes polyphonic audio into MIDI so you can view it in notation or play it back as MIDI. You can process an entire track (all pitched instruments and drums) or focus on individual parts like drums, bass, guitars/piano, or vocals. There's an amazing collection of new content too, including 202 RealTracks, new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 5, two RealDrums Stems sets, XPro Styles PAK 10, Xtra Styles PAK 21, and much more!

There are over 100 new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®.

When you order purchase Band-in-a-Box® 2026 before 11:59 PM PST on January 15th, you'll also receive a Free Bonus PAK packed with exciting new add-ons.

Upgrade to Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® today! Check out the Band-in-a-Box® packages page for all the purchase options available.

Happy New Year!

Thank you for being part of the Band-in-a-Box® community.

Wishing you and yours a very happy 2026—Happy New Year from all of us at PG Music!

Season's Greetings!

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy holiday season—thanks for being part of our community!

The office will be closed for Christmas Day, but we will be back on Boxing Day (Dec 26th) at 6:00am PST.

Team PG

Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: The Newly Designed Piano Roll Window

In this video, we explore the updated Piano Roll, complete with a modernized look and exciting new features. You’ll see new filtering options that make it easy to focus on specific note groups, smoother and more intuitive note entry and editing, and enhanced options for zooming, looping, and more.

Watch the video.

You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!

Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: AI Stems & Notes - split polyphonic audio into instruments and transcribe

This video demonstrates how to use the new AI-Notes feature together with the AI-Stems splitter, allowing you to select an audio file and have it separated into individual stems while transcribing each one to its own MIDI track. AI-Notes converts polyphonic audio—either full mixes or individual instruments—into MIDI that you can view in notation or play back instantly.

Watch the video.

You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!

Forum Statistics
Forums57
Topics85,880
Posts797,278
Members39,975
Most Online25,754
Jan 24th, 2025
Newest Members
JMDESILE, holger6810, zxkarass, SteveCanada, Marcel29
39,975 Registered Users
Top Posters(30 Days)
MarioD 180
Noel96 152
DC Ron 118
rsdean 112
Today's Birthdays
Biglad
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5