Hi Bob.

This is a very good Pop tune which surprised me a wee bit as it branches away from your usual Jazz/Blues style. I think it has potential and deserves a remix upgrade.
Your fiverr friend did an admirable job but YOU could sing this even better!
One of the advantages of singing it yourself is the discovery of "singability", meaning which words and syllables effortlessly roll off the tongue. If you find that you are "pitchy" when you sing it is probably the fault of the words.

Sorry to rant but I just love your vocals.

Oh, and here are some suggestions for that pesky line :

It lit the dark and made me care
It opened doors I didn't know were there
It made the whole world stop and stare
It drew me close and held me there
It said my name without a sound
It burned a mark I couldn't hide
It broke the walls I kept inside
It whispered truth I couldn't bear
It left a space I longed to share


regards
Izzy.