Originally Posted by Ezekiel's Storm
You chorus line is a gem. I can hear people sing along with it at a concert. Love the powerpop sound. My suggestions for the end of the first verse after "That you looked back at me," --Made me feel like a millionaire or--With a beauty extraordinarily rare (too many syllables that could be pared down)or combining your two ideas, --It was such, such an inviting dare

Thanks, Scott, for such a good review! I can't believe how much help I've received on the lyric in question, thank you everyone for your contributions. "Inviting dare" is definitely on my short list, Scott! Thanks for that!


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