Hey Rob,
I agree with Noel. "It's a beautifully relaxed feel that does justice to the lyrics." And I really like what the lyrics are saying.

Since you said you are redoing the lead vocal, (which btw, I'm not as critical of as some.) grin. My suggestion is to change the harmony part. Especially, the harmony note on "night" which is conflicting with your lead and making it sound off. For example, on "night" singing unison would sound better OR you could go higher there with the harmony. I'd experiment with some different harmonies for something sweeter that compliments the lead vocal more.