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#279386 - 01/11/15 10:25 AM [User Showcase] Who I Once Was
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
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Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
For the last ten years I was the primary caregiver for both my parents. They both lived long and productive lives to the age of 96. This song is the culmination of many conversations I had with them about what they were feeling as they aged. Thanks to all that take the time to listen and sorry if it causes any tears but that comes with the territory. Tom

My fingerpicked Acoustic guitar and leads
RealTracks in song: 1759:Bass, Electric, Pop16ths Ev 085
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RealTracks in style: 1595:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Pop8thsSteady Ev 065
RealTracks in song: ~2051:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking CountryBrent Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 1725:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CountryBalladJohn Ev 065
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http://tommyadamsmusic.com/music

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Who I Once Was


Got lost on my way to the grocery

Anyone they might have done the same

Now Joey wants to take away the car keys

And i can’t figure out who to blame


My days are filled with simple little problems

How to do what I have always done

I sit and stare directly at my oatmeal

Maybe it’s a lack of oxygen


i don’t know where I am

And I hope you understand
i don’t want to stay here anymore

well i’m not who i once was

but i’m not giving up

That is one thing I know for sure


i don’t know where I am

And I hope you understand

i don’t want to live here anymore

well i’m not who i once was

but i’m not giving up

That is one thing I know for sure


All my life I’ve tried to have a good time

Lately those seem all like yesterdays

its hard to look forward when I’m always looking back

even those memories fade away



My days are filled with simple little problems

How to do what I have always done

maybe i should get up and start walking

Down the road into the setting sun


i don’t know who I am

And I hope you understand

i don’t want to stay here anymore

well i’m not who i once was

but i’m not giving up

That is one thing I know for sure


got lost on my way to the grocery

Anyone they might have done the same


©2014 Thomas Adams


Edited by tommyad (01/11/15 02:30 PM)

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#279404 - 01/11/15 12:10 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7989
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Pat Marr Online   content
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Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7989
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Heartbreaking topic, Tommy, and you sure did address it accurately and honestly.
I've been down that road with my parents, both of which are gone now. I see a lot of the early warning signs in myself already... which might not be as alarming if I didn't already know how the book ends.

My hat's off to you and anyone else who is primary caregiver to a parent or anyone else who needs constant care. Y'all are saints in my book.

Your songs are always good, and normally I would take some time to talk about the craft and technique of how you fashioned an idea into musical form... but this time all I can think of is the heart of a man who would do for his parents what you did. That's worth a lot more than being able to write a good song.

You did both.

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#279409 - 01/11/15 01:02 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10744
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10744
Loc: GA USA
I don't think we can add to the sensitivity of Pat's description. We too are
experiencing the same with our 90 and 93 year old mothers. Being able
to put these experiences into words and music is something that I can
barely imagine given the sadness involved. I hope this will bring some
comfort to family caregivers who may hear it and realize that they are
not alone.

And of course it is a great production, a beautiful write and the vocal
completely captures the feeling.

J&B
_________________________
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#279416 - 01/11/15 01:43 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1718
Loc: New Zealand
RichMac Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1718
Loc: New Zealand
Beautiful and tastefully stated reality. The whole song.
This line rings a bell for me. "Hard to look forward when I'm always lookin back".
Great ending. Cheers.
_________________________
https://soundcloud.com/tuigorge



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#279422 - 01/11/15 01:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9502
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9502
Loc: Florida
Tom,

Pat stated it nicely. Bud, too... I could not do better than that. All the usual accolades apply, and yet, don't seem to really matter...

This is very special. And you are a very special person.

floyd

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#279444 - 01/11/15 03:45 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2247
F.M.M. Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2247
hi tommyad beautiful write everything just right great example of paying it forward very realistic thanks for sharing eric
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AMD (TM) 8150 3.60 GHz Eight Core Processor 64 bit windows 10 pro 64 bit os. sound card delta 1010 pci card 500 ssd drive 3 other drives guitars 1968 les Paul Custom and Cavin ae 185 Guitar boss Gt-100 pedal Carvin SRS Studio reference series

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#279454 - 01/11/15 04:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3275
Loc: York, England
ROG Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3275
Loc: York, England
Beautifully done, Tommy.

Too sad for words.

ROG.

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#279467 - 01/11/15 04:58 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: Janice & Bud]
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Pat Marr
Heartbreaking topic, Tommy, and you sure did address it accurately and honestly.
I've been down that road with my parents, both of which are gone now. I see a lot of the early warning signs in myself already... which might not be as alarming if I didn't already know how the book ends.

My hat's off to you and anyone else who is primary caregiver to a parent or anyone else who needs constant care. Y'all are saints in my book.

Your songs are always good, and normally I would take some time to talk about the craft and technique of how you fashioned an idea into musical form... but this time all I can think of is the heart of a man who would do for his parents what you did. That's worth a lot more than being able to write a good song.

You did both.





Pat, the caretaking and songwriting are much the same in my eyes. I have learned that the reward is in the experience. Thanks for all the great things you say about the songs. Both mine and others. Best to ya, Tom
Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
I don't think we can add to the sensitivity of Pat's description. We too are
experiencing the same with our 90 and 93 year old mothers. Being able
to put these experiences into words and music is something that I can
barely imagine given the sadness involved. I hope this will bring some
comfort to family caregivers who may hear it and realize that they are
not alone.

And of course it is a great production, a beautiful write and the vocal
completely captures the feeling.

J&B

Having been aware of y'alls current situation, you know you were on my mind during the writing of this. Thanks for your care and support and know that you have mine. Tom

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#279475 - 01/11/15 05:34 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4327
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4327
Loc: Sacramento, California
It's all been said, a lot more eloquently than I could.

Excellent guitar solo.
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#279511 - 01/11/15 10:47 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
WOW!!! What a beautiful song. Amazing write and equally great delivery. The vocal and guitar are emotionally incredible. This is what songwriting is all about!! I'll be back for more listens tomorrow. Wonderful! Take care. Greg

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#279517 - 01/12/15 12:58 AM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: Greg Johnson]
Registered: 11/15/14
Posts: 313
Loc: Belgium
FredM Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 11/15/14
Posts: 313
Loc: Belgium
Tommy,
What a nice song. In a sensitive way you tell about a hard reality. I smiled as I listened, seeing the story of my elders in your song. That, for a songwriter is my greatest compliment.
This is wonderful.
G
F

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#279546 - 01/12/15 05:08 AM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6473
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6473
Loc: South Carolina
A very powerful write and testament to your overall extraordinary musical skills. Compelling images in your lyrics with the right feel and vibe from the backing instrumentation. Although I did not have a deep emotional connection to the story because my parents both died young, 46 and 57, I was able to connect from what I saw other families faced with aging parents. This is a good song.

Charlie
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#279561 - 01/12/15 06:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7792
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7792
Just amazing.

Excellent in so many ways.... from the insightful lyrical word-smithing... to the instrumentation to the superbly recorded guitar to the clear and emotion filled vocal delivery.

It's sad when we have to see our parents in a situation such as this. I lost my mom just about a year ago now. She was well into her mid 90's. She never lost her sharp wit until just a few days before she passed. We all were so fortunate in that respect. I remember a month before she passed, we were setting there discussing something that happened back when my sister and I were kids. Mom chimed in... "Oh No, no, no.... that's not how it happened.... " then she proceeded to set the record straight, and she was absolutely right.

This song is such a poignant, and well written look at the issues facing all of us as we age.... and complete our life's journey. And it's done with finesse and grace.

One of your best.
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Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#279565 - 01/12/15 06:38 AM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4896
Loc: New York
rsdean Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4896
Loc: New York
Tom,

So heartfelt and relatable... Beautiful.

Bob

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#279567 - 01/12/15 06:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
Joe Ramsay Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
Great to hear some lyrics that probe the depth of our human experience. You don't hear songs like this at the Junos anymore. eek Wonderfully done!

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#279580 - 01/12/15 07:55 AM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: F.M.M.]
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: RichMac
Beautiful and tastefully stated reality. The whole song.
This line rings a bell for me. "Hard to look forward when I'm always lookin back".
Great ending. Cheers.

Richard, Thanks for listening and commenting. The key word here is reality. My Dad really did get lost on the way to the grocery. Thanks again. Tom

Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Tom,

Pat stated it nicely. Bud, too... I could not do better than that. All the usual accolades apply, and yet, don't seem to really matter...

This is very special. And you are a very special person.

floyd
Out of the many nice things you have said about my songs, this stands at top. Thank you floyd. Tom

Originally Posted By: F.M.M.
hi tommyad beautiful write everything just right great example of paying it forward very realistic thanks for sharing eric


Eric, At times I selfishly thought I was under a great burden, but I later came to understand that it was a great blessing. Even if the karma thing isn't real, it's still a really good idea. Thanks, Tom

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#279587 - 01/12/15 08:42 AM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 04/20/10
Posts: 5019
Loc: Florida
90 dB Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/20/10
Posts: 5019
Loc: Florida
Tommy-

Beautiful song. Right from the heart.


Regards,

Bob

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#279598 - 01/12/15 09:09 AM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Tom,
Originally Posted By: floyd jane

Pat stated it nicely. Bud, too... I could not do better than that. All the usual accolades apply, and yet, don't seem to really matter...


I'm touched. What a beautiful song.

Guenter
_________________________
http://www.21d.de/
Latest Song: What You Desire

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#279638 - 01/12/15 12:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4117
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
dani48 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4117
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
Hi, Tommy !:))

Yes, it´s all been said
and I can only join in on
the superlatives ! This is
really a very touching song
so sincere so real ! The
time and situation you are
describing is slowly closing
in on us too I believe, but....
as you say we are not afraid....

Regards
Dani

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#279639 - 01/12/15 12:17 PM [User Showcase] Re: Who I Once Was [Re: tommyad]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10744
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10744
Loc: GA USA
Originally Posted By: F.M.M.
hi tommyad beautiful write everything just right great example of paying it forward very realistic thanks for sharing eric


Eric, At times I selfishly thought I was under a great burden, but I later came to understand that it was a great blessing. Even if the karma thing isn't real, it's still a really good idea. Thanks, Tom[/quote]

Man, that is a great place to land after what you went through. And, yes, it is really a good idea. I've spent the bulk of my adult life trying to always remember that.
_________________________
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