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#292005 - 04/17/15 02:18 PM
[User Showcase]
Dear Muriel
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Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
Apprentice
Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
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Hello everyone. This number is my latest foray into compositions with lyrics - a lifetime total of 5 now, woohoo!. It's about a lake I spent a lot of time at when I was young which, unfortunately, has almost dried up. I Know, I'm just a bundle of laughs lately.  "Dear Muriel" uses a style called _CBLDPNO.STY EvenCountryBallad w.Piano[120RS], which consists of the following Real Tracks: RD: NASHVILLEEVEN8^2-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat :Brian Fullen RT521: Bass, Electric, Pop Syncopated Ev 136 , Dow Tomlin RT2021: Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CountryBalladJohn Ev 120 , John Jarvis RT405: Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 120 , Jason Roller RT1756: Pedal Steel, Rhythm Pop8ths Ev 110 , Robby Turner The solo was done using a Soloist track called Pedal Steel, Soloist CountryPaul EV 120. The harmonies were done with my aging but trusty PSR-3000 keyboard's vocal harmonizer. Dear Muriel Dear Muriel Lazy Sundays by the shore Are cherished memories of mine Friends and loved ones bein' together Sharin' the best of times One sight I never hoped That I would live to see Was nature's beauty disappearin' Right in front of me Muriel dear Muriel oh why have you gone Did you not like the weather or is it what's been goin' on Well I miss you sweet Muriel For you my heart does yearn Oh someday dear Muriel I hope you will return Sunlight dancin' on the waves Gulls soarin' without a care All God's creatures livin' together In water and in the air Water long since gone away No home for bird nor fish The trees are marching across the sand Please Muriel hear my wish Thanks for listening, Dan
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#292010 - 04/17/15 02:31 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: big741]
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Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3968
Loc: The Netherlands
Veteran
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3968
Loc: The Netherlands
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Hi Dan,
A really nice country song, Dan.
The vocals might be a bit louder in the choruses, they sound good enough!
Rob and Anne-Marie
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#292013 - 04/17/15 02:38 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: RnAM]
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Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
Apprentice
Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
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Hi Dan,
A really nice country song, Dan.
The vocals might be a bit louder in the choruses, they sound good enough!
Rob and Anne-Marie Thanks. You know, I had two different mixes of this number where the biggest difference was the level of the chorus vocals. I ultimately decided I liked the quieter vocal better. Now I'm not so sure... lol Mixing is a challenge for me, to be sure. Thanks for listening, Dan
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#292014 - 04/17/15 02:57 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: big741]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10682
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10682
Loc: Florida
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Dan,
I'd say you've got a pretty good start for a guy who has only done 5 lyrics. LOL... Your chorus is quite clever...
The mix is good - and a good grouping of instruments. The little bit of drop in volume at the chorus is "noticeable" - just slightly - and probably not necessary....
floyd
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#292020 - 04/17/15 03:15 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: big741]
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 18015
Loc: Australia
Veteran
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 18015
Loc: Australia
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Hi Dan, You have an incredibly well developed sense of melody. I found the musical journey absolutely delightful. I also congratulate you on your fifth lyric! I only began writing lyrics a dozen or so years ago (after decades of playing) so I can understand where you're at. The best thing that happened to me on the lyric front was that I went to a Pat Pattison seminar. I've never looked back since then. If you're interested in developing your lyric skills further, Pat has a course at... https://www.coursera.org/course/songwriting...that starts on April 21. The cost is $free  I highly recommend it. All the best, Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS
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#292113 - 04/18/15 08:48 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: big741]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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very well done. you have a fluid cadence with the lyric and melody. and the lyrics roll off the tongue and are not forced. and your use of realtracs is top notch
much enjoyed
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#292119 - 04/18/15 09:41 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: big741]
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Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Veteran
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
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Hi Dan,
congrats on your number five.
A nice country song.
Enjoyed the listen.
Guenter
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#292124 - 04/18/15 09:59 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: big741]
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Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3719
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3719
Loc: Florida
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Dan, If this is #5, I can't wait to hear what comes next. You have a great start on this songwriting path. Nice melody and very well put together. I enjoyed it. Tom
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#292149 - 04/18/15 01:15 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: big741]
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6736
Loc: Davis, CA
Veteran
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6736
Loc: Davis, CA
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Very sweet!! One thing songwriters overlook sometimes in their obsession with analysis is the simple question: How does this song feel to me? Well, this one feels really good!! It is sweet, pleasant, and just darn listenable. Great job!! Take care. Greg
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#292167 - 04/18/15 03:36 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: big741]
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Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
Apprentice
Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
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Dan,
I'd say you've got a pretty good start for a guy who has only done 5 lyrics. LOL... Your chorus is quite clever...
The mix is good - and a good grouping of instruments. The little bit of drop in volume at the chorus is "noticeable" - just slightly - and probably not necessary....
floyd Thanks, floyd. Your kind words are much appreciated. It is just my fifth lyric, and I'm not sure I should really count one of my previous songs, as it was a song about toilet paper. Thanks for your comment re: the chorus, too. I wasn't really sure how to approach this subject, but one night just as I was falling asleep it occurred to me that Muriel was also a person's name as well as the name of a lake (Duh!), and maybe I could approach it from that angle. I had kind of a late night after having this thought, as I got out of bed and wrote the basic tune. Hi Dan, You have an incredibly well developed sense of melody. I found the musical journey absolutely delightful. I also congratulate you on your fifth lyric! I only began writing lyrics a dozen or so years ago (after decades of playing) so I can understand where you're at. The best thing that happened to me on the lyric front was that I went to a Pat Pattison seminar. I've never looked back since then. If you're interested in developing your lyric skills further, Pat has a course at... https://www.coursera.org/course/songwriting...that starts on April 21. The cost is $free smile I highly recommend it. All the best, Noel Thank you very much, Noel. I do believe I'm blushing a bit now.  I think some of my melodic sense comes from being a jazz fan/student. Jazz is all about composing instant melodies on the spot. Or it could be just dumb luck. Thanks for the tip about the lyrics course. It definitely looks interesting to me, but so far it looks like the summer is going to a busy time for me with not much time for music. If it's still available in the fall I am most definitely interested. The link is now in my bookmarks. very well done. you have a fluid cadence with the lyric and melody. and the lyrics roll off the tongue and are not forced. and your use of realtracs is top notch
much enjoyed
Thanks very much, gruverider. I am having a blast with the Realtracks. They are great fun, indeed! Hi Dan,
congrats on your number five.
A nice country song.
Enjoyed the listen.
Guenter Glad you enjoyed it, Guenter. Thanks! Dan, If this is #5, I can't wait to hear what comes next. You have a great start on this songwriting path. Nice melody and very well put together. I enjoyed it. Tom Thanks, Tom. I've done some composing in the past, but not really anything that wasn't an instrumental. This lyrics thing is harder than it looks, but I'm finding it quite rewarding. Very sweet!! One thing songwriters overlook sometimes in their obsession with analysis is the simple question: How does this song feel to me? Well, this one feels really good!! It is sweet, pleasant, and just darn listenable. Great job!! Take care. Greg
Thank you very much, Greg. Thanks for listening, Dan
Edited by big741 (04/18/15 03:43 PM)
_________________________
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#292174 - 04/18/15 04:26 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Dear Muriel
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12534
Loc: GA USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12534
Loc: GA USA
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very well done. you have a fluid cadence with the lyric and melody. and the lyrics roll off the tongue and are not forced... That was our first thought. Very fluid lyric, melody and mix. And the RT's support it all well. Fifth effort writing? Man, you have long fun road in front of you! J&B
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