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#292005 - 04/17/15 02:18 PM [User Showcase] Dear Muriel
Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
big741 Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
Hello everyone.

This number is my latest foray into compositions with lyrics - a lifetime total of 5 now, woohoo!. It's about a lake I spent a lot of time at when I was young which, unfortunately, has almost dried up. I Know, I'm just a bundle of laughs lately. grin

"Dear Muriel" uses a style called _CBLDPNO.STY EvenCountryBallad w.Piano[120RS], which consists of the following Real Tracks:

RD: NASHVILLEEVEN8^2-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat :Brian Fullen
RT521: Bass, Electric, Pop Syncopated Ev 136 , Dow Tomlin
RT2021: Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CountryBalladJohn Ev 120 , John Jarvis
RT405: Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 120 , Jason Roller
RT1756: Pedal Steel, Rhythm Pop8ths Ev 110 , Robby Turner
The solo was done using a Soloist track called Pedal Steel, Soloist CountryPaul EV 120.

The harmonies were done with my aging but trusty PSR-3000 keyboard's vocal harmonizer.

Dear Muriel

Dear Muriel

Lazy Sundays by the shore
Are cherished memories of mine
Friends and loved ones bein' together
Sharin' the best of times
One sight I never hoped
That I would live to see
Was nature's beauty disappearin'
Right in front of me

Muriel dear Muriel oh why have you gone
Did you not like the weather or is it what's been goin' on
Well I miss you sweet Muriel
For you my heart does yearn
Oh someday dear Muriel I hope you will return

Sunlight dancin' on the waves
Gulls soarin' without a care
All God's creatures livin' together
In water and in the air
Water long since gone away
No home for bird nor fish
The trees are marching across the sand
Please Muriel hear my wish

Thanks for listening,
Dan
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#292010 - 04/17/15 02:31 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: big741]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
Hi Dan,
A really nice country song, Dan.
The vocals might be a bit louder in the choruses, they sound good enough!

Rob and Anne-Marie
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#292013 - 04/17/15 02:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
big741 Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
Originally Posted By: R & AM
Hi Dan,
A really nice country song, Dan.
The vocals might be a bit louder in the choruses, they sound good enough!

Rob and Anne-Marie


Thanks.

You know, I had two different mixes of this number where the biggest difference was the level of the chorus vocals. I ultimately decided I liked the quieter vocal better. Now I'm not so sure... lol

Mixing is a challenge for me, to be sure.

Thanks for listening,
Dan
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#292014 - 04/17/15 02:57 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: big741]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9483
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9483
Loc: Florida
Dan,

I'd say you've got a pretty good start for a guy who has only done 5 lyrics. LOL... Your chorus is quite clever...

The mix is good - and a good grouping of instruments. The little bit of drop in volume at the chorus is "noticeable" - just slightly - and probably not necessary....

floyd

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#292020 - 04/17/15 03:15 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: big741]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17372
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17372
Loc: Australia
Hi Dan,

You have an incredibly well developed sense of melody. I found the musical journey absolutely delightful.

I also congratulate you on your fifth lyric! I only began writing lyrics a dozen or so years ago (after decades of playing) so I can understand where you're at. The best thing that happened to me on the lyric front was that I went to a Pat Pattison seminar. I've never looked back since then.

If you're interested in developing your lyric skills further, Pat has a course at...

https://www.coursera.org/course/songwriting

...that starts on April 21. The cost is $free smile

I highly recommend it.

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
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#292113 - 04/18/15 08:48 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: big741]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
very well done. you have a fluid cadence with the lyric and melody. and the lyrics roll off the tongue and are not forced. and your use of realtracs is top notch

much enjoyed

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#292119 - 04/18/15 09:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: big741]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Dan,

congrats on your number five.
A nice country song.
Enjoyed the listen.

Guenter
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Latest Song: What You Desire

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#292124 - 04/18/15 09:59 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: big741]
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
Dan, If this is #5, I can't wait to hear what comes next. You have a great start on this songwriting path. Nice melody and very well put together. I enjoyed it. Tom

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#292149 - 04/18/15 01:15 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: big741]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
Very sweet!! One thing songwriters overlook sometimes in their obsession with analysis is the simple question: How does this song feel to me? Well, this one feels really good!! It is sweet, pleasant, and just darn listenable. Great job!! Take care. Greg

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#292167 - 04/18/15 03:36 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: big741]
Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
big741 Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
Quote:
Dan,

I'd say you've got a pretty good start for a guy who has only done 5 lyrics. LOL... Your chorus is quite clever...

The mix is good - and a good grouping of instruments. The little bit of drop in volume at the chorus is "noticeable" - just slightly - and probably not necessary....

floyd


Thanks, floyd. Your kind words are much appreciated. It is just my fifth lyric, and I'm not sure I should really count one of my previous songs, as it was a song about toilet paper. grin

Thanks for your comment re: the chorus, too. I wasn't really sure how to approach this subject, but one night just as I was falling asleep it occurred to me that Muriel was also a person's name as well as the name of a lake (Duh!), and maybe I could approach it from that angle. I had kind of a late night after having this thought, as I got out of bed and wrote the basic tune.

Quote:
Hi Dan,

You have an incredibly well developed sense of melody. I found the musical journey absolutely delightful.

I also congratulate you on your fifth lyric! I only began writing lyrics a dozen or so years ago (after decades of playing) so I can understand where you're at. The best thing that happened to me on the lyric front was that I went to a Pat Pattison seminar. I've never looked back since then.

If you're interested in developing your lyric skills further, Pat has a course at...

https://www.coursera.org/course/songwriting

...that starts on April 21. The cost is $free smile

I highly recommend it.

All the best,
Noel


Thank you very much, Noel. I do believe I'm blushing a bit now. blush
I think some of my melodic sense comes from being a jazz fan/student. Jazz is all about composing instant melodies on the spot. Or it could be just dumb luck. smile

Thanks for the tip about the lyrics course. It definitely looks interesting to me, but so far it looks like the summer is going to a busy time for me with not much time for music. If it's still available in the fall I am most definitely interested. The link is now in my bookmarks.

Quote:
very well done. you have a fluid cadence with the lyric and melody. and the lyrics roll off the tongue and are not forced. and your use of realtracs is top notch

much enjoyed

Thanks very much, gruverider. I am having a blast with the Realtracks. They are great fun, indeed!

Quote:
Hi Dan,

congrats on your number five.
A nice country song.
Enjoyed the listen.

Guenter


Glad you enjoyed it, Guenter. Thanks!

Quote:
Dan, If this is #5, I can't wait to hear what comes next. You have a great start on this songwriting path. Nice melody and very well put together. I enjoyed it. Tom


Thanks, Tom. I've done some composing in the past, but not really anything that wasn't an instrumental. This lyrics thing is harder than it looks, but I'm finding it quite rewarding.

Quote:
Very sweet!! One thing songwriters overlook sometimes in their obsession with analysis is the simple question: How does this song feel to me? Well, this one feels really good!! It is sweet, pleasant, and just darn listenable. Great job!! Take care. Greg


Thank you very much, Greg.

Thanks for listening,
Dan


Edited by big741 (04/18/15 03:43 PM)
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#292174 - 04/18/15 04:26 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dear Muriel [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10725
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10725
Loc: GA USA
Originally Posted By: gruverider
very well done. you have a fluid cadence with the lyric and melody. and the lyrics roll off the tongue and are not forced...


That was our first thought. Very fluid
lyric, melody and mix. And the RT's
support it all well. Fifth effort writing?
Man, you have long fun road in front
of you!

J&B
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J&B YouTube
J&B Website

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