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#297244 - 05/29/15 06:37 AM [User Showcase] Between The Pawnshop And That Woman
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6941
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6941
Loc: Florida
Every songwriter ought to have a pawnshop song.
And, it ought to be Country as can be... smile

BETWEEN THE PAWNSHOP AND THAT WOMAN

there's a pawnshop down in jacksonville
that owns about half my guns
the title to my boat, my fishing gear
and the rights to my first born son
they've got my skil saw and my socket set
and that black and decker drill
i have my cookouts down at the pawnshop 'cause
that's where i keep my grill

i spend a lot of time down at a-1 pawn
since my wife used my clothes to decorate the lawn
i may be only guessin', but i got the firm impression
she wanted to see me gone
between the pawnshop and that woman
i'm giving it all away
between the pawnshop and that woman
i'll take the pawnshop any day

that woman kept my 4x4
the house and my mobile phone
the pawnshop's got so much of everything else
it's starting to feel like home
one day i'll get back on my feet
clear these pawnshop selves
take everything back except that woman
i'll leave her for someone else

that woman cleaned out the back accounts
so i'm hocking what's left for cash
she was one of those things in life
you can't afford if you have to ask
between the pawnshop and that woman
i'm giving it all away
between the pawnshop and that woman
i'll take the pawnshop any day

the pawnshop's been like family
i've got a cot and a place to stay
so if your woman puts you down, come on around
i'll buzz you through the gate
between the pawnshop and that woman
i'm giving it all away
between the pawnshop and that woman
i'll take the pawnshop any day


The Band...
RealTracks in style: ~539:Bass, Electric, Pop Sw 120
RealTracks in song: 625:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Rascal Sw 075
RealTracks in song: ~959:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm CountryBoogieA-B Sw 140
RealTracks in song: ~975:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm CountrySwingCleanMuted Sw 140
RealTracks in style: ~1117:Fiddle, Background CountryBoogie Sw 140
RealTracks in song: 617:Pedal Steel, Background Shuffle Sw 136
RealTracks in song: 2165:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm NewOrleansSwinginPop Sw 130
MIDI SuperTracks in song: 2248:Piano, Soloist CountryShuffleJohn Sw 120
RealTracks in song: 1283:Guitar, Electric, Soloist CountryShuffleBrent Sw 120
RealTracks in song: 1279:Guitar, Electric, Soloist CountryBoogieBrent Sw 140
RealDrums in style: NashvilleShuffle^01-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride


Comments encouraged. Have fun. Have at it.

floyd
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125+ BIAB Songs

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#297249 - 05/29/15 06:57 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3073
Loc: wales
gibson Offline
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Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3073
Loc: wales
floyd,

Hahaha, been there......almost!

That is good country as it should be.
Quote:
i may be only guessin', but i got the firm impression
what a superb line!

Nice mix of RTs.
Enjoyed that a lot.

Another floyd winner

Alyn
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My showcase songs


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#297252 - 05/29/15 07:10 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 6333
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 6333
That's a true country song.... clever lyrical crafting, with more truth than should be the case.


This line gave a big smile: she was one of those things in life you can't afford if you have to ask... haha... I've known a few like that

Yep, that one made me smile and that's what it's all about.
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#297257 - 05/29/15 07:27 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2868
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
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Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2868
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Floyd,

again a masterpiece. Everything fits. (And there
are a lot of RTs that had to be puzzled together).
Very entertaining lyrics. I learned two new words
(cot and skill saw). And your vocals delivery
is spot on.
You see me toe tapping while I'm writing this.
Most enjoyable.

Guenter
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#297261 - 05/29/15 07:56 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 2988
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 2988
Loc: Florida
floyd, Once again you have displayed clever wordsmithing. A very fun and enjoyable listen. Great editing . The mix sounds good and the vocal is on point. Anyone who has spent as much time as I have in pawnshops knows that there is much joy in discovering good deals and much sadness in the stories that surround them. Very interesting places indeed for a number of different reasons. Another keeper in your catalogue of good uns. Tom

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#297284 - 05/29/15 09:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
PatrickH Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
Floyd,

I wish I'd known. I just bought the skill saw. You can use it anytime LOL.

Fun song, love the backgrounds and the nice breaks/kicks towards the end.


Edited by nobilis (05/29/15 09:42 AM)

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#297289 - 05/29/15 10:06 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/20/15
Posts: 87
Loc: FRANCE
PRADON Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 05/20/15
Posts: 87
Loc: FRANCE
Hello Floyd,

In principle I am not the biggest fan of Country music, but I noted some very interesting things in your song : first of all, the orchestration, many instruments and a mix which is very well done ; One other thing that interests me is the voices in the background, is it your voice with reverb or samples?

Have a good day
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#297316 - 05/29/15 01:30 PM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 4750
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 4750
Loc: Davis, CA
Deliciously humorous!! Crafty and fun. Everything this type of song should be. When I saw the title, I knew it'd be great but I wasn't sure what type of song it was. The last line of the chorus delivers the humorous blow after a great setup. The master is back in town!! Great work Floyd! Take care. Greg

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#297331 - 05/29/15 03:43 PM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 38
Loc: Iowa
JPeden73 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 38
Loc: Iowa
Count me among the impressed as well. I'm always amazed by the unexpected lyrics you come up with. Not sure how you do it, but I like it.
Thanks for sharing this.

-Jeff

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#297332 - 05/29/15 03:45 PM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/08/11
Posts: 147
Curt Young Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 05/08/11
Posts: 147
Thanks for another great one. A lot of fun, and top notch production all the way around.

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#297345 - 05/29/15 05:05 PM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
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Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
That's quite a list of realtracks used here!
Man, how do you get these mixes so crispy clear, uhm, yes you already explained once...
We are trying to do the same in our recordings, but haven't managed to get this crystal clear audio quality yet.
Anyway, another country song very well done!

Rob
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#297380 - 05/29/15 07:40 PM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 977
Loc: Maryland
SpaceDog Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 977
Loc: Maryland
Floyd,
Superb arrangement and performance. Top notch all the way.
SD

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#297408 - 05/29/15 11:41 PM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2629
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2629
Loc: Sacramento, California
As always, a great song.

But the arrangement and mix were simply stunning - lots of variety, and the licks fit in like they were played just for the part, but never crowded or blocked the lyric.

Amazing.
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My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#297422 - 05/30/15 06:13 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: Guitarhacker]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6941
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6941
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: gibson
floyd,

Hahaha, been there......almost!

That is good country as it should be.
Quote:
i may be only guessin', but i got the firm impression
what a superb line!

Nice mix of RTs.
Enjoyed that a lot.

Another floyd winner

Alyn

HA! - like I said, Alyn...every songwriter needs pawnshop song! thanks for your support!...


Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
That's a true country song.... clever lyrical crafting, with more truth than should be the case.


This line gave a big smile: she was one of those things in life you can't afford if you have to ask... haha... I've known a few like that

Yep, that one made me smile and that's what it's all about.

Thanks, Herb...
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125+ BIAB Songs

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#297434 - 05/30/15 06:52 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 2683
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
Rob4580 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 2683
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
LOL as soon as I read the title I new this would be great.
Great lyrics and very catchy.
Also great job on the mixing.
Love it.
Rob.

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#297444 - 05/30/15 07:58 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14883
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14883
Loc: Australia
...click image

floyd,

What a great musical journey! A terrific drive through the countryside of down-to-earth humour. Scenery, laughs and smiles all the way. And a toe-tapping beat to keep the feet actively involved as well. All wrapped up in a first class arrangement, top notch performance and outstanding production. Excellent stuff!

After reading Herb's comment, “That's a true country song.... clever lyrical crafting, with more truth than should be the case”, I nodded my head in agreement. He summed up the lyrics well.

When I first saw the song's title in the forum, I sat looking at it and thinking about it for around 15 minutes. It's one of the most intriguing titles I've ever seen. I was fascinated and I found myself wondering how anyone could use such a title in a song. What theme links a 'pawnshop' to 'that woman'? While vivid images appeared when I thought about either 'pawnshop' or 'that woman', I could not, for the life of me, think of a link between the two that had sufficient potential to create a whole song lyric. I'm envious of your ability to find a song in the most unusual and unexpected places.

I can't remember which song it was but, a while back, I recall commenting on how you used the rhyme scheme found in limericks to complement the emotional journey of a serious song. In “Pawnshop”, you've chosen a different path. You've taken the rhyme technique of a limerick (AABBA) and used it to enhance the effect of comedy.

Quote:
i spend a lot of time down at a-1 pawn
since my wife used my clothes to decorate the lawn
i may be only guessin'
but i got the firm impression
she wanted to see me gone

While it's a little different in that the meter of the first two lines scans as one foot longer than those found in the traditional limericks, the last three phrases parallel the limerick's design.

  • After I heard you sing the above sequence of phrases, I burst out laughing. It wasn't until later when I was looking through the lyrics that I saw the format and realised how you made me laugh out loud. That was a very clever touch. If it's possible to be a 'Le Cordon Bleu' songwriter, you are definitely one.

Like with your song's title, I was also intrigued by the song's form. It's a very effective variation of AAA. The song travels along as ABABAB where the B-section is lyrically different each time and tagged with a refrain. The third A-section is an instrumental section. In the greater scheme of song formats, it's possible to group A and B together and simply call the pair a single section. This means that the song is essentially three song-sections: thus my comparison to AAA. I have to say, your use of the ABABAB format gives quite a different feel from the standard form where the B-section of a song is the chorus. I like it.

Having the third A-section as an instrumental is a terrific use of the 'Rule Of Two' that Steve Seskin introduced me to a few years ago. I've mentioned this a couple of times before in other songs. Using standard 'Applied Rule-Of-Two 101', after you've gone through the AB sequence twice, you go somewhere different before coming back to the third B section. It worked for me!

  • For those who read this and are not familiar with what Seskin means, his theory is that decades of popular songs and centuries of classical music have demonstrated that if one wants to achieve musical contrast without creating boredom for the listener, it's necessary to play a sequence and then to repeat it once. This establishes a feeling of familiarity. Then, after the familiar has been created, the power of contrast kicks in when the music goes somewhere different. Following the contrasting section, the music then returns to the familiar and the familiar section is more strongly emphasised because of the contrasting section. Seskin says that listeners generally feel a sense of satisfaction from this structure.
  • If anyone is interested in finding out more about the 'Rule Of Two', here's Mozart to help explain what I mean.

Quote:
This is the music performance...



...and this is some public domain sheet music that I've annotated. Simply left-click on the link and the pdf should open in a web page.


By hovering the mouse pointer over the comment boxes (#1) in the pdf, what I've written (#2) becomes visible.



In relation to the first page of music only, if I put the various sections of Rondo Alla Turca into letters, I get the layout pattern...

A A B A' B A' C

(where A' = A-section with slight variation)

That is, by the end of page 1 of the music...

First the A-section is repeated twice (establishing familiarity); then the music moves into a B-section (contrast). The B-section then leads back to the A-section (return to the familiar) with a slight variation to accommodate an ending. This sequence of BA' is then repeated again and establishes the larger pattern of B+A' as the new familiar section. The playing then enters into a C-section (a new contrast).

More succinctly...

  • A-section twice
  • The B-section is heard as contrast (Rule Of Two)
  • The BA'-sections play twice
  • C-section starts and is heard as a new contrast (Rule Of Two)

This pattern is one of a number of ways that Steve Seskin's 'Rule Of Two' appears in music.

Quote:
Out of interest, and if my analysis is correct, the full performance of Rondo Alla Turca maps the following sequence of musical sections.

A A B A' B A' C C D D E D' E D' C C

...change key...

A A B A' B A' C' C' Ending


Lastly, I liked the way that you ended each song section with a refrain that finished with an open, long vowel sound. The “-ay” sound felt comfortable. If my memory serves me correctly, I'm pretty sure that I've read somewhere that Oscar Hammerstein II (of Rodgers and Hammerstein, “Sound Of Music”, etc.) liked to end the lyric of his song sections on an open vowel wherever he could, too. Seems like you're in good company.

Quote:
In an attempt to verify my above comment, I've just checked out the ultimate syllable of the songs in the "Sound Of Music". Out of 11 songs, 7 of them ended with open vowel sounds, 1 ended with an open vowel sound terminated with 'm' (i.e. "dream" where the 'm' can be musically sustained), and three songs ended with a hard consonant 'd'.

It seems as though my memory wasn't playing tricks on me this time around. That's a relief smile


  • Once again, thank you for letting me work my way through your songs. I really enjoy trying to apply what I've picked up from books and seminars. It's through these analyses that I learn such a lot. In so many ways, your works are a terrific resource for understanding the finer points of song craftsmanship.

All in all… an excellent creation, an excellent presentation and a brilliant production. It seems to me that you have definitely discovered how to output the quality of a professional studio. This really doesn't sound like BIAB at all.

All the best,
Noel


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#297464 - 05/30/15 10:30 AM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/20/10
Posts: 4840
Loc: Florida
90 dB Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/20/10
Posts: 4840
Loc: Florida
I don't know about any "rule of two", but I like the song. If it were me,though, I would have left that woman at the pawn shop. grin


Regards,

Bob

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#297504 - 05/30/15 02:01 PM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/04/10
Posts: 1761
Loc: Midwest
HearToLearn Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/04/10
Posts: 1761
Loc: Midwest
That was really well written. I wish I could give you some advice, but you know what you are doing!

That was a master class in lyric writing!

Thanks for the share!
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#297511 - 05/30/15 02:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 3672
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
dani48 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 3672
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
Hi,Floyd !

I fully agree with
everyone calling this
tune a masterpiece !
This must be the best
you´ve written (until
your next masterpiece,
that is)!!!!!

Cheers
Dani

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#297530 - 05/30/15 08:05 PM [User Showcase] Re: Between The Pawnshop And That Woman [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 4986
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 4986
Loc: South Carolina
So if it's not your brother in law borrowing your stuff (Given up for Lent), it ends up at the local pawn shop. Good thing you're not a material guy.


Good song, well written, mixed, produced and performed.

I really enjoyed my listen.


Charlie
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