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#303800 - 07/24/15 05:12 AM [User Showcase] Half
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
A half-hearted attempt to write a half-decent song from a half-baked idea.
Took a while to figure out what to name it.


HALF

half the time we laughed together
the other half we cried
half the time i loved her
the other half i tried
halfway through this marriage
something went astray
it took a half-ton pickup
to haul her half away

i stare at half a bottle
half drunk, i'm halfway there
i've half a mind to tell you
i only half-way care
but half this heart is broken
so the other half is too
half the time it seems i'm telling
half-lies, the rest half-truths

it's driving me half crazy
i'm off by half a beat
if i was half the man i thought i was
i'd sweep her off her feet
given half a dozen reasons
on my behalf...her heart might dance
i'd tell her i still love her
if given half a chance


The BAND...
RealTracks in song: 1036:Bass, Electric, NorthernRockBallad Ev 065
MIDI SuperTracks in song: 2231:Piano, Rhythm 80sPopBallad Ev 085
RealTracks in song: ~1676:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking CountryBrent Ev 065
RealTracks in song: ~364:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 065
MIDI SuperTracks in song: 2058:Strings, Rhythm CelticAir Ev 085

Hope you enjoy it.
Comments encouraged.
Half at it.

floyd

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#303803 - 07/24/15 05:42 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/20/10
Posts: 5136
Loc: Florida
90 dB Offline
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Registered: 04/20/10
Posts: 5136
Loc: Florida
Accolades? They would fall short. This is great stuff. I had to listen on the old Sennheisers, and this is absolutely gorgeous. Aural nirvana.

You hopeless old romantic, you. grin

Thanks.


Regards,

Bob

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#303827 - 07/24/15 09:11 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7145
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7145
Loc: South Carolina
I had halfway convinced myself to give my analysis of this song that in my opinion is one of the more successful commercial sounding productions of your recent forum submissions. But then I figured that more than half of the forum members would likely disagree with my thoughts on the subject. Couple that with the fact I am in total agreement with Bob's (90Db) remarks, (at least if Aural nirvana's meaning is a good thing. I did not take time to look up the meaning.)

It is a gorgeous song and pretty accurately describes my first marriage that was cut in half by divorce and remarriage and and at the end of it, when carbon dated, the half life of 17 years matches with the split between the good years and the not so good years. The one child we produced was half the family we planned.

This is an easy song for me to relate to emotionally. If I had given my analysis, you'd see that I'm on the fence, half on/ half off to whether the lyrics would be considered too cliched --- You have a 50-50 chance there but I'm too emotionally attached to the message to give a balanced assessment - This one is an absolute winner with me.

Charlie
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#303829 - 07/24/15 09:16 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17768
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17768
Loc: Australia
floyd,

Wow! This song overflows with emotional sincerity. It seems to me that 'tears in the beer glass' songs are one of your writing strengths. Each one you've posted on the forum has been a real pleasure to listen to. This is no exception.

The lyrics of "Half" are very, very powerful and resonate with believability. When these words are coupled with your outstanding melody, accompaniment, arrangement and vocals, an incredible listen unfolds. My fingers are stumbling over what to type! It's not a situation that they usually find themselves in.

Perhaps I should drive you through my thoughts as I listened...

Firstly, that second chord of the intro really sets the tone for what is to follow. It's such an excellent choice of sonic mood-lighting. Secondly, the two-bar intro made me open my eyes and pay attention because I was anticipating a third bar of strings. Then, when you started singing with the strings backing, Neil Diamond flashed into my mind. The key, the strings, the lyrics, the backing, the vocal delivery, the phrasing all struck me as reminiscent of Diamond. For this reason, when "Half" was done, I went to Youtube and listened to Neil singing "Love On The Rocks", "Hello Again" and "You Don't Bring Flowers" just to confirm that I wasn't hearing things.

All the above being said, what impressed me most about "Half" is that it seems like you've used just about every possible permutation of how the prefix/suffix/word can be used but it never sounds humorous, trite nor overdone. Just wow! How did you do that??? I counted 23 occurrences of 'half'. That's unbelievable. In addition to this, all those perfect rhymes flow so very smoothly and so conversationally. Prosody shines at all times. Upside down and inside out, this is magnificent lyric writing.

Quite honestly, I'm in awe of what you've presented here. This is not an ordinary song by any stretch of the imagination. Everything about it cries out 'professional', 'commercial appeal', 'international hit'. Seriously!

I'm heading back for another listen.

All the best,
Noel


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#303834 - 07/24/15 10:04 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Floyd,

I'm speechless.
Back to another listen.

Guenter
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Latest Song: What You Desire

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#303837 - 07/24/15 10:39 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3622
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3622
Loc: The Netherlands
Hello Floyd,

This is a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics and a cool chord progression, especially at the end.
I would have left out the strings in the beginning (for dynamics's sake), and have them entered at the beginning of the second verse or so.

Rob
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#303847 - 07/24/15 11:16 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3289
Loc: York, England
ROG Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3289
Loc: York, England
Hi Floyd.

What can I say, except exceptional. Beautifully crafted in all respects*.

This is definitely film music. I can see the closing credits rolling as I listen to it.

* Well maybe one thing... I would have faded the bass with the strings on that last chord instead of leaving it to run on. Maybe you did that for a reason which I've missed?

ROG.

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#303860 - 07/24/15 01:15 PM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6571
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6571
Loc: Davis, CA
WOW, WOW, WOW!!! This is absolutely beautiful. There is a cleverness but it enhances instead of obscures the message. Vocal/arrangement/production are tight, clear, and wonderfully emotional. All I can say is .............WOW,WOW,WOW!!! Take care. Greg

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#303869 - 07/24/15 02:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: 90 dB]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: 90 dB
Accolades? They would fall short. This is great stuff. I had to listen on the old Sennheisers, and this is absolutely gorgeous. Aural nirvana.

You hopeless old romantic, you. grin

Thanks.


Regards,

Bob


Bob...that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me... I appreciate that! (I appreciate all the jabs, too). Aural nirvana! HA! I think you scared Charlie with that.... smile

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#303871 - 07/24/15 02:40 PM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1719
Loc: New Zealand
RichMac Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1719
Loc: New Zealand
Hi Floyd. When I first read the lyrics I thought oh yeah half half half not very exciting but when i listened to the song it is beautiful. You bring it very much to life and I think the backing is superb. Another good one. Cheers.
_________________________
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#303875 - 07/24/15 02:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 17389
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 17389
Loc: Hamlin NY
WOW, WOW and WOW!

I wish that I had half of your talent and that's no lie!

This is one outstanding song. You vocal was top notch as always but the lyrics really got to me!

Super song
_________________________
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#303902 - 07/24/15 06:36 PM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/08/11
Posts: 147
Curt Young Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 05/08/11
Posts: 147
I love this one. Lyrics are rock solid and professional.
The arrangement is superb.

Beautiful...

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#303904 - 07/24/15 06:48 PM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4997
Loc: Gulf Coast
Sundance Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4997
Loc: Gulf Coast
Wonderful vocal. With the melody, phrasing and arrangement, this song became a quite beautiful and engaging whole despite all those halves.
_________________________
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I'm moving most of my music off Soundcloud.
Click my Youtube link above to hear my songs.
Thank you.

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#303916 - 07/24/15 09:36 PM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
44kfl Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
Fantastic song, really nice, well done. I wanted it lift at one point, like a different feel of a bridge or something, but that was only me playing along in my head thinking where I would go next.
It's solid, everyone is right. I don't like strings much in things but they give this depth like the movie theme comment indicated.
I also thought of Ronnie Dunn, not comparing or saying that you're doing his "style" I love the guys music and voice, he could power ballad the hell out of this. I hope you know that these are all compliments, please consider me as a writing partner on a project sometime, I would be honored. btw, what's your impression of the new Jason Isbell record, personally I wanted more full band 24 Frames type songs so it's taking awhile to sink in, Speed Trap Town caught my ear.

Kenny

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#303944 - 07/25/15 04:16 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: Charlie Fogle]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: c_fogle
I had halfway convinced myself to give my analysis of this song that in my opinion is one of the more successful commercial sounding productions of your recent forum submissions. But then I figured that more than half of the forum members would likely disagree with my thoughts on the subject. Couple that with the fact I am in total agreement with Bob's (90Db) remarks, (at least if Aural nirvana's meaning is a good thing. I did not take time to look up the meaning.)

It is a gorgeous song and pretty accurately describes my first marriage that was cut in half by divorce and remarriage and and at the end of it, when carbon dated, the half life of 17 years matches with the split between the good years and the not so good years. The one child we produced was half the family we planned.

This is an easy song for me to relate to emotionally. If I had given my analysis, you'd see that I'm on the fence, half on/ half off to whether the lyrics would be considered too cliched --- You have a 50-50 chance there but I'm too emotionally attached to the message to give a balanced assessment - This one is an absolute winner with me.

Charlie



Charlie - I thoroughly enjoyed your review! Thank you...

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#303954 - 07/25/15 05:28 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/13/13
Posts: 827
olemon Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/13/13
Posts: 827
Has to be one of the best - if not 'the' best - of your vocal performances.

As for the song, it's one of those that makes me smile and shake my head in admiration.

Clever and poignant.

'...on my behalf....' Cha-ching!

Standing ovation:)
_________________________
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https://soundcloud.com/scott-h-olson

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#303977 - 07/25/15 07:36 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3495
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3495
Loc: Florida
floyd, I read the lyrics first. I usually don't do that, but like Richard , I said to myself this can't work. Well you've proven me wrong again ( and I hate that ). This is a spectacular tour de force of how songwriting and performance combine to make the sum greater than the parts. It has a New York feel and I am sure many Brill Building writers would have loved to have a piece of it. The mix, your vocal chops and arrangement skills are on fine display here. Another fine creation to add to your long list of artistic creations. Tom

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#303992 - 07/25/15 08:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
big741 Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 188
Loc: Edmonton,Canada
Outstanding work, floyd!


Most enjoyable.

Encore!

Thanks for the music,
Dan
_________________________


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#304064 - 07/25/15 02:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Noel96
floyd,

Wow! This song overflows with emotional sincerity. It seems to me that 'tears in the beer glass' songs are one of your writing strengths. Each one you've posted on the forum has been a real pleasure to listen to. This is no exception.

The lyrics of "Half" are very, very powerful and resonate with believability. When these words are coupled with your outstanding melody, accompaniment, arrangement and vocals, an incredible listen unfolds. My fingers are stumbling over what to type! It's not a situation that they usually find themselves in.

Perhaps I should drive you through my thoughts as I listened...

Firstly, that second chord of the intro really sets the tone for what is to follow. It's such an excellent choice of sonic mood-lighting. Secondly, the two-bar intro made me open my eyes and pay attention because I was anticipating a third bar of strings. Then, when you started singing with the strings backing, Neil Diamond flashed into my mind. The key, the strings, the lyrics, the backing, the vocal delivery, the phrasing all struck me as reminiscent of Diamond. For this reason, when "Half" was done, I went to Youtube and listened to Neil singing "Love On The Rocks", "Hello Again" and "You Don't Bring Flowers" just to confirm that I wasn't hearing things.

All the above being said, what impressed me most about "Half" is that it seems like you've used just about every possible permutation of how the prefix/suffix/word can be used but it never sounds humorous, trite nor overdone. Just wow! How did you do that??? I counted 23 occurrences of 'half'. That's unbelievable. In addition to this, all those perfect rhymes flow so very smoothly and so conversationally. Prosody shines at all times. Upside down and inside out, this is magnificent lyric writing.

Quite honestly, I'm in awe of what you've presented here. This is not an ordinary song by any stretch of the imagination. Everything about it cries out 'professional', 'commercial appeal', 'international hit'. Seriously!

I'm heading back for another listen.

All the best,
Noel


Noel - I had a feeling that you might enjoy "the write" on this one. Using a word over in subsequent lines can be a great writing device - I do it often... I wanted to see how far I could take it... Thank you for another delightful review! Now I have to go have a listen to some Neil Diamond (I was actually going for an "older" feel than that - Johnny Mathis doing "I've Grown Accustom To Her Face"... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7izY6dUmTo )

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#304081 - 07/25/15 05:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: Half [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17768
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17768
Loc: Australia
Hi floyd,

I've just had a listen to Johnny Mathis singing "Accustomed To Her Face". It's excellent!

This might sound strange but even though I'm a huge Mathis fan, I've never once bothered to hear him sing this song. If I knew how to kick myself effectively, I would because I'm definitely the loser with that decision! After listening to the Mathis version, I've actually discovered that I like the song!

I'd better explain...

When I was somewhere around 20 years old, I had a non-singing role in a local amateur production of "My Fair Lady" and the person who was Higgins discovered new (and I think he thought "exciting") ways to interpret this song. The memory of that interpretation has stayed with me for a few decades and coloured my appreciation of the music and the lyrics. The consequence is that whenever I stumbled across it on Youtube, etc., I never bothered clicking on it.

Thank you for enlightening me! I can definitely hear the Mathis/Faith influence in "Half".

Also, after I read Tom's comment above about the Brill Building, it occurred to me that Diamond came to popularity via the Brill Building. That could partly explain why I hear the Diamond influence.


Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Using a word over in subsequent lines can be a great writing device - I do it often... I wanted to see how far I could take it...

This is the first time that I have read or heard this songwriting tip. After reading it, it was like a hallway full of doors opened into new and unexplored rooms. I can't believe that, after all your lyrics that I've worked my way through, I didn't pick this up. Thank you for today's lesson. I appreciate this little device and have added it to my lyric-writing toolbox.

Regards,
Noel

P.S. I've just listened again. It's probably about the dozenth time. The more I listen, the more I'm convinced that one of this song's arrangement strengths is the lack of drums. Without them, my brain finds it a challenge to isolate the exact tempo: I hear some sections in a slow 4/4 and other sections at twice the speed. For example, when I first heard the song, I heard a 2-bar intro but now I hear a 4-bar intro sometimes and a 2-bar intro sometimes. I suspect that this tempo-variation effect is a great mood enhancer.


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