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#419956 - 06/30/17 12:52 PM [User Showcase] Dinner For One
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9156
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9156
Loc: Florida
I knew Ginny when I was 23 (-ish).
(I had a bit of a crush on her)
She was about 10 years older (which is a lot when you are 23).
There was always a bit of "sadness" to her...


DINNER FOR ONE

thirty-five is a cruel age
for an unmarried woman
when the years just refuse to slow down
she's grown tired of the quiet
but she's used to the freedom
and there's no suitable partners around
   
   so night after night
   she falls asleep
   on the couch with the tv on
   it gets too hard to make
    a king-sized bed alone
   and why bother with dinner for one

the friday night drinkers
are overweight and balding
and leave their wives at the p.t.a.
the boys on saturday
are barely out of high school
and seldom have anything to say
   
   so night after night
   she falls asleep
   on the couch with the tv on
   it gets too hard to make
    a king-sized bed alone
   and why bother with dinner for one

a fifteen year old dog
a seven year old cat
in opposite corners asleep
she's got work in the morning
she should turn the tv off
but it keeps her from thinking too deeply
   
   so night after night
   she falls asleep
   on the couch with the tv on
   it gets too hard to make
    a king-sized bed alone
   and why bother with dinner for one




The BAND:
RealTracks in style: 366:Bass, Electric, Country Ev 065
RealTracks in song: ~2200:Guitar, Nylon, Background CountryBrent Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 1595:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Pop8thsSteady Ev 065
RealTracks in style: ~368:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 065
RealTracks in song: ~1676:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking CountryBrent Ev 065
RealTracks in song: 1728:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopBalladJohn Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 2335:String Quartet, Rhythm PopHall Ev 085


Comments welcomed.
Hope you like it.

floyd

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#419958 - 06/30/17 02:26 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 7611
Loc: Wauconda, Il.
MusicStudent Offline
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Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 7611
Loc: Wauconda, Il.
FJ - you the man!
_________________________
Dan,
BIAB2021, Dell XPS 8920 Intel Core I7-7700 @ 3.60GHz 16GB RAM
"...My goal is not to create backing tracks for my music, but rather to get more of me in my music."

SoundCloud


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#419959 - 06/30/17 02:30 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2493
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2493
Loc: Victoria, BC
If marriage is something you are striving for in your life, I think 35 would be a hard age for anyone—male or female.

The song definitely reflects that sense of loneliness and desire for a companion effortlessly. Great job.
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember

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#419964 - 06/30/17 03:28 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3145
Loc: York, England
ROG Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3145
Loc: York, England
Hi Floyd.

You really are a masterful storyteller.

I once knew someone who fits that description, with an outward show of confidence and an underlying sadness. Maybe lots of us have met her at sometime.

Before I listened to the track I was intrigued by the end of the waveform on Soundcloud and wondered what you'd been doing there. The ending was worth waiting for.

Another classic in the Floyd style, with professionalism written all the way through.

Cheers, ROG.

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#419969 - 06/30/17 03:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4524
Loc: New York
rsdean Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4524
Loc: New York
Floyd,

So much beauty and tenderness... Outstanding lyric, vocal and production. Loved it.

Bob

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#419970 - 06/30/17 03:45 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4087
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4087
Loc: Sydney Australia
Floyd,

Very effective storytelling wrapped up in a simple but just right backing.
Liked the strings at the end and harmony vocals.
Very nice work all round.
Peter

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#419989 - 06/30/17 09:48 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/09/10
Posts: 658
Loc: Wisconsin
critter Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/09/10
Posts: 658
Loc: Wisconsin
Another gem from the master "FJ", great lyrics and composition.
_________________________
Critter

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#420000 - 07/01/17 12:28 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5480
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5480
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Floyd,

Di and I were contemplating the lyric to this one for a few minutes. We kind of came to an agreement - you are a contemporary Tom T Hall. Writing a simple song that resonates is one of the most difficult tasks a songwriter can attack.

A great song is a great novel in a hundred words or less. As you anxiously anticipate the next page in a thrilling novel, you savor the expectation of the next line of the song. You've written a masterpiece, Floyd. But, this is just one of many.

I can speak from both sides of that fence. As I think you know, I also write novels (3 on Amazon now and three in the works). Every time I sit down to start a new novel, I write a song about it first. Nothing formal or worth posting - just a reference for myself. It's better than an outline and challenges me to to turn 85 words into 85,000 words and say, more or less, the same thing.

The strings at the end of your song were an unexpected but pleasant surprise. And I think I you've captured the dilemma of an unmarried woman of that age. This was a real pleasure to listen to. Thank you.

Alan & Di
_________________________
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#420009 - 07/01/17 05:19 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5673
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5673
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Beautiful heartfelt story in your lyric Floyd. Super vocal and backtrack.

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#420032 - 07/01/17 07:54 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/22/16
Posts: 338
Loc: england
Biglad Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 06/22/16
Posts: 338
Loc: england
pure quality in every way ,great story and production.always love the sound and the depth of the vocals .thank you FJ
_________________________
Os Windows Biab 2018. studio one pro 3 ozone 8 focusrite 214 se electronics Gemini mic

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#420034 - 07/01/17 07:55 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: ROG]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
Originally Posted By: ROG
Hi Floyd.

You really are a masterful storyteller.

I once knew someone who fits that description, with an outward show of confidence and an underlying sadness. Maybe lots of us have met her at sometime.

Before I listened to the track I was intrigued by the end of the waveform on Soundcloud and wondered what you'd been doing there. The ending was worth waiting for.

Another classic in the Floyd style, with professionalism written all the way through.

Cheers, ROG.


Well this kind of wraps it up ;-)
We might add that you are one of the most talented and productive songwriters here on the forum and this song clearly demonstrates that again.

This must be your 120/130+ song?
Cool!

Rob & Anne-Marie
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

RnAM Homepage (completely restyled)
YouTube Channel

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#420065 - 07/01/17 12:48 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: Ember - PG Music]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9156
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9156
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: MusicStudent
FJ - you the man!


Dan! - thanks for stopping by...


Originally Posted By: Ember - PG Music
If marriage is something you are striving for in your life, I think 35 would be a hard age for anyone—male or female.

The song definitely reflects that sense of loneliness and desire for a companion effortlessly. Great job.


Ember - Thanks. I know this is sort of a "dated" perspective - it reflects "the way things were" 40 years ago... it was a different time and things have changed greatly since then... (in good ways and bad)

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#420069 - 07/01/17 01:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
44kfl Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
I love the ending!

didn't wanna forget to mention that

Such a good write, I know that you've mentioned before that

you usually write words first and then add music, sounds like

that's maybe the case here. Your music choices and melodies

never disappoint. I think that's the weakness of most lyrics first

writers, not enough attention put into the rest. I've said this before

but you lay out the blueprint for all of us, the deep background, attention

to little details, I care about your characters.

At first I thought it was too abrupt jumping to the Friday and Saturday night

guys mentioned and thought maybe that you had trimmed some lines out.

I listened again and it works well as her assessment of "what's out there".

We're lucky to have you here, you're like our own "Deacon" and we're

just Reyna waiting for more inspiration.

I use the tv to keep from thinking bout too much a lot.

loved it,

Kenny

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#420117 - 07/02/17 04:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: ROG]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9156
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9156
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: ROG
Hi Floyd.

You really are a masterful storyteller.

I once knew someone who fits that description, with an outward show of confidence and an underlying sadness. Maybe lots of us have met her at sometime.

Before I listened to the track I was intrigued by the end of the waveform on Soundcloud and wondered what you'd been doing there. The ending was worth waiting for.

Another classic in the Floyd style, with professionalism written all the way through.

Cheers, ROG.


ROG - thanks for that... As a songwriter, I was a "story teller" before anything else (later moving to a more "commercial" angle), so it is nice to have that made note of. Glad you found the ending appealing...

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#420158 - 07/02/17 09:21 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 5191
Loc: North Carolina
David Snyder Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 5191
Loc: North Carolina
Floyd,

Another great version of the subtly gut-wrenching, quietly understated reminder that so many human beings as Thoreau said "lead lives of quiet desperation."

I agree with the Tom T. Hall comparison, very apt. I was reminded of that too.

I liked your choice of RTs for this. Well done. Excellent story telling as usual as everyone has said.

Hope you have a party blast for July 4th and write a song about drinking, cussin', hollerin' and screamin' and howling at the moon for pure drunken joy and kissing every pretty girl in town next.

Throw a Telecaster in there too and turn it up to 12.

smile
_________________________
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www.davidsnydermusic.com
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#420164 - 07/02/17 10:27 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7947
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Pat Marr Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7947
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Floyd,

Your long history of home runs makes it difficult to think up new comments! I hope what follows doesn't sound like I'm trying too hard! ;-)

As always, I like the way you take everyday elements (ie. dinner and making the bed... topics with which any audience can identify...) and spin them into pathos, making them uniquely applicable to the person in your story. The net result of this approach is that the audience gets a glimpse into a daily routine they've never lived themselves. That's interesting.

And when it comes to pathos, nothing says it quite like strings. I thought your decision to add an extended passage of "strings only" was the perfect segue between the story and the listener's reaction to it. I imagine it to be the functional equivalent of the way one's thoughts wind down as they lay on the couch, drifting off to whatever is on TV, after eating a frozen entree... alone.

On a completely different note:
I thought Ember's opening comment was interesting: "IF marriage is something you are striving for..."

More and more, I think marriage is not as compelling to either gender as it once was (but for differing reasons.)

I'll go so far as to say that in some circles this song would generate kickback because it relies on certain stereotypes that are no longer universally accepted (and in some cases, strongly resisted.)

It's becoming harder to write stories and songs that resonate with a wide audience. Society is not only divided politically, but also in terms of social norms... and that really intersects with the spectrum of topics that are typically addressed by music as a form of social commentary.

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#420230 - 07/03/17 03:12 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/26/16
Posts: 265
Loc: San Jose, CA
Marty Sorensen Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 05/26/16
Posts: 265
Loc: San Jose, CA
I just love your voice.

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#420248 - 07/03/17 06:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3717
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3717
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Great vocal, one of your best I think, and great harmonies too.

Love that little lick that plays under the "suitable partners around" line, fits perfectly.

Love the story, great lyrics as usual, and man, that ending! Not expected but very cool indeed.

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#420327 - 07/03/17 04:07 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 563
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Achordocaster Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 563
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Hey Floyd,
This is very nice. Really like the instrumentation. That nylon guitar sounds great! Good write. Your a machine! grin

Greg

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#420347 - 07/03/17 10:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: Dinner For One [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/11/15
Posts: 2149
Loc: Aichi, Japan
animarorecords Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 05/11/15
Posts: 2149
Loc: Aichi, Japan
Hello, floyd

Very beautiful song with sadness.
I do not quite well understand nuances because the lyrics are English, but this is beautiful.
And your vocal is really fitted to this tune.
The band with a small organization is very preferable and strings at ending are very cool.
Very enjoyable listen.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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