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#487155 - 08/21/18 02:44 PM [User Showcase] My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding
Registered: 03/20/18
Posts: 3
Loc: BC Canada
Keith Bieber Offline
Newbie

Registered: 03/20/18
Posts: 3
Loc: BC Canada
https://soundcloud.com/keith-bieber/my-little-girl

I wrote and performed this song on guitar, for our daughter's wedding 4 years ago
People really liked it so I later used Biab to create music for it.
everything in this song is Band in a box except the lead guitar track
I'm very happy with band in a box and how the song turned out.
please give your input
Thanks Keith

Lyrics
I’ve never really been that good, making myself understood;
the hardest part has always been, saying what I really mean
But on this day that’s all for you. Hear these words and know their true,
I love you my little girl.

Through the years we’ve watched you grow,
through the years we’ve watched you go
moving from the child that was, to the woman you’ve become
and if in that time you never knew how much we really care for you,
well we love you our little girl.

Life just races by soon as it’s begun,
and in the twinkling of an eye you’re left wondering where it’s gone.
One day I’m holding you like a baby
and the next you’re walking on, oh I love you my little girl.

One day your there playing with your dolls
next day you’ve grown so tall.
One day it’s all school yard games
then you’re driving off with James.
its funny how things that should be said.
All stay locked up inside my head
but I love you my little girl

life just races by soon as its begun,
It picks up speed It starts to slide
you don’t get a practice run,
one day were holding our brand new baby .
and the next that chapters done
oh we love you our little girl

Time just races by, soon as its begun
we’ve been told its on our side.
but that’s a song just for the young
so treat each moment like some precious jewel
you’ve found sparkling in the sun
and know we love you our little girl

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#487157 - 08/21/18 02:55 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2932
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2932
Loc: Victoria, BC
I noticed that you only have one post so far! Welcome to the forum! This is a beautiful song and I am sure your daughter adored it. Thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember

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#487158 - 08/21/18 02:56 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 03/20/18
Posts: 3
Loc: BC Canada
Keith Bieber Offline
Newbie

Registered: 03/20/18
Posts: 3
Loc: BC Canada
Thank you

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#487176 - 08/21/18 03:55 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 6692
Loc: North Carolina
David Snyder Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 6692
Loc: North Carolina

So beautiful Keith!

What father wouldn't love or understand this one.

I love the line:

"You don't get a practice run."

Great. And so true. Mix sounds great by the way.

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#487185 - 08/21/18 04:42 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 5056
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 5056
Loc: Sydney Australia
Keith

Welcome to the forum.
A really pretty song - very nice sentimental lyrics, well performed and presented.
Particularly liked the chorus.


Peter

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#487188 - 08/21/18 04:58 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5496
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5496
Loc: Sacramento, California
Good lyrics, expressively sung, good mix.

To re-use the adjective that others have said: beautiful.

As for suggestions, the "wall of strummed guitars" doesn't let up. It might be better to drop them out completely and points, and change the instrumentation. Similarly, your lead acoustic is great, but on the last verse it feels like it's trying to get attention instead of sitting in the mix.

Or you could ignore the above suggestions and be really rightly pleased with what an excellent job you've done! wink
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#487197 - 08/21/18 05:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 7000
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 7000
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Welcome to the forum Keith. What a beautiful song for your daughter. Perfect song. Was thinking of my grand daughters while I was listening to the song. Brought a tear to my eye. Well done

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#487256 - 08/22/18 07:03 AM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 03/20/18
Posts: 3
Loc: BC Canada
Keith Bieber Offline
Newbie

Registered: 03/20/18
Posts: 3
Loc: BC Canada
Thanks for the input
Yes I know what you mean.
Thats something I need to work on.
My Son tells me that I need to have more push pulls and breaks in my songs.
and not so much repitition

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#487261 - 08/22/18 07:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10676
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10676
Loc: Florida
Keith,

Welcome to the Showcase!

A nice, heartfelt write. Well sung - nicely recorded. The vocal sits in the mix nicely. Shows that you've been doing this for a while...

A good mix throughout. The bass is clean and clear, the drums loud and proud, the guitars at the proper levels.

A good listen.

floyd

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#487262 - 08/22/18 07:16 AM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1372
Tangmo Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1372
I think your son is probably right, but my goodness what a beautiful piece. I really enjoyed the listen.
_________________________
BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground

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#487288 - 08/22/18 08:21 AM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3968
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3968
Loc: The Netherlands
Hi Keith,

Welcome to the forum.

And.. you made yourself very well understood.
I quite agree with the lyrics (being a mother myself), one moment you hold a baby in your arms, the next it's grown up.

The song is beautiful, you have a very good voice.
The lead guitar is great!
Well done.

Anne-Marie
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1gsdNLE7_Gy8qavoOplQow/videos
http://rnam.net/



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#488373 - 08/29/18 12:04 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
GocartMoz Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Keith,

Excellent write and beautiful vocal. I can only imagine there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Great job.

Dave

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#488386 - 08/29/18 12:27 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12518
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12518
Loc: GA USA
Welcome. Hope you get a chance to stay around and check out some of the fine music here.

This is an excellent write and your fine vocal perfectly sets the mood!

We're sure she is proud of you for creating this.

Kudos

J&B

PS It would be nice to know the BiaB tracks you used.
_________________________
J&B Videos
J&B Soundcloud
J&B Website

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#488405 - 08/29/18 01:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 7174
Loc: Scottish Highlands
furry Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 7174
Loc: Scottish Highlands
What a gorgeous song, deserves, radio airplay. Love the lyrics. Must admit to having a lump in my throat listening

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#488542 - 08/30/18 07:37 AM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Wow - this is beautiful smile I can only imagine there wasn't a dry eye in the house while you played this. I definitely felt a bit choked up listening.

You should be proud of this one - thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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#488554 - 08/30/18 09:14 AM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8548
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8548
I really like this and so well done. And it's so true.... don't blink or you miss it.

This a well written song that I'm sure your daughter enjoyed hearing.

Have a listen to the song on my music site called "Fly". It's written with the same sentiment, for my daughters..... both of them.


Oh yeah.... Welcome to the family. I think you're gonna fit in nicely here


Edited by Guitarhacker (08/30/18 09:16 AM)
_________________________
You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#489022 - 09/02/18 03:33 PM [User Showcase] Re: My little Girl or Marnie's Song. Written for our daughter's wedding [Re: Keith Bieber]
Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 4803
Loc: United States
Torrey Bliss Offline
Veteran

Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 4803
Loc: United States
Very nice song Keith with lots of truth in it! The added acoustic guitar parts sound really nice and also an excellent vocal! Thanks, Torrey
_________________________


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