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#487431 08/23/18 03:09 AM
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This is a song I originally wrote in 2013 after I, along with members of my family, ran into some serious health battles. I have two recordings from 2013 and figured I would try to re-imagine this tune using BIAB. I decided on a very simple arrangement. I am not at my "BIAB computer," so I will have to post the backing tracks later.

The Dream
(c)2018 David S. Becker Music

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/the-dream-redux-2018

Intro
Verse 1

I'm walking
Down a narrow road
I'm carrying
Such a heavy load
I'm losing my breath
Trying not to fall behind
I'm struggling
To stay within the lines

Verse 2
A weight it lifts
No more need to fight
A blast of air
And a radiant light
I'm for once at ease
As the air it fills my lungs
The pain is gone
My body and mind go numb

Pre-Chorus
But I can't escape
This nightmare
Why must I have to wake
This existence I'd forsake
I've survived too long
In this hospice
In my dream I'm set free
It's where I want to be

Chorus
I want to go home
Home
There's nothing here for me
But pain & misery
Home
I need to go home
Won't someone set me free
Take these shackles off of me

Bridge
Well I have a pulse
My heart's beating
I can take a breath
I'm breathing
But the pain is never easing
And to suffer there's no meaning

Verse 3

I am sleeping
With a peaceful ease
No bitter cold
Just a soothing breeze
There's a voice that's faint
Screaming "stay with me"
A shock to the heart
Why can't they let me be

Repeat Pre-chorus
Repeat Chorus
Outro



Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/25/18 01:10 AM.
GocartMoz #487437 08/23/18 03:38 AM
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A very powerful and moving song!

Simple arrangement is perfect IMHO, anything else would get in the way.

Nicely done!

GocartMoz #487446 08/23/18 04:31 AM
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That'll rip the paint off your heart.

Very moving and the perfect backup to support the moving vocal and lyric.

We are with Dave that anymore, arrangement wise, would not add anything.

Great work!

J&B

GocartMoz #487459 08/23/18 05:26 AM
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Really well done smile Very moving, and imply put - it is beautiful. You can feel the sincerity in your voice and lyrics. It is perfectly catchy as well, and very well produced.

Great work and thanks for sharing!


Cheers,
Deryk
BlueAttitude #487497 08/23/18 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
A very powerful and moving song!

Simple arrangement is perfect IMHO, anything else would get in the way.

Nicely done!


Thank you for the listen and comments. It is greatly appreciated.

Dave

GocartMoz #487514 08/23/18 12:19 PM
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Hi GocartMoz, Thanks for sharing this with us! I found this very easy to listen to and has a pleasant chord structure. Great work on the guitars. Nice work on the vocals too, especially at the bridge. Well done!


Cheers,
Joe
GocartMoz #487517 08/23/18 12:27 PM
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What a nice song! Full of emotional heartfelt lyrics and performance! Great vocal! Thanks, Torrey




Janice & Bud #487557 08/23/18 10:46 PM
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Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
That'll rip the paint off your heart.

Very moving and the perfect backup to support the moving vocal and lyric.

We are with Dave that anymore, arrangement wise, would not add anything.

Great work!

J&B


Hey J & B ,

Always appreciate hearing your thoughts. Thanks much for giving this a listen and commenting.

Dave

GocartMoz #487563 08/23/18 11:36 PM
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What a terrific, although, poignant song. The simplicity of the background tracks is the perfect complement to the straightforward lyric. Everything about this powerful and compellinmg. Best to you and yours.

Alan


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GocartMoz #487573 08/24/18 03:25 AM
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Dave,

A very powerful write and a very powerful performance and presentation.

The piano/organ combination works really well for this. Nice production and mix. The "touch of fiddle", works well, too...

Seems like you have quickly "gotten comfortable" with the BAND!

Well done.

fj

GocartMoz #487578 08/24/18 03:43 AM
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A strong and emotional write, great performance

Florida is well represented on these forums by

really good songwriters!

I love the sparse backing, it's my "go to" very often

good storytelling, it put me in the "Lord save me from this fate"

frame of mind.

Kenny

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Originally Posted By: Deryk - PG Music
Really well done smile Very moving, and imply put - it is beautiful. You can feel the sincerity in your voice and lyrics. It is perfectly catchy as well, and very well produced.

Great work and thanks for sharing!


Thank you Derek, I appreciate the comments.

Dave

Joe -PG Music #487704 08/25/18 01:06 AM
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Originally Posted By: Joe -PG Music
Hi GocartMoz, Thanks for sharing this with us! I found this very easy to listen to and has a pleasant chord structure. Great work on the guitars. Nice work on the vocals too, especially at the bridge. Well done!


Thx for the listen. Interestingly though there is no guitar in this recording. I originally included some acoustic tracks with me playing, but decided to nix them as I wanted to keep it sparse. Appreciate the listen.

Thanks,

Dave

Torrey Bliss #487705 08/25/18 01:08 AM
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Originally Posted By: Torrey Bliss
What a nice song! Full of emotional heartfelt lyrics and performance! Great vocal! Thanks, Torrey


Thank you Torrey. I appreciate your thoughts.

Dave

GocartMoz #487709 08/25/18 03:20 AM
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A remarkable song Dave, incredibly moving, sincere and so well put together.
Well done my friend.

John


Songs web site
YouTube Channel
BIAB 2019
Cakewalk by BandLab
Studio One 4
Al-David #487735 08/25/18 05:29 AM
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Originally Posted By: Al-David
What a terrific, although, poignant song. The simplicity of the background tracks is the perfect complement to the straightforward lyric. Everything about this powerful and compellinmg. Best to you and yours.

Alan


Thank you Alan. I appreciate your time listening and commenting.

Dave

GocartMoz #487754 08/25/18 07:18 AM
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David,

This is very moving... I love the song and performance. Some very fine production here as well.

Bob

GocartMoz #487774 08/25/18 09:46 AM
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POWERFUL, riveting, passionate!!! Beautifully done. I would not change a thing about this. BTW, is the piano an RT? I'd like to check that one out. My mom is 87 and this pretty much describes her life. It is difficult to watch. Fortunately her pain is relatively mild most of the time but there is so little there for her that I wonder how she pushes on. GREAT work here!! Take care. Greg

GocartMoz #487795 08/25/18 11:59 AM
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Your vocal is filled with emotion! Wonderful choice of instruments and arrangement!

very much enjoyed!

GocartMoz #487807 08/25/18 04:40 PM
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Well that was a powerful and sad song. Really nicely produced written and performed.
A strong composition.
Peter

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