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#501054 11/12/18 08:32 PM
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Hi, all:

It seems the more I play with this one, the worse I think I make it. This is remix 3000, or so it feels. I'm gonna let it go and count on all your collective sage wisdom to guide me. Thanks in advance for the listen and your kind feedback.

My best to all of you,

Deej

Love Goes (Revised)

It’s not your fault, I know;
but I can read the writing in your eyes— so you know.
It really shouldn’t come as a surprise.
It just shows even all the best things fall apart,
however hard you try.
And I wonder where it goes—
how love comes to your heart
then disappears.

Restless hearts, restless minds;
say goodbye to what we’ll leave behind.
Reckless thoughts, reckless words—
maybe time will finally heal the hurt.
(Who knows where love goes?)

It’s not my choice to leave;
and I can hear your voice sound like a symphony,
playing sweet upon my doubts and empathy—
it’s a melody you’ve played before
to bring me to my knees,
but not anymore,
and so, darling, can’t we please
just let this go.

Restless hearts, restless minds;
say goodbye to what we’ll leave behind.
Reckless thoughts, reckless words—
maybe time will finally heal the hurt.
(Who knows where love goes?)

Too late to turn the hands of time,
to undo what was said,
to undo what we’ve done;
a song can’t be unsung—
no, our time has run.

Restless hearts, restless minds;
say goodbye to what we’ll leave behind.
Reckless thoughts, reckless words;
maybe time will finally heal the hurt.
(Who knows where love goes?)

2018(c)DJ Lekich

Here's the "band":

Drums: Real Drums, Nashville Even 8^6 high hat
Bass: Real 518 Bass, Electric Pop Half Notes, ev 085
Piano 1: Real 891, Acoustic, Solo Accompaniment Pop Liverpool ev 065
Piano 2: Real 831, Acoustic, Solo Accompaniment Waltz Slow ev 085
Piano 3: Real 1006, Acoustic, Solo Accompaniment Pop California ev 085
Guitar: Real 368, Acoustic strumming ev 065
Strings: Midi, ST 2521 String quartet, Rhythm pop ev 085


Last edited by Deej56; 11/13/18 03:30 PM.
Deej56 #501056 11/12/18 09:15 PM
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Strong lyric, stronger vocal. Change nothing about that.

The longer the song went, the better it got with the addition of harmony and strings. But I think the beginning could use some love as well. I was lost as to the "structure" of the song until those bits of extra production helped carve it out. I could suggest cello, background electric guitar, pads of some sort in turns to further delineate the "sections" of the song. Perhaps some holds at the ends of the sections might work well too.

Actually, the more I hear of piano chording real-tracks, the more I think they can really be helped along by something "underneath" and maybe a bit more reverb to help "humanize" them.

Don't know how sage that wisdom is, or even if it's wisdom at all. But there it is.


BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground
Deej56 #501089 11/13/18 05:07 AM
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Deej,

A nice melody, particularly the chorus.

A strong vocal (as Tangmo noted). I think you could roll off some of the high EQ to give it a little warmth.

I can't hear the bass at all. Bringing that up will help with the structure that Tangmo mentioned. The drums are really buried, too - can only hear them between the section - like they completely drop out the rest of the time. The strings at the end are nice.

fj

Tangmo #501175 11/13/18 03:26 PM
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Thanks, Tangmo, appreciate the listen and kind words on the vocal and lyrics. Production is still new to me, so it's often hit and miss. Floyd provided some additional suggestions and I'm going to start there, and have. I've linked up to a new version of the song. I've probably made it worse, but for what it's worth . . .

All the best,

Deej

floyd jane #501177 11/13/18 03:28 PM
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Floyd,

Thanks for the comments and feedback--all great suggestions. I've tried to incorporate them in a new version, which I've hopefully linked to above. Not sure it makes it much better, but hopefully a step in the right direction.

Hope all is well in your world.

Deej

Deej56 #501184 11/13/18 04:03 PM
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Enjoyed much!
Your vocal delivery on the last couple of songs reminded me of Vaughn Monroe-Riders in the Sky.

Misha.

Deej56 #501198 11/13/18 07:28 PM
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This was better with simply the rhythm section getting raised as per Floyd's suggestion. That's definitely the direction to go, I think.


BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground
Deej56 #501201 11/13/18 08:21 PM
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Hi Deej,

Very pretty song. Lots of emotion in both the lyric and vocal delivery. I didn't hear before you made a few adjustments, so I can comment only on this version.

I think it's pretty strong. I think the drums could come up yet some more. And when the strings came in, the song really soared. perhaps bring them in a but earlier?

Regardless, I really enjoyed it. Nice all around work.

Wishing you the very best.

Alan


BIAB 2022 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

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Deej56 #501259 11/14/18 06:13 AM
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Hello Deej56, I really enjoyed the overall tone of this. This is beautiful and a solid key signature choice too. That piano is gorgeous! Very captivating lyrics. Great work!


Cheers,
Joe
Deej56 #501371 11/15/18 12:53 AM
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Really enjoyed your vocal. You have a unique voice in a good way. Well done..


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
Deej56 #501391 11/15/18 02:38 AM
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DJ: Sounds right-on to me! Not sure what you are fiddling with...melody/lyric? Production mix? I like it as it is.

If you're looking for suggestions, here's what I would do a little differently:

Add some movement to the 2nd verse: I think that, in a slow ballad like this, where you have verses that repeat melodically, it's a good idea to build up the arrangement--first time through: simple and basic, 2nd time thru: add a component--maybe more drum, strings..just an idea.

Just my slant on things, but I don't think you need to 're-mix' more than this!

Thanks for sharing your work!

Deej56 #501419 11/15/18 04:25 AM
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Lots of passion happening with your vocal, I like it! It's especially good once you add the second vocal in there.

Didn't hear your original mix, but this one sounds pretty good to me.

Deej56 #501422 11/15/18 04:40 AM
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We like it! We are always in for a soulful vocal irrespective of the genre.

It sounds really good on our monitors. One minor consideration (and only since you asked). Since the piano RT's are stereo and given that the lower end of the keyboard tends to the left and the upper to the right panning the track close to center often sounds good - particularly if the piano is up in the mix (floyd first made me aware of this several years ago). But there is no "wrong" or "right" where you put it - just opinions smile

The strings are nice, the vocal is distinctive and strong and the write is very poignant.

Well done!

J&B

Last edited by Janice & Bud; 11/16/18 11:38 AM.
Deej56 #501426 11/15/18 04:57 AM
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Hi DJ. This is a good song with nice changes and a good arrangement, and sung with a lot of passion.

Possible improvements, (caveat: how I mix a song is personal to me, and how I like to balance instruments and voices!)
- I felt the title should be "Restless Hearts", which is the pay-off first line of the choruses.
- The passion in the vocal has made it strident and 'shouty' in places and too forward in the mix, I'd EQ down some of the upper mids to make the tone warmer and also lower the volume a tad.
- I could hardly hear the drums at all, they need to come up, also the strumming guitar part is similarly too low in the mix.

I hope that's of some help, and thanks for letting us hear this one!

John


Songs web site
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Deej56 #501438 11/15/18 05:20 AM
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I personally found this rendition to be really stunning. I definitely don't think you need to further mix this smile The vocals and strong and memorable, and the entire tune has an aura of beautiful sincerity. I absolutely loved the slow build up near the end in it too.

You should be proud of this one - thanks for sharing!


Cheers,
Deryk
Deej56 #501700 11/16/18 11:28 AM
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Wonderful emotion and passion here!! Some really nice lines in there. Wonderful, soulful vocal! Really nicely done!! Take care. Greg

Rustyspoon# #501762 11/16/18 08:33 PM
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Rusty,

Thank you kindly. I’m not familiar with Vaughn Monroe, but I’ll definitely check him out. Appreciate the listen.

Kind regards,

Deej

Tangmo #501763 11/16/18 08:34 PM
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Tangmo,

Thanks—Floyd’s suggestions are usually spot on. Following the comments below, I took another dive into the mix. Found a better drum and upped it. I think (hope) that, among other things, helps even more. Appreciate your giving this a second listen.

All the best,

Deej

Al-David #501764 11/16/18 08:37 PM
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Alan,

Thanks for the listen. Drums—they kill me. But on my most recent mix I think I found a drummer that wasn’t so in love with the high hat—so felt better upping up the volume. Hopefully this is better in that regard. As for the strings earlier—really was intending to hold them to the end and build up to them, so I’m reluctant to bring them in too early. But I’ll give it more thought. Thanks again for the great feedback.

Best regards,

Deej

Deej56 #501765 11/16/18 08:37 PM
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Joe and Scott,

Glad you both enjoyed the tune. Hopefully the more recent tweaks in version number 3 have improved things a bit.

All the best,

Deej

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