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David Snyder #525705 02/21/19 04:33 PM
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Dave, there might be a little more room to amp the vocals up a touch. We'll see.

Thanks for the feedback!

Phil Leith #525706 02/21/19 04:40 PM
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It's the bass. It's up just a bit too high and is swallowing some of the vocals.

Phil Leith #525800 02/22/19 07:58 AM
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There. I dropped the bass track by 1db. I think that'll help a lot.

Phil Leith #525806 02/22/19 08:28 AM
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nice song. Sounded good on these speakers.

Did I miss a chorus somewhere? or.... is this just a simple AAA format? Either way.... sounded good


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.

You can make excuses or you can make progress but you can't do both.
Guitarhacker #525818 02/22/19 09:49 AM
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Pretty much AAA. It was one of my early compositions, which tended to be that way.

I got a comment on it on YouTube, the original "just me and the guitar" version that said "you might have something here if you could maybe give it a middle 8".

I knew it was a very repetitive song. All I had managed to do to try to address that at all was to change the melody at the beginning of what sort of comes off as a "bridge" in this version, and I had one "instrumental" break which consisted of me strumming the chord riff that goes through the whole song. Which is about all I can do very well on a guitar. Pretty boring.

I did a second version a few years ago where I'd played a finger-pattern track over the strumming and programmed the midi drums in Reaper and it sounded better, but not up to my more recent productions of songs with Band in a Box - which I only bought a year ago.

What Band in a Box allowed me to do was to add a bass, a real guitar solo, piano, some backing vocals, and I also replaced my finger-pattern picking with someone who can actually play one well, consistently. I also added a second instrumental break to help break it up even more

So the song is AAA-AA'A-A

In short, BIAB took a song that was a pretty good idea, but not very interesting-sounding overall, and let me turn it into something that people actually seem to enjoy. Good enough. Like most of my songs, they are pretty personal, and I just want to give them the best treatment I can give them to put on a CD.

Phil Leith #525819 02/22/19 09:56 AM
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Hi, Phil !

What a wonderful tune
and so beautifully
arranged and sung !
I enjoyed it very much !:))

Cheers
Dani

Phil Leith #525896 02/22/19 08:17 PM
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Upbeat, positive, and catchy.

Nice little song. smile


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
Phil Leith #526902 03/01/19 09:27 AM
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Nicely done!! Love the retro vibe! This topic reminds me of a favorite Don Henley lyric: Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can break your heart. Nice job on this!! Take care. Greg

Phil Leith #531636 04/05/19 06:17 AM
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I came for another listen...
Its a great little song...
Again good write!


Jim
†=☮&♥
Phil Leith #531669 04/05/19 09:15 AM
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Great tune Phil! The lyrics were spot on.

Jim #531745 04/06/19 02:57 AM
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Thanks, Jim it is one of my favorites … of mine... which sounds weird to say. But... there it is.

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