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David Snyder #525705 02/21/19 05:33 PM
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Dave, there might be a little more room to amp the vocals up a touch. We'll see.

Thanks for the feedback!

Phil Leith #525706 02/21/19 05:40 PM
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It's the bass. It's up just a bit too high and is swallowing some of the vocals.

Phil Leith #525800 02/22/19 08:58 AM
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There. I dropped the bass track by 1db. I think that'll help a lot.

Phil Leith #525806 02/22/19 09:28 AM
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nice song. Sounded good on these speakers.

Did I miss a chorus somewhere? or.... is this just a simple AAA format? Either way.... sounded good


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
Guitarhacker #525818 02/22/19 10:49 AM
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Pretty much AAA. It was one of my early compositions, which tended to be that way.

I got a comment on it on YouTube, the original "just me and the guitar" version that said "you might have something here if you could maybe give it a middle 8".

I knew it was a very repetitive song. All I had managed to do to try to address that at all was to change the melody at the beginning of what sort of comes off as a "bridge" in this version, and I had one "instrumental" break which consisted of me strumming the chord riff that goes through the whole song. Which is about all I can do very well on a guitar. Pretty boring.

I did a second version a few years ago where I'd played a finger-pattern track over the strumming and programmed the midi drums in Reaper and it sounded better, but not up to my more recent productions of songs with Band in a Box - which I only bought a year ago.

What Band in a Box allowed me to do was to add a bass, a real guitar solo, piano, some backing vocals, and I also replaced my finger-pattern picking with someone who can actually play one well, consistently. I also added a second instrumental break to help break it up even more

So the song is AAA-AA'A-A

In short, BIAB took a song that was a pretty good idea, but not very interesting-sounding overall, and let me turn it into something that people actually seem to enjoy. Good enough. Like most of my songs, they are pretty personal, and I just want to give them the best treatment I can give them to put on a CD.

Phil Leith #525819 02/22/19 10:56 AM
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Hi, Phil !

What a wonderful tune
and so beautifully
arranged and sung !
I enjoyed it very much !:))

Cheers
Dani

Phil Leith #525896 02/22/19 09:17 PM
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Upbeat, positive, and catchy.

Nice little song. smile


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
Phil Leith #526902 03/01/19 10:27 AM
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Nicely done!! Love the retro vibe! This topic reminds me of a favorite Don Henley lyric: Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can break your heart. Nice job on this!! Take care. Greg

Phil Leith #531636 04/05/19 07:17 AM
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I came for another listen...
Its a great little song...
Again good write!


Jim
†=☮&♥
Phil Leith #531669 04/05/19 10:15 AM
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Great tune Phil! The lyrics were spot on.

Jim #531745 04/06/19 03:57 AM
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Thanks, Jim it is one of my favorites … of mine... which sounds weird to say. But... there it is.

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