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#534323 - 04/25/19 09:26 PM
[User Showcase]
If You Stay
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Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1067
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Expert
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1067
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
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Hey, all: Something new . . . this time a solo effort. I try to space out my postings, and normally that’s an easy thing as I’m far from prolific. But this one’s been around a bit and thought I’d finally share here. Hope you enjoy the listen. Here's the song:IF YOU STAY Here are the lyrics:I hear you whisper in the dying light, just a quiet word beneath a weary sigh, and the car outside, idling in the snow. I see the key to my apartment door on the countertop next to the ring you wore, and they’re telling me you really mean to go. But if you stay one more night we can make this all right, if we try we just might make this last forever. If we make one last stand it can be just like we planned, you don’t have to walk away, we can make this all OK if you stay. Don’t you remember how we used to be, how we wore each others skins so comfortably, we were more than two could ever be alone. So tell me why it’s different now, how what we had we lost somehow, you say it’s gone, maybe it’s gone. But if you stay one more night we can make this all right, if we try we just might make this last forever. If we make one last stand it can be just like we planned, you don’t have to walk away, we can make this all OK if you stay. Don’t it feel like our two hearts belong together, that if we fight for what we love we can get back to how it was. But if you stay one more night we can make this all right, if we try we just might make this last forever. If we make one last stand it can be just like we planned, you don’t have to walk away, we can make this all OK if you stay. Here's the band:Drums: RealDrums Country Even 8 Bass: Real 2488, Bowed Held Guitar: Real 522, Acoustic Fingerpick Guitar: Real 841, Electric, Pop Ballad Slow Gritty Guitar: Real 543, Electric, Rhythm Dreamy Guitar: Real 1119, 12 String Acoustic, Strumming Piano: Real 2494, Held Chords String Quartet: Real 2508 © 2019 DJ Lekich
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#534328 - 04/25/19 10:52 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3294
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Veteran
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3294
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
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Deej,
you have a lot of character in your voice and it sells the narrative well.
The backing is just that - a back drop for the voice and story - nice.
I would suggest you address the plosives in you vocal track to make the most of the intimacy that you offer.
There's some T CH SH & ESS stuff that jumps way out from the backing.
Setting an additional compressor to knock those back without "makeup" you may be fine or try a plugin/VST de-esser or two - one for the ess and for the CH if you set them up right.
_________________________
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com
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#534334 - 04/25/19 11:50 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1165
Loc: United Kingdom
Expert
Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1165
Loc: United Kingdom
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My computer just deleted my feedback just as I was about to post it. Here goes a re-type of sorts:
Superb job on every level. It's hard to do justice to your song in mere words, but I'll try nevertheless :-)
a) Distinctive voice (if it came on on the radio, I'd recognise it out of a thousand);
b) PASSION (the way you sing, you put EVERYTHING into your song), and
c) expertise (because you know how to sing - just listen to those dynamics, people! - and craft a song and get to the point in it without doodling about like I, for one, do, so that everything you want to communicate DOES get communicated in the best possible way).
These three together make for an incredible combination, which I feel you use to go (with total success) straight for one's emotions - and that's what matters, right?
Beethoven himself once said: "to play a wrong note is excusable. To play without passion is unforgivable". You don't sing any wrong notes that I can hear :-) - but, even if you did, I wouldn't care less because your passion carries it all. I wish your songs were for sale because (although everyone that knows me knows just how hard up for cash I actually am) I'd sure buy them without a shadow of a doubt.
One last thing: as I've said before, I've heard some of your other songs on SoundCloud, too ... you have a talent for stating exactly what needs to be stated in a song, without waffle or "extra material", so to speak. You just get to the point and break hearts (in the best way!) in the process! I love that - and "If You Stay" is a prime example of this. I'm not even going to start discussing your masterful command of lyric writing - we'll be here all day, haha. So: superb job, once more ... I want to hear more and WILL listen to more of your creations on SoundCloud! You really have something genuinely special, and I don't believe in hiding lights under bushels, so to speak :-) - so it's a BRAVO from me :-)
Edited by musician17 (04/25/19 11:52 PM)
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#534335 - 04/25/19 11:58 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1363
Expert
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1363
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Great melody. The high notes sell the plaintive quality of the lyric. Way to beg. I like this a whole lot.
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#534337 - 04/26/19 02:44 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4891
Loc: New York
Veteran
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4891
Loc: New York
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DJ,
This is an excellent song. I love the arrangement and the quality of the performance.
You have a vibe & feel to your voice that reminds me of Russell Hitchcock from Air Supply.
I thought this was just great all around and really enjoyed it.
Bob
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#534354 - 04/26/19 05:05 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3931
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Veteran
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3931
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Lots of passion in your vocal, and great tone too. You are definitely one of my favorite vocalists on this site.
Just a beautiful song, I very much enjoyed it. Well done!
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#534378 - 04/26/19 07:46 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
PG Music Staff
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
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Wow - this is stunning  You really brought together something beautiful here. It sounds hopeful but sad at the same time. Love the progressions and your vocal performance on this. Very emotional, and definitely tugs at the heart strings. Thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk
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#534379 - 04/26/19 07:53 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 12/23/17
Posts: 761
Loc: Alabama
Journeyman
Registered: 12/23/17
Posts: 761
Loc: Alabama
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Wow, DJ, this a beautiful song, so well written, vocals are pro quality, you have done an amazing job with this!!!! I love it CLiff
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#534380 - 04/26/19 07:54 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 7132
Loc: Scottish Highlands
Veteran
Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 7132
Loc: Scottish Highlands
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VERY VERY nice, brilliant vocals, nice arrangements as well
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#534403 - 04/26/19 09:28 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
Veteran
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
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WOW!! So well done. So emotive....great vocal. Some really powerful lyrics. Particularly like:
I see the key to my apartment door
on the countertop next to the ring you wore
Great way to tell the story!
This song works so well in every way!! Take care. Greg
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#534406 - 04/26/19 09:33 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
Expert
Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
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Simply stated... IMHO this is one well-crafted song...
Great lyrics...
Great chorus...
Terrific vocal & production...
I really enjoyed listening to this one!
_________________________
Jim
†=☮&♥
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#534407 - 04/26/19 09:34 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Veteran
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
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DJ, as already said above, you have an amazing distinctive voice and your delivery of the sentiments in the song is just spot on. You've written a very special, beautiful song here. Well done!
John
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#534447 - 04/26/19 05:32 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
PG Music Staff
Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
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Thank you for sharing this with us! I found the harmonies very detailed and quite pleasing to the ears. Good sense of rhythm too. well done!
_________________________
Cheers,
Joe
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#534448 - 04/26/19 05:49 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17389
Loc: Australia
Veteran
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17389
Loc: Australia
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Hi DJ, Here are just a few of the thoughts that passed through my mind as I listened...  I thoroughly enjoyed the journey that you just took me on. There are no two ways about it, you're a very talented songwriter, song producer and song performer. All the best, Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS
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#534599 - 04/28/19 07:39 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5974
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Veteran
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5974
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
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What a cool vocal. Such a lovely song done with such emotion. Well done..
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#534810 - 04/29/19 08:52 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1067
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Expert
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1067
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
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rayc, James, Tangmo, Bob, Dave, Deryk, Cliff, Graham, Greg, Jim, John, Joe, Noel and Scott:
Thank you each for taking the time to listen and for all your very kind comments on the tune I’m glad this one worked. In retrospect, there are a few small things I might want to tweak were I to dive back into this one, but I was hoping it worked well enough . . . and it seems it did. Really appreciate your support.
rayc: Yeah, the plosives are definitely there . . . something I need to focus on going forward. I’m not quite technically savvy enough to fully understand your suggestion (sorry about that), but I’m guessing there are options in my DAW that might help me address it better.
Deryk: “hopeful but sad” was the intent . . . glad it came through.
James and Noel: You are both too, too kind . . . but it’s very much appreciated.
My best to all of you,
Deej
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#534814 - 04/29/19 09:47 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 09/09/17
Posts: 723
Loc: Virginia
Journeyman
Registered: 09/09/17
Posts: 723
Loc: Virginia
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Deej, this is the first time I've listened to any of your songs and I was blown away. Great in all aspects lyrics, melody, vocal delivery, etc. So beautiful, hopeful and emotional. Will be listening to more of your songs hopefully.
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#534838 - 04/30/19 06:07 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7792
Veteran
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7792
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I'm glad to stopped to listen..... nicely done.
The song hooked me and made me want to stay and listen to more.
Good job on the writing. Your vocals really have a nice character to them. Love those falsetto high notes here and there.
It's all good to me.
_________________________
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.com Add nothing that adds nothing to the music. As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.
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#534852 - 04/30/19 07:34 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10742
Loc: GA USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10742
Loc: GA USA
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As we said at SC: The whole package...good vocal, write, arrangement and production!
All the bases have been covered. There is little to add...but at the risk of being redundant this is a great take on the breakup theme.
New and fresh.
You delivers it with convincing soul and passion and wrapped it a production that well supports the vocal and lyric.
Excellent!
J&B
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#534973 - 05/01/19 06:48 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: If You Stay
[Re: Deej56]
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Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 2352
Loc: Finland
Veteran
Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 2352
Loc: Finland
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So much excellency in this package, a song and performance usually heard in the final of a song contest or singing contest like Idols, in both I would give my vote to you The backing band supports your amazing voice very well, I like especially the strings and the picking guitar. Janne
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