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#557590 10/03/19 05:51 AM
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Hi everyone,

This is a new song of me. Well, actually it is a year old, but I had it lying on a shelf. I rearranged it somewhat. The lyrics are a bit sensitive, but the music is more sunny and with nice sologitars in it.
I hope you like it. It is called https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/its-on-me


The style I used is called Ditty. It's in Bm and the tempo is around 100 (102).
I changed some instruments to shape it like I want it to sound: a bit Latin, a bit Funky within a Rock-Pop setting. I could be a bit wrong with this (I hesitate about that 'Rock') but you may help me with that.
Oh, and if you have some critic on the song or whatever, please tell me. I like to learn.

Best regards,
Hans

The lyrics:
Its on me
(c) HwBerkhout march 2018 -rearranged sept. 2019

I'm imprisoned inside my mind
Don't know the way out, not in any kind
My heart keeps yelling, what's happens to me?
Can I reverse my life now, is there hope to see?

Ooh, I felt trapped here in my own cage
I cannot free me, not on my age
It was that morning, it got on me
Life can't be beaten, not by me
No, it can't be beaten, not this time

Hee, can you see me
There is something I cannot say with words
Have you heard my voice this morning
I was feeding all my feelings to the birds
It's on me, that I see

=solo=

I'm in an ocean of build-up fears
No solution ready, so it appears
But the voice inside me, the one I trust,
Say things get better, that is a must

Will the sun shine? Will I find life?
Those who can tell me, had not arrive
But still it happened, my life rearranged
Time was the doctor, to help me change
I now see that, just in time

Hee, can you feel it
There is something I cannot say with words
Have you heard my voice this morning
When feeding all my feelings to the birds?
Ah, no!

=solo=

Hee, can you feel it
There is something I cannot say with words
Have you heard my voice this morning
When feeding all my feelings to the birds?

Did you notice I was smiling?
My prison finally opened up its door
I feel free for the first time
Something I hadn't felt before

So, come on and drink
It's on me![color:#3333FF][/color]


Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
Birchwood #557625 10/03/19 11:06 AM
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Hans,
Cool song! Phrasing and arrangement is spot on. I liked The hand drums on this, makes whole thing smooth and gives a chance to focus on lyrics.
"feeding all my feelings to the birds" I liked that.

Mix is one of your best., but...(you asked smile ) Arrangement has very accoustic feel: guitar and drums with a lot of intimate proximity, but vocals have a distant effect of a hall. I am not the guy to suggest proper mixing technique, but I think dryer vocals migh work better with the rest of arrangement. Enjoyed it!

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Birchwood #557672 10/03/19 09:34 PM
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Drier vocals, (most of the bottom end of them seems to be in the tail), as well as dropping the level of them a bit would suit my taste.
At present it sounds like you're in a different room and close to the mic.
The level and wetness of the solo should be your guide to settle the vocal then this good piece of writing will sound even better.


Cheers
rayc
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Birchwood #557676 10/03/19 10:58 PM
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First of all I really like this song! Very good writing, great vocal and I like your instrument choices too.

I agree with the other comments about the reverb on the vocal, drop that down a bit and it will be perfect.

But a minor quibble, and it didn't take away from my enjoyment of your song.

Birchwood #557714 10/04/19 05:06 AM
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Nicely done! I thought it flowed really well, and the instrumentation was unique and really lush. Love the upbeat groove on it, and thought your vocals went perfectly. Thanks for sharing smile


Cheers,
Deryk
Birchwood #557718 10/04/19 05:33 AM
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I agree, really rolled along nicely. The words were cool, but remained in perspective as musical elements. Congratulations!


Link: www.soundcloud.com/ed_shaw (Feel Free to Use)
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Birchwood #557740 10/04/19 09:12 AM
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Nicely delivered big meaningful song , lyrically engaging with a great sound to go with it along the lines of Johnny cash as I hear it.

Thanks


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Birchwood #557959 10/05/19 09:48 PM
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Enjoyable groove, has sort of folk mood, I would call this city folk, brings images of imigrants playing in New York. Great arrangement, I especially like that solo guitarist (could you provide the realtrack number?) and the djembe drum. Good vocals. And nice message about time as a doctor.

Janne


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Birchwood #558005 10/06/19 08:42 AM
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Hi Hans,

Wow! I love this groove and it sits so very well with your vocals.

The intro was superb. You grabbed my attention right from the start and I didn't waver at any stage. In addition, your singing is excellent and through my headphones this morning it sounds confident, sincere and really well mixed with the backing.

The collection of Realtracks and Realdrums that you've used are awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed this musical journey.

All the best,
Noel


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Birchwood #558007 10/06/19 08:48 AM
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Hans, thoroughly enjoyable, great lyrics, creative and thought provoking.

This is really excellent all the way through.

The rhythmic undertones drive the music in an incredibly cool way. Excellent.


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Birchwood #558058 10/06/19 10:20 PM
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Hans,
Quite a powerful piece, nicely composed and an excellent set of backing tracks.

Strong vocal performance.

Some nice mix tips in the comments.

Well done.

Peter

Birchwood #558098 10/07/19 07:03 AM
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Cool song Hans!! Very pleasant listen....catchy and very well arranged and produced! As you say, interesting contrast between music and lyrics. Nice job!! Take care. Greg

Birchwood #558301 10/08/19 10:03 AM
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Hey, we like that a lot!

Cool mixture of backing tracks.

I think it was Tom Adams who once told us that a sad song can sometimes be presented best
with a contrasting upbeat groove.

This is a good example of that.

The mix sounds super on our monitors.

Well done!

J&B

Birchwood #558307 10/08/19 10:31 AM
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Lots of "sad" songs have upbeat music. We just don't always notice until we listen closer. Subversion of expectation. This certainly ends "hopeful" and happy, and if you're buying, I'd like to show up. The band is fantastic and you carry the extra-fine lyric well. I really enjoyed this.


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Birchwood #558351 10/08/19 08:09 PM
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Hans,

First off, terrific, just terrific vocal . . . but, yeah, just a slight downward adjustment on the reverb (it particularly shows in the latter half of the song), but otherwise it fits well with the rest of the tune. The instrumental supports this so well—really nice production touches on this. Good stuff!

My kindest regards,

Deej

Birchwood #558568 10/10/19 06:24 AM
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What a cool intro. Really cool mix on this song. The vocal and instruments really stood out. Super vocal as well


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
Birchwood #558691 10/10/19 08:00 PM
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Hello, 'Birchwood'...

Whatever the Real Tracks were that you applied to your song, It's On Me!, they combined to create a rhythm that was lively and attractive (Celtic, perhaps?). The small number of instruments lent a close, intimate feel to the music, which allowed the troubled lyrics to be heard clearly, in all their pain.

The singer (was it you?) delivered the lyrics in a voice that was intense, urgent, and unsparing. There is a 'nakedness' of emotion in the words that is barely contained. The experience of writing them must have been quite a personal 'trip', I imagine.

And yet, as you said, "...the music is a bit more sunny". That's true, and it provides an interesting contrast to the rather downbeat mood of the lyrics, as forum members 'Tangmo' and 'Greg Johnson' mentioned in their own comments on your song.

I found your production to be an arresting listening experience, 'Birchwood'!

Truly,

- bluage -


Last edited by bluage; 10/10/19 08:09 PM.

"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
Birchwood #558871 10/11/19 11:43 PM
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Hi everyone,

I am sorry I couldn't respond earlier. I was on Cyprus and couldn't figure out what my password was for our forum.
But it is truly a very nice experience reading all your posts one after the other. Nice homecoming, so thanks!

Misha, Ray, Dave Peter and Deej56 mentioned that reverb-issue (beside your compliments about the song). I also read the majority of the 'posters' said it sounded good. So what to do now...? Nah, I will correct it, you are right.

Deryk, Ed, Noel and Scott, thanks for your nice words and mentioning the supervocals (Scott). Beware, I may walk beside my shoes now (a Dutch saying, or maybe in every language).

VideoTrack, Greg, Janice and Bud, Tangmo, you mentioned a sad song can sometimes be presented by an upbeat to make the message gets more attention. That's exactly what I wanted here. Otherwise it would be so depressing listening to it. But sometimes it is also nice to have a nice melancolic melody with sad lyrics. The other way around will never work, I think. And Tangmo, you are very welcome; it's on me!

Beatmaster heard something of Johnny Cash in this song. I have sent your reply to my son (a Johnny Cash-fan). I think/hope he will show me more respect now ;-), so thanks for that.

And last but not least, Janne an Bluage; Yes, I sing, write and compose all my songs myself. On some occassions I asked Joanne Cooper to sing or sing along. And there is allways something personall in the lyrics. In this song, you are right, there were some serious troubles but writing about it works out fine. And I don't want songs to end sad. There must always be something to hold on to...
And Bluage, you can call me Hans if you like. Birchwood is my familyname translated in English. I used it since the 70ths when having a band and making music.

The instruments I used are all real tracks: Bas 2620, Cello 3270, Drums DjembeKeita Sw16, guitar 1 2779, guitar 2 3251 (bariton, el), guitar 3 (solo) 597 Bluegrass and finally the violin 2453. The style is Ditty and the tempo is 102.

Thanks to all of you for your kind and interesting words,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
Birchwood #558923 10/12/19 06:51 AM
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Originally Posted By: Birchwood
And Bluage, you can call me Hans if you like. Birchwood is my familyname translated in English. I used it since the 70ths when having a band and making music.


Dear 'birchwood'...

'Hans,' it is, then smile smile smile. Thank you!

Sincerely,

LOREN (a.k.a. 'bluage')


"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
Birchwood #559272 10/15/19 04:30 AM
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Hans,

A cool sounding song. Interesting write.

The BAND that you chose is an excellent choice for the lyric.

I agree with the comments about the vocal - well done, but needs a little less volume and a little less reverb. The rest of the mix is good..

Again...a very interesting song and sound.

fj

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