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#557915 - 10/05/19 04:23 PM
[User Showcase]
Songbird
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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https://soundcloud.com/lawrence-olivier/songbird2865 piano 2488 Bowed Bass 1815 Acu Gtr 3268 Cello Songbird (9/26/2019) My brother found a songbird, that does not sing for me Though I may stroke her feathers, I hear no melody I strain my ear to catch a sound, but she is silent when I'm around My brother found a songbird My brother fell in love, and raised a family He built a home to keep them, a bond for all to see I strain my eyes to peer inside, for all my effort I am blind My brother found a songbird A silent pipers tune, heard only on the moon A jesters dance, this game of chance A shadow of a man My brother sailed away, like a gale upon the sea his wake divides the water, and blessed may he be I strain my tongue to say farewell, but I'm beholden to this spell My brother found a songbird My brother is the songbird, he lives in harmony And in my silence wonder, does he sometimes think of me I strain my heart to feel a beat, I pray the Lord my soul to keep May I be my brothers songbird, May I be my brothers songbird My brother found a songbird
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#557925 - 10/05/19 05:54 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2895
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2895
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
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A forlorn tale and one very well done.
Outsider tales appeal to me.
Three things struck me:
The pronunciation of "a" as "A" seemed to break the flow of a couple of lines
The level of the acoustic guitar means the string noises are louder and more apparent than the actual notes
&
Layering the bass & cello is hard work.
Edited by rayc (10/05/19 05:55 PM)
_________________________
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com
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#557926 - 10/05/19 06:03 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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Ray, thank you for listening and for the feedback.
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#557939 - 10/05/19 07:54 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1199
Loc: Maryland
Expert
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1199
Loc: Maryland
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Great voice, very good song, created a strong mood with your words
_________________________
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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#557946 - 10/05/19 09:31 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 976
Loc: Washington State
Expert
Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 976
Loc: Washington State
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'gruverider'...
Your song, Songbird, is striking, lyrically, musically, and in its perceived subtext.
The solo piano intro was immediate in its effect of clearing a quiet space in my head, as though I was observing someone standing alone in the midst of a jostling crowd. Right away, I wanted to know, “What is this man singing about in such a lonesome way?" I had to know what the song was about.
I really like the way the Real Track instruments were quietly introduced one after the other as the song progressed, building up drama and emotion. The sparse instrumentation kept me focused on the lyrics, which seem to describe a portrait of someone who is full of emotion that can’t be easily expressed.
Your vocal performance was like hearing someone in need calling out to the world. I am convinced that you were singing about a personal experience. Whether that’s true, or not, doesn’t matter, because it felt true to me.
Have you noticed the quotation that appears beneath my forum handle when I comment on a song? It reads, “Music is what feelings sound like.” Songbird is exactly, precisely the kind of song that defines the meaning of that statement.
Very sincerely,
- bluage -
Edited by bluage (10/05/19 09:34 PM)
_________________________
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
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#557947 - 10/05/19 09:50 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2643
Loc: South Africa
Veteran
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2643
Loc: South Africa
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Lawrence. This is an outstanding write and performance.
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#557973 - 10/06/19 06:17 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: TuneMonger]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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Great voice, very good song, created a strong mood with your words Thank you for listening and for the kind words.
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#557976 - 10/06/19 06:25 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: bluage]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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'gruverider'...
Your song, Songbird, is striking, lyrically, musically, and in its perceived subtext.
The solo piano intro was immediate in its effect of clearing a quiet space in my head, as though I was observing someone standing alone in the midst of a jostling crowd. Right away, I wanted to know, “What is this man singing about in such a lonesome way?" I had to know what the song was about.
I really like the way the Real Track instruments were quietly introduced one after the other as the song progressed, building up drama and emotion. The sparse instrumentation kept me focused on the lyrics, which seem to describe a portrait of someone who is full of emotion that can’t be easily expressed.
Your vocal performance was like hearing someone in need calling out to the world. I am convinced that you were singing about a personal experience. Whether that’s true, or not, doesn’t matter, because it felt true to me.
Have you noticed the quotation that appears beneath my forum handle when I comment on a song? It reads, “Music is what feelings sound like.” Songbird is exactly, precisely the kind of song that defines the meaning of that statement.
Very sincerely,
- bluage -
bluage, thank you for your generous comments. The song is both personal and dream-like. As when Freud said "you are everyone in your dream". And yes I have read your quote, very well put.
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#557977 - 10/06/19 06:25 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: JoanneCooper]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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Lawrence. This is an outstanding write and performance. Hello Joanne. Thank you very much.
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#557995 - 10/06/19 08:54 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5480
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Veteran
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5480
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
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HI Lawrence ...
This is such a wonderful listen. The opening line generates curiosity ... a pleasant curiosity. The several lines that follow stage a contrast between the subject of the song and his brother. the remainder of the song develops that concept in such a gentle manner. the drama of the lyric and the music tugs at the listener but does not bowl him over ... a perfect balance.
I truly enjoyed my listen. Your voice was the perfect vehicle for the delivery.. Such a great song ...
Alan
Edited by Al-David (10/06/19 02:57 PM)
_________________________
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#558006 - 10/06/19 11:44 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 12697
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Veteran
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 12697
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
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What an excellent presentation, Lawrence.
Sophisticated by means of the simple and gentle musical delivery.
Quite unique, with beautiful lyrics, and masterfully presented.
_________________________
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#558028 - 10/06/19 03:56 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2688
Veteran
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2688
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Lawrence,
so different from the other tunes you posted. Excellent composition and vocal delivery!
Beautiful piece.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha.
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#558054 - 10/07/19 12:23 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4087
Loc: Sydney Australia
Veteran
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4087
Loc: Sydney Australia
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Lawrence
A lovely song, great build and a wonderful vocal performance.
Great to hear a new one from you and you don't disappoint.
Peter
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#558094 - 10/07/19 09:56 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6222
Loc: Davis, CA
Veteran
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6222
Loc: Davis, CA
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BEAUTIFUL!!!! This is such a poetic, touching melancholy song, perfectly arranged and sung!!! A Masterpiece!!! Take care. Greg
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#558117 - 10/07/19 12:11 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 05/16/17
Posts: 1486
Expert
Registered: 05/16/17
Posts: 1486
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this is a prime example of less is more, I really enjoyed my listen and I thought it was crisp and clear, still delivering a good all round full sound well done on this one.
Thanks
_________________________
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#558149 - 10/07/19 04:56 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: Al-David]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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HI Lawrence ...
This is such a wonderful listen. The opening line generates curiosity ... a pleasant curiosity. The several lines that follow stage a contrast between the subject of the song and his brother. the remainder of the song develops that concept in such a gentle manner. the drama of the lyric and the music tugs at the listener but does not bowl him over ... a perfect balance.
I truly enjoyed my listen. Your voice was the perfect vehicle for the delivery.. Such a great song ...
Alan
Alen, Thank you very much for your comments. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.
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#558150 - 10/07/19 04:58 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: VideoTrack]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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What an excellent presentation, Lawrence.
Sophisticated by means of the simple and gentle musical delivery.
Quite unique, with beautiful lyrics, and masterfully presented. VideoTrack, very glad to hear you enjoyed it.
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#558189 - 10/08/19 12:52 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: gruverider]
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Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1273
Expert
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1273
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Always love piano-based sing-songwriter pieces. This is simply one of the most original, honest, and emotionally moving songs I've heard anywhere in a long time. I'm glad I listened by myself. It would be hard to explain the wet on my face elsewise. Thanks.
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#558216 - 10/08/19 05:24 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: Rustyspoon#]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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Lawrence,
so different from the other tunes you posted. Excellent composition and vocal delivery!
Beautiful piece.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha. Misha, yes as I was writing and arranging it, I felt like something about it was different but I just went with the song as it presented itself to me. Thank you for taking time to listen and comment.
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#558217 - 10/08/19 05:25 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Songbird
[Re: PeterF]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
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Lawrence
A lovely song, great build and a wonderful vocal performance.
Great to hear a new one from you and you don't disappoint.
Peter Peter, thank you and glad you liked it.
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