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#557915 - 10/05/19 04:23 PM [User Showcase] Songbird
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
https://soundcloud.com/lawrence-olivier/songbird

2865 piano

2488 Bowed Bass

1815 Acu Gtr

3268 Cello


Songbird (9/26/2019)


My brother found a songbird, that does not sing for me
Though I may stroke her feathers, I hear no melody

I strain my ear to catch a sound, but she is silent when I'm around
My brother found a songbird

My brother fell in love, and raised a family
He built a home to keep them, a bond for all to see

I strain my eyes to peer inside, for all my effort I am blind
My brother found a songbird


A silent pipers tune, heard only on the moon
A jesters dance, this game of chance
A shadow of a man

My brother sailed away, like a gale upon the sea
his wake divides the water, and blessed may he be

I strain my tongue to say farewell, but I'm beholden to this spell
My brother found a songbird



My brother is the songbird, he lives in harmony
And in my silence wonder, does he sometimes think of me

I strain my heart to feel a beat, I pray the Lord my soul to keep

May I be my brothers songbird, May I be my brothers songbird

My brother found a songbird

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#557925 - 10/05/19 05:54 PM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3271
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3271
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
A forlorn tale and one very well done.
Outsider tales appeal to me.
Three things struck me:
The pronunciation of "a" as "A" seemed to break the flow of a couple of lines
The level of the acoustic guitar means the string noises are louder and more apparent than the actual notes
&
Layering the bass & cello is hard work.


Edited by rayc (10/05/19 05:55 PM)
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rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#557926 - 10/05/19 06:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Ray, thank you for listening and for the feedback.

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#557939 - 10/05/19 07:54 PM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1362
Loc: Maryland
TuneMonger Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1362
Loc: Maryland
Great voice, very good song, created a strong mood with your words
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#557946 - 10/05/19 09:31 PM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 1097
Loc: Washington State
bluage Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 1097
Loc: Washington State
'gruverider'...

Your song, Songbird, is striking, lyrically, musically, and in its perceived subtext.

The solo piano intro was immediate in its effect of clearing a quiet space in my head, as though I was observing someone standing alone in the midst of a jostling crowd. Right away, I wanted to know, “What is this man singing about in such a lonesome way?" I had to know what the song was about.

I really like the way the Real Track instruments were quietly introduced one after the other as the song progressed, building up drama and emotion. The sparse instrumentation kept me focused on the lyrics, which seem to describe a portrait of someone who is full of emotion that can’t be easily expressed.

Your vocal performance was like hearing someone in need calling out to the world. I am convinced that you were singing about a personal experience. Whether that’s true, or not, doesn’t matter, because it felt true to me.

Have you noticed the quotation that appears beneath my forum handle when I comment on a song? It reads, “Music is what feelings sound like.” Songbird is exactly, precisely the kind of song that defines the meaning of that statement.

Very sincerely,

- bluage -




Edited by bluage (10/05/19 09:34 PM)
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"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".

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#557947 - 10/05/19 09:50 PM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2685
Loc: South Africa
JoanneCooper Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2685
Loc: South Africa
Lawrence. This is an outstanding write and performance.

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#557973 - 10/06/19 06:17 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: TuneMonger]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
Great voice, very good song, created a strong mood with your words
Thank you for listening and for the kind words.

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#557976 - 10/06/19 06:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: bluage]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Originally Posted By: bluage
'gruverider'...

Your song, Songbird, is striking, lyrically, musically, and in its perceived subtext.

The solo piano intro was immediate in its effect of clearing a quiet space in my head, as though I was observing someone standing alone in the midst of a jostling crowd. Right away, I wanted to know, “What is this man singing about in such a lonesome way?" I had to know what the song was about.

I really like the way the Real Track instruments were quietly introduced one after the other as the song progressed, building up drama and emotion. The sparse instrumentation kept me focused on the lyrics, which seem to describe a portrait of someone who is full of emotion that can’t be easily expressed.

Your vocal performance was like hearing someone in need calling out to the world. I am convinced that you were singing about a personal experience. Whether that’s true, or not, doesn’t matter, because it felt true to me.

Have you noticed the quotation that appears beneath my forum handle when I comment on a song? It reads, “Music is what feelings sound like.” Songbird is exactly, precisely the kind of song that defines the meaning of that statement.

Very sincerely,

- bluage -


bluage, thank you for your generous comments. The song is both personal and dream-like. As when Freud said "you are everyone in your dream". And yes I have read your quote, very well put.

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#557977 - 10/06/19 06:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: JoanneCooper]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Originally Posted By: JoanneCooper
Lawrence. This is an outstanding write and performance.
Hello Joanne. Thank you very much.

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#557995 - 10/06/19 08:54 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5532
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Al-David Offline
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5532
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
HI Lawrence ...

This is such a wonderful listen. The opening line generates curiosity ... a pleasant curiosity. The several lines that follow stage a contrast between the subject of the song and his brother. the remainder of the song develops that concept in such a gentle manner. the drama of the lyric and the music tugs at the listener but does not bowl him over ... a perfect balance.

I truly enjoyed my listen. Your voice was the perfect vehicle for the delivery.. Such a great song ...

Alan


Edited by Al-David (10/06/19 02:57 PM)
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#558006 - 10/06/19 11:44 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 13478
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
VideoTrack Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 13478
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
What an excellent presentation, Lawrence.

Sophisticated by means of the simple and gentle musical delivery.

Quite unique, with beautiful lyrics, and masterfully presented.
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#558028 - 10/06/19 03:56 PM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2969
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2969
Lawrence,
so different from the other tunes you posted. Excellent composition and vocal delivery!
Beautiful piece.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

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#558054 - 10/07/19 12:23 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4344
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4344
Loc: Sydney Australia
Lawrence

A lovely song, great build and a wonderful vocal performance.

Great to hear a new one from you and you don't disappoint.

Peter

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#558094 - 10/07/19 09:56 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
BEAUTIFUL!!!! This is such a poetic, touching melancholy song, perfectly arranged and sung!!! A Masterpiece!!! Take care. Greg

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#558117 - 10/07/19 12:11 PM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 05/16/17
Posts: 1614
beatmaster Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/16/17
Posts: 1614
this is a prime example of less is more, I really enjoyed my listen and I thought it was crisp and clear, still delivering a good all round full sound well done on this one.

Thanks
_________________________
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https://beatmaster1.bandcamp.com/releases


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#558149 - 10/07/19 04:56 PM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: Al-David]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Originally Posted By: Al-David
HI Lawrence ...

This is such a wonderful listen. The opening line generates curiosity ... a pleasant curiosity. The several lines that follow stage a contrast between the subject of the song and his brother. the remainder of the song develops that concept in such a gentle manner. the drama of the lyric and the music tugs at the listener but does not bowl him over ... a perfect balance.

I truly enjoyed my listen. Your voice was the perfect vehicle for the delivery.. Such a great song ...

Alan
Alen, Thank you very much for your comments. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.

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#558150 - 10/07/19 04:58 PM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: VideoTrack]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Originally Posted By: VideoTrack
What an excellent presentation, Lawrence.

Sophisticated by means of the simple and gentle musical delivery.

Quite unique, with beautiful lyrics, and masterfully presented.
VideoTrack, very glad to hear you enjoyed it.

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#558189 - 10/08/19 12:52 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1354
Tangmo Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1354
Always love piano-based sing-songwriter pieces. This is simply one of the most original, honest, and emotionally moving songs I've heard anywhere in a long time. I'm glad I listened by myself. It would be hard to explain the wet on my face elsewise. Thanks.
_________________________
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#558216 - 10/08/19 05:24 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Lawrence,
so different from the other tunes you posted. Excellent composition and vocal delivery!
Beautiful piece.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.
Misha, yes as I was writing and arranging it, I felt like something about it was different but I just went with the song as it presented itself to me. Thank you for taking time to listen and comment.

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#558217 - 10/08/19 05:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: Songbird [Re: PeterF]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
gruverider Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1831
Originally Posted By: PeterF
Lawrence

A lovely song, great build and a wonderful vocal performance.

Great to hear a new one from you and you don't disappoint.

Peter
Peter, thank you and glad you liked it.

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