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#557915 10/05/19 01:23 PM
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https://soundcloud.com/lawrence-olivier/songbird

2865 piano

2488 Bowed Bass

1815 Acu Gtr

3268 Cello


Songbird (9/26/2019)


My brother found a songbird, that does not sing for me
Though I may stroke her feathers, I hear no melody

I strain my ear to catch a sound, but she is silent when I'm around
My brother found a songbird

My brother fell in love, and raised a family
He built a home to keep them, a bond for all to see

I strain my eyes to peer inside, for all my effort I am blind
My brother found a songbird


A silent pipers tune, heard only on the moon
A jesters dance, this game of chance
A shadow of a man

My brother sailed away, like a gale upon the sea
his wake divides the water, and blessed may he be

I strain my tongue to say farewell, but I'm beholden to this spell
My brother found a songbird



My brother is the songbird, he lives in harmony
And in my silence wonder, does he sometimes think of me

I strain my heart to feel a beat, I pray the Lord my soul to keep

May I be my brothers songbird, May I be my brothers songbird

My brother found a songbird

gruverider #557925 10/05/19 02:54 PM
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A forlorn tale and one very well done.
Outsider tales appeal to me.
Three things struck me:
The pronunciation of "a" as "A" seemed to break the flow of a couple of lines
The level of the acoustic guitar means the string noises are louder and more apparent than the actual notes
&
Layering the bass & cello is hard work.

Last edited by rayc; 10/05/19 02:55 PM.

Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
gruverider #557926 10/05/19 03:03 PM
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Ray, thank you for listening and for the feedback.

gruverider #557939 10/05/19 04:54 PM
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Great voice, very good song, created a strong mood with your words


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gruverider #557946 10/05/19 06:31 PM
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'gruverider'...

Your song, Songbird, is striking, lyrically, musically, and in its perceived subtext.

The solo piano intro was immediate in its effect of clearing a quiet space in my head, as though I was observing someone standing alone in the midst of a jostling crowd. Right away, I wanted to know, “What is this man singing about in such a lonesome way?" I had to know what the song was about.

I really like the way the Real Track instruments were quietly introduced one after the other as the song progressed, building up drama and emotion. The sparse instrumentation kept me focused on the lyrics, which seem to describe a portrait of someone who is full of emotion that can’t be easily expressed.

Your vocal performance was like hearing someone in need calling out to the world. I am convinced that you were singing about a personal experience. Whether that’s true, or not, doesn’t matter, because it felt true to me.

Have you noticed the quotation that appears beneath my forum handle when I comment on a song? It reads, “Music is what feelings sound like.” Songbird is exactly, precisely the kind of song that defines the meaning of that statement.

Very sincerely,

- bluage -



Last edited by bluage; 10/05/19 06:34 PM.

"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
gruverider #557947 10/05/19 06:50 PM
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Lawrence. This is an outstanding write and performance.


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TuneMonger #557973 10/06/19 03:17 AM
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Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
Great voice, very good song, created a strong mood with your words
Thank you for listening and for the kind words.

bluage #557976 10/06/19 03:25 AM
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Originally Posted By: bluage
'gruverider'...

Your song, Songbird, is striking, lyrically, musically, and in its perceived subtext.

The solo piano intro was immediate in its effect of clearing a quiet space in my head, as though I was observing someone standing alone in the midst of a jostling crowd. Right away, I wanted to know, “What is this man singing about in such a lonesome way?" I had to know what the song was about.

I really like the way the Real Track instruments were quietly introduced one after the other as the song progressed, building up drama and emotion. The sparse instrumentation kept me focused on the lyrics, which seem to describe a portrait of someone who is full of emotion that can’t be easily expressed.

Your vocal performance was like hearing someone in need calling out to the world. I am convinced that you were singing about a personal experience. Whether that’s true, or not, doesn’t matter, because it felt true to me.

Have you noticed the quotation that appears beneath my forum handle when I comment on a song? It reads, “Music is what feelings sound like.” Songbird is exactly, precisely the kind of song that defines the meaning of that statement.

Very sincerely,

- bluage -


bluage, thank you for your generous comments. The song is both personal and dream-like. As when Freud said "you are everyone in your dream". And yes I have read your quote, very well put.

JoanneCooper #557977 10/06/19 03:25 AM
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Originally Posted By: JoanneCooper
Lawrence. This is an outstanding write and performance.
Hello Joanne. Thank you very much.

gruverider #557995 10/06/19 05:54 AM
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HI Lawrence ...

This is such a wonderful listen. The opening line generates curiosity ... a pleasant curiosity. The several lines that follow stage a contrast between the subject of the song and his brother. the remainder of the song develops that concept in such a gentle manner. the drama of the lyric and the music tugs at the listener but does not bowl him over ... a perfect balance.

I truly enjoyed my listen. Your voice was the perfect vehicle for the delivery.. Such a great song ...

Alan

Last edited by Al-David; 10/06/19 11:57 AM.

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gruverider #558006 10/06/19 08:44 AM
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What an excellent presentation, Lawrence.

Sophisticated by means of the simple and gentle musical delivery.

Quite unique, with beautiful lyrics, and masterfully presented.


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gruverider #558028 10/06/19 12:56 PM
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Lawrence,
so different from the other tunes you posted. Excellent composition and vocal delivery!
Beautiful piece.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

gruverider #558054 10/06/19 09:23 PM
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Lawrence

A lovely song, great build and a wonderful vocal performance.

Great to hear a new one from you and you don't disappoint.

Peter

gruverider #558094 10/07/19 06:56 AM
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BEAUTIFUL!!!! This is such a poetic, touching melancholy song, perfectly arranged and sung!!! A Masterpiece!!! Take care. Greg

gruverider #558117 10/07/19 09:11 AM
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this is a prime example of less is more, I really enjoyed my listen and I thought it was crisp and clear, still delivering a good all round full sound well done on this one.

Thanks


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Al-David #558149 10/07/19 01:56 PM
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Originally Posted By: Al-David
HI Lawrence ...

This is such a wonderful listen. The opening line generates curiosity ... a pleasant curiosity. The several lines that follow stage a contrast between the subject of the song and his brother. the remainder of the song develops that concept in such a gentle manner. the drama of the lyric and the music tugs at the listener but does not bowl him over ... a perfect balance.

I truly enjoyed my listen. Your voice was the perfect vehicle for the delivery.. Such a great song ...

Alan
Alen, Thank you very much for your comments. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.

AudioTrack #558150 10/07/19 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted By: VideoTrack
What an excellent presentation, Lawrence.

Sophisticated by means of the simple and gentle musical delivery.

Quite unique, with beautiful lyrics, and masterfully presented.
VideoTrack, very glad to hear you enjoyed it.

gruverider #558189 10/07/19 09:52 PM
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Always love piano-based sing-songwriter pieces. This is simply one of the most original, honest, and emotionally moving songs I've heard anywhere in a long time. I'm glad I listened by myself. It would be hard to explain the wet on my face elsewise. Thanks.


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Rustyspoon# #558216 10/08/19 02:24 AM
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Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Lawrence,
so different from the other tunes you posted. Excellent composition and vocal delivery!
Beautiful piece.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.
Misha, yes as I was writing and arranging it, I felt like something about it was different but I just went with the song as it presented itself to me. Thank you for taking time to listen and comment.

PeterF #558217 10/08/19 02:25 AM
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Originally Posted By: PeterF
Lawrence

A lovely song, great build and a wonderful vocal performance.

Great to hear a new one from you and you don't disappoint.

Peter
Peter, thank you and glad you liked it.

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