PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase Your Song, a kind of lovestory

Hi everyone,

I made Your Song https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/your-song
as a lovestory though it actually isn't. It was written as a story that every average songwriter fears; your songs will not be heard again after a while. Of course this always happens, but it can hurt a bit.
Unless you realize the real reason why you make your songs; they make you feel happy yourself!

Well, this song is made in the key of Gm, the tempo is 100. The style is Titel: LUNAR.STY

RealTracks: ~518:Bas, Electric
RealTracks: 2932:Acoustic guitar, Fingerpicking Songwriter
RealTracks: 1945:Acoustic guitar, Groovin Folk
RealTracks: 3552:Multi[Thickened=5] Vocal Oohs-Aahs, Rhythm Pop3-part Ev 085
RealTracks: 3154:Fiddle, 5-string Folk RockNRoll
RealTracks: 1840:Synth Pad, Pop Modern Groove Mellow
RealDrums : JazzFunkUrban^1-a:Picolo Snare, Ride , b:Picolo Snare, HiHat

I also added a drum and some other effects from Native instruments, and a bunch of girls from Realitone The Ladies as an extra harmony choir.

Stefan had some complains about my lyrics, but I left them unchanged ;-)
I hope you like it!

The lyrics:
Your song
(c) HwB 17-02-2020

On times when I laid ill in my bed,
you sat close by but never looked sad
You started singing  a lovely tender song
which melts the hearts of all who walked along,
But I did not see,  this song was about me

Your precious vocals, that melancholic sound
For all times we spent, this was our bound
Still I can't believe what happened on our way
All these waves of beauty ended that sorry day
But I did not see,  your song was about me

Oh, I have that feeling
your song will soon be heard
And it'll be you who sing it like a bird
I have to hear it, someday

Yes, I have that feeling
your song must be heard
And it'll be you who sing it like a bird
Oh, I will hear it, one day...

I searched all places, heard many tragedies
But none could connect me to my memories
Your song kept pounding in my head
Finding you ain't easy, much to my regred
But I did not see, this song is about me

=solo=

Oh, I have that feeling
your song will soon be heard
And it'll be you who sing it like a bird
I have to hear it, someday

Yes, I have a feeling
your song must be heard
And it'll be you who sing it like a bird
I know for sure,

Ooh, my emotions
They hurt me every day
Don't let your song fade away.
Please sing it like it was, back then with me

And I cry vehemently
come sing your song again
And I hope then you sing more
about me...

Oh, I have that feeling
your song will soon be heard
And it'll be you who sing it like a bird
I have to hear it, someday

Yes, I have a feeling
your song must be heard
And it'll be you who sing it like a bird
I have to hear it, again...

I like it. Great use of BIAB. Lyrics sing so true. Nice mix. Yes, this is a very pretty song.

Cool lyric and vocal Hans. The backtrack was excellent. Excellent voice of instruments. Boy do they frame your vocal. Well done

That shaker centre left crowds & drowns the vocal the one in the centre is much better.
Some of the doubled vocals aren't quite in time and blurred the words every now & then as a consequence.
The high female vocal gets a little annoying after a while.
I think Stephan & I would probably concur regarding lyrical editing on this track.
Pretty nifty work - some nits here n there but the song works.

What a good songs Hans, really enjoyed the listen

Really well done - I love the way it flows, and the lyricism is stunning here. It makes for a really engaging and pretty tune. I found the mixing on this to be quality too.

Thanks for sharing

Hans

An enjoyable song, nicely composed sung and performed - catchy chorus.
Perhaps the vocal in the chorus is a touch loud?

Overall very good work.

Peter

Good job, had some energy that I really, really liked. I'm getting more and more used to your vocal effects and realizing that you are a pretty good singer. I don't know if I could've discerned the subject matter had you not explained it, don't know if that is intentional or something to reconsider. Of course, some of the greatest songs ever required explanation. Who knew that Cowgirl in the Sand was just about a girl on a beach and nothing more than that?

News, Hans. They're all about me.

Well put-together. I like the break before the last choruses. I like this a lot.

Hi Jptjptjpt, Scott and Ray,

Thanks a lot for your kind and constructive compliments and criticism!
It is always nice to read such comments on something you have thought about and created, like this song.

Jptjptjpt (your nickname sounds like the chirping of a bird), thanks for your nice comment on the song and naming the lyrics!

Scott, Thanks you mentioning how the instruments framed this song. I was hesitating a bit about if that break at the end wasn't too dramatic. But after hearing it several times I liked it more and more. And also thanks for the compliments about the lyrics as well!

Ray, you never disapoint me with your comment. And -as always- I have to agree with what you noticed. But only after you wrote it.
1. The annoying ladies were told to sing less.
2. The shaker and drums are removed and instead I added another drum instrument from Native Instruments.
3. I had some spare takes for the doubled voices and replaced them. They must be more in line now.
4. I also asked you what kind of mistakes I made in my lyrics in a private post. I was pleasantly surprised to receive the corrected lyrics! Luckily there weren't any 'big' mistakes in it and they also differ from the words Stefan thought were wrong (I am teasing him now), but still they must be seen as mistakes. So thanks a lot for your effort!
I can't change this though, because I will be in Spain for a week. You have to wait till I'm back. I think by then this song is probably on page 21 of this forum...

I might be able to answer the other posts next week, so don't walk away!

Hans

Well said, Hans, and this song will surely make you happy. Great story idea, and well disguised as a love song --which it actually is, your love of life and the music that flows through you. Wonderful lyrics and melody. It seems there's a high pitch noise before the music starts, but that could be just these old ears. Thanks for sharing!

Hans,
The intro establishing the style is cool- love the 5-string fiddle track throughout this.
Lyrics in the verses seem concentrated with different meanings; I like the ambiguity and then release into a more hopeful sounding chorus.
I think you`ve tweaked the doubled vocal- it sounded ok to me.
Strong lead vocal, as always; you are an original bird!

Robert

Really liked this one, Hans! That chorus is especially strong and memorable.

Hi Graham, Deryk, Peter, TuneMonger and Tangmo,

Thanks for your compliments on the song. I was pleased to read them.

Graham, I appreciate you like the song!

Deryk, you called the lyricism stunning, that’s nice of you to say, considering the ‘discussion’ about this issue. And I am pleased to read you liked the way the song was mixed. I am improving my skills on that more and more. One day...

Peter, thanks for the compliments. I haven’t noticed the vocals are too loud. But because the lyrics contain some mistakes I record them again when I am back home. I am in Spain now.

TuneMonger, thanks for your explicit compliments! Yes it was intentional to write the lyrics a bit like a ‘hidden’ message. There’s always a danger people don’t understand that or see it. For them it’s a lovestory. What I like with lyrics and songs is that people start discussing what the writer really meant. Nothing is what it likes. Not like your -nice- example of the cowgirl. But even there the same discussion was on.

Tangmo, Haha! I think we have to work on that then. BiaB provided us some nice tools. We make the songs, but then... And yes, that break. It was my plan to end the song before that, but than felt I missed something. That was the ‘birth’ of this dramatic ending.

Hans

Hans,
You like that high end of EQ, don't you? Your voice is clear as it is, it is not muddy as mine... Just saying

I am glad that I waited till today to listen to it calmly, without rushing. I like this tune the most of yours what I heard. Period.

P.S. "the real reason why you make your songs; they make you feel happy yourself!" That is a excellent slogan..! Perhaps a tattoo?

Enjoyed it! Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Hans,

The emotion is very evident in this...in both the writing and the singing.

The band that you have put together carries it well.

fj

Hi Marty, Robert, Dave, Misha and Floyd,

I’m answering you in the middle of the night from an appartement in the center of Malaga, Spain. I woke up, couldn’t sleep and decided to answer your posts. That’s what you do on holidays, don’t you ;-)

Thanks for your nice comments on the song. I will walk them through:

Marty, I haven’t heard that high pitch in the beginning of the song. It could be in the frequency were my tinnitus plays a dangerous role. Thought I haven’t heard other complains about this issue yet. Misha recalled the same sentence as you (the reason you make music), only he wants me to tattoo it on my body. In times I like to ‘hide’ the real topic of the song, but maybe that’s a strange habit of me from days behind when having questions like ‘what does the writer means with ...’.

Robert, It’s nice you mentioned that 5 string violin. In the first version of the song it even played a more important role. But the sound of it is a bit difficult to deal with. It can dominate too. I’m glad you hear the ambiguity in the lyrics solves in the choruses. To me it was only hope it will happen... one day.

Dave, I am starting to believe you are really a fan of my work. I’m proud of that fact! Although what you think I am of your work? And what you wrote about the choruses is very nice. The break, the yelling lady and the choruses after that worked out very well indeed.

Misha, I don’t use high end on eq on my vocals. But are the vocals to sharp? You know I have struggled a lot with those eq settings. But for some songs now you write ‘this is your nicest tune or mix’, so I know I’m on the right track improving my skills. I like it you like the same sentence as Marty does, but my wife has rejected your proposal tattooing it on my body. She want to believe it’s her making me happy. And it’s a lot of text to tattoo both...

Floyd, I must have achieved a higher level with my musical skills more, reading your comment. Normally you add some kind advice. Thanks for that.

Kind regards,
Hans

Hi Hans ...

Great, emotional lyric and the band you assembled is perfect for the song. I really like your vocal effects but they do add quite a bit of high frequency to your voice. But not enough to make them less than a wonderful listen.

And you are right ... our songs agree precious to us, most of the time, and when they just fade away, it can make us a bit sad.

Great stuff! Wishing you the best ...

Alan

We really enjoyed this Hans.

As mentioned the chorus really sticks with you...in a good way.

You cool vocal combines with the good "band" to provide
a nice flow as various well chosen RT's work together.

We like the ambiguity or the "connect your own dots" aspect
to the lyric - not too abstract and leaving plenty of room
to perhaps add a bit of one's own story.

Well done!

J&B

Hans,
This is different... I like this song on personal level, but one of your best mixes to my taste is on "All that Talking".

To me the arrangement & vocal idea - bones of the song are the most important things. Production less. If I have to put in percentage it would be something like 75%-song idea(music+vocals)/ 25% the rest (mixing etc.)

So to me, this tune has the form and "seed" that talks to me. All other stuff can be managed Yes, I think vocals are a bit sharp. I believe it is not how how sing it, but fx you use.

Best regards,
Misha.