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#607737 - 07/24/20 04:26 AM [User Showcase] We're Better than This
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
SpaceDog Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
Greetings Forum Friends

I regret my absence for such a long time. I've had my hands full with a difficult 1-year old GIANT puppy and all the challenges from the pandemic.

We found time to publish our first EP "Keep Looking Up" back in February. Here the link: Keep Looking Up


But this post is for our new song "We're Better Than This"

We're Better Than This

https://soundclick.com/r/s8dvyw

The events of 2020 have been distressing. This song expresses our concern.



Edited by SpaceDog (07/24/20 04:25 PM)

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#607910 - 07/25/20 08:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5967
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5967
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Another excellent song. Very cool lyrics. Well done

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#607918 - 07/25/20 08:56 AM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10738
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10738
Loc: GA USA
Nice lyric indeed and production to go with it!

J&B

PS Would like to see the RT's, etc and lyrics!
_________________________
J&B Soundcloud
J&B YouTube
J&B Website

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#607939 - 07/25/20 10:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
SpaceDog Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
Scott, Janice, Bud,

Thanks for listening and commenting. I'll post a new version next week after getting more feedback.

Stay safe and well.

SD

Here are the RTs and lyrics

Style is _POPFAST.STY (Fast Pop w/ Dreamy Electric Guit)

RealTracks in style: ~~519:Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~522:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~406:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 136
RealTracks in style: ~~543:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Dreamy Ev 120
RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^8-a:Snare, HiHat Open , b:Snare, Ride

Added:
1031-String Electric, Fingerpicking Ev 165

We’re Better Than This
7/9/20
Intro: Am G F G Am G F G C
Verse 1:
C F
I stood up to be counted; To keep our land safe and free
Dm C G7
Now the tensions have mounted and they’re taking their aim at me

Verse 2:
C F
This isn’t what I fought for This isn’t who we are
Dm C G7
Together we are much more Than when we’re torn apart

Chorus x2
Am G
We’re better than this. We’re taking a risk
F G
1. We’re on the edge of a precipice
2. Give up your hate and prejudice
Am G
We won’t be dismissed. ‘cause We’re better than this.
E7 G Am
Let’s find a way to coexist

Bridge:
Dm C G
Don’t you know that history can’t be recast
Dm C E7
The only way ahead is learning from the past

Reintro: Am G F G Am G F G C
Verse 3:
C F
I never thought it would be this way The trampled rights for which we stand
Dm C G7
These nightmare scenes ‘cross the USA only fracture our land

Verse 4:
C F
Build a bridge and not a wall Don’t let our differences divide us
Dm C G7 C
Make it great for one an all Let our common dreams unite us.

Chorus x2
Am G
We’re better than this. We’re taking a risk
F G
1. We’re falling in to a great abyss
2. Give up your hate and prejudice
Am G
We won’t be dismissed. ‘cause We’re better than this.
E7 G Am
Let’s find a way to coexist

Outro: Am G F G Am G F G A




Edited by SpaceDog (07/25/20 10:43 AM)

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#607996 - 07/25/20 05:33 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4327
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4327
Loc: Sacramento, California
Nicely done!

But... who are you addressing?

Edit: This isn't meant as a political critique of the song, or say that you should be pointing your finger at anyone. I'm just saying that I couldn't figure out out. Since that's possibly not even the goal of the song, feel free to ignore what follows. laugh

I've read through the lyric multiple times, and it seems like you're trying to tread a fine line without calling out one side or another.

For example, "We won’t be dismissed" is what a protester might say, while "These nightmare scenes ‘cross the USA only fracture our land", is how someone might respond to a protester.

"Build a bridge and not a wall" sounds anti-wall, while "Make it great for one an all" sounds like MAGA.

We're in a political environment where every side claims their rights are trampled, that it's the other side trying to rewrite/whitewash history, and it's the other side that's filled with hate and prejudice.

Will the people you're calling to action see themselves in the lyrics, or will they see it as a call for someone else to change?

_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#607999 - 07/25/20 05:41 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4351
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4351
Loc: Sydney Australia
Good melody throughout, enjoyed the harmonies in the chorus and overall songwriting.

Nicely done.

Peter

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#608022 - 07/25/20 10:06 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3290
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3290
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Nice melody on the piano..I think the push to use the one rhyme in the chorus is a little obvious.
Nice arrangement and performance though your vocal is hesitant in the 1st verse.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#608034 - 07/26/20 05:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
SpaceDog Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
Peter, Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

Ray, Thanks for the feedback. The rhyme scheme in the chorus probably is too monotonous. I'll remember that next time, As for the "hesitant" sound in the first verse, I'll check my timing but I was going for a sense of uncertainty and vulnerability.

Dave, Thanks for your thoughtful comment and taking the time to analyze the lyrics.

For me music and art is about the listener and audience. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So the real question should be, "what does it mean to you?" not what does it mean to the artist. Is John Lennon imagining a better world or was he advocating communism? Was "Puff the Magic Dragon" about a boy and his magical dragon or was it about smoking dope? It's up to us, the listener.

I like the line in the Buffalo Springfield song "For What it's Worth" that goes "Nobody is right if everybody's wrong"

I stand by each lyric in this song. It expresses exactly how I feel, but the important question is, "How does it make you feel?"

Again, thanks for the very thoughtful review.

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#608050 - 07/26/20 06:28 AM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Tano Music Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Great job, SpaceDog! Nice composition all the way around. Vocal harmonies are first-class, and I liked your lyric and rhyme scheme and selection of words (I think you avoided some "easy" rhymes and got to words that delivered value). Thanks for your work

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#608062 - 07/26/20 07:44 AM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 1192
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
BabuMusic Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 1192
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
Great sentiment, SpaceDog! I really like the melody. Although I understand Dave's query, and his logic, I appreciate your reply. Yes, we ARE better than this, and rather than a call to arms, this song seems more about a call to calm. I'm so glad that at least on THIS forum we are ALL better than those others. hehe One suggestion will make this better would be to add some reverb or something to your voice. All that aside, great song, man.
_________________________
Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

Babu Music on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLDrsXTXfShgnGalQZ0ElQw
Me on SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub

My website: http://martystraub.com/

using Band in a Box, Reaper & Cakewalk

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#608148 - 07/26/20 05:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1343
Loc: Denmark
Will Josef Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1343
Loc: Denmark
You have some problems in the USA in the moment that I will try not to get involved in... smile

I will just say that I liked the composition and the performance of this song!

Thanks for sharing,
Will

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#608158 - 07/26/20 05:35 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
SpaceDog Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
Tano, Thanks I've been a fan of yours for several years. Thanks for listening.

Marty, Thanks for your kind comments. I'll add a bit of reverb to the lead vocal. I was trying to make it close and personal by keeping the vocal dry. Everyone seems to agree it should have some reverb.

Will, Thanks for listening and commenting. My wife and I visited your lovely county many years ago. We have wonderful memories of Coppenhagen and Tivoli Gardens.

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#608160 - 07/26/20 05:39 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1343
Loc: Denmark
Will Josef Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1343
Loc: Denmark
Thanks for your nice words about Denmark. You are of course always welcome again (when the governments open up for travelling).

Take care,
Will

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#608206 - 07/27/20 04:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7789
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7789
Cool song. Well done. I didn't try to analyze the lyric too much. Seems like good advice that most people would agree with. If only the powers that be would stop trying to divide us.... And if people would stop listening to them, we could easily coexist in peace.
_________________________
You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#608276 - 07/27/20 06:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
SpaceDog Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
Herb, Thanks for listening. I'm glad you liked it.

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#608298 - 07/28/20 12:18 AM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5532
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5532
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
SD ...

Very nicely done. As I think you might know, I'm also an author (got several books on Amazon under my penn name). I always try to leave a little room for the reader to make their own perceptions in places ... that allows him/her to more personalize what I've written and, perhaps, develop a stronger "kinship" with the story. I think that's what you are doing with this lyric. You're allowing the listener to personalize the lyric such that they can better identify with the message on a personal level.

I enjoyed the song a lot. This is, in my opinion, your best vocal in quite some time. Everything sounded great! Nicely done ...

Best to you. Be safe, my friend ...

Alan
_________________________
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Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


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#608419 - 07/28/20 06:02 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
SpaceDog Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1026
Loc: Maryland
Alan,

Thank you for the kind and thoughtful comment. Leave it to a professional author to find the right words. Yes, that's exactly what I was trying to do: leave room for interpretation and invite the listener to make it personal and their own.

I'm glad you liked the vocal tracks. I put a lot of emotion into the lead vocal. I'm always surprised when the Background Vocals sound good. I have to carefully plan the harmonies. They don't come naturally.

Best wishes and take care of yourself and your family.

SD


Edited by SpaceDog (07/28/20 06:54 PM)

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#608433 - 07/28/20 07:39 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
SD, this is very well sung and I liked the signature piano lick. The harmony sounds good also. I agree with the the good advice. Nicely done, Tom

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#608578 - 07/29/20 05:41 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 535
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Leon1 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 535
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Well produced song with a catchy melody. Personally I liked the 'dry' vocal sound - thought it lent your voice an immediacy that suited the thoughtful lyrics.
Regards,
Leon

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#608899 - 07/31/20 04:05 PM [User Showcase] Re: We're Better than This [Re: SpaceDog]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1445
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1445
Loc: Virginia USA
My favorite line: "Build a bridge and not a wall."

I enjoyed the instrumentation, melody, and overall feel of this song. The mix is clear. Good vocals.

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