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#617420 - 10/01/20 10:53 AM [User Showcase] The Silence
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
I broke a heart once.

Here is the story.



THE SILENCE

it's a quarter past a late hour
most the lights are gone
along with those who have the sense
but i'm still hanging on
not far down the block i see
in the night a bit of dawn
from the second floor apartment
of another hanger-on
lonliness ain't quite so bad
when you know you're not alone
the silence helps you hurt a little more

the light from the window's familiar
but it didn't use to cry
i hang my head to the things it says
'cause i'm the reason why
there's a river of pain flowing by my door
and half the tears are mine
it's hard to see how i could be
so foolish and so unkind
but the fault must lie somewhere between
so, she's half of who's to blame
and the silence helps her hurt a little more

it's a quarter past an early hour
still the cries are heard
pouring shadows down into the street
sharp, accusing words
sometimes i fear i might go back
it's hard to stay away
but i sit and watch the light stay on
and try to keep out of its way
loneliness is twice as hard
'cause i know that she's alone
the silence helps me hurt a little more

©1977 floyd jane



The BAND parts:

EZKeys tracks
MIDI SuperTracks in song: 2066:Piano, Rhythm NewAgeAnswers Ev16 110
MIDI SuperTracks in song: 2831:Piano, Rhythm GospelSlowBalladMike Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 2338:Violin, Background, PopLow Ev 085 (1TrackStringSection)
RealTracks in song: 2337:Violin, Background, PopHigh Ev 085 (1TrackStringSection)
I created a strings track and a flute track using Spitfire BBC Orchestra
Harmonies created in RealBand using Helicon plugin
Me: lyrics, music, vocal, production, strings, flute, mix, master, art work


Comments of any kind...
Have at it.

fj

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#617427 - 10/01/20 11:29 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8250
Guitarhacker Offline
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Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8250
Nice one.... kinda reminds me of Jackson Brown with the piano as the main instrument.

You done good on the production and choice of instruments.
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Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#617442 - 10/01/20 02:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4812
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Offline
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Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4812
Loc: Sydney Australia
floyd

Lovely work on the backing, expertly arranged and produced. The piano sounded great and the strings were very genre specific.

Sad lyric matched by the evocative music and a vocal that is nicely emotive.

Wonderful songwriting.

Peter

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#617465 - 10/01/20 08:42 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 4430
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 4430
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
A lovely song, yes a bit Jackson brown but a lot fj.
There're a few spots where the vocal & harmony are aggressive like on "the light..." usually the 1st couple of syllables of a phrase. That could be left as is or a tiny bit of level automation could temper it.
You did a fab job with a sparse arrangement and dynamic textures.
Excellent - as usual.
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rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe

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#617471 - 10/02/20 01:43 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4344
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
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Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4344
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Really good, floyd, as per usual smile

Those harmonies ... magnificent! I'll need to research Helicon.

And the vocal overall sounds fabulous, nice and warm, just the right amount of presence.

Piano sounds great too, are you running the MIDI SuperTrack through EZKeys? Also really like the cello and strings.

Songwriting at it's best, loved it.

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#617476 - 10/02/20 02:38 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7146
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
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Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7146
Loc: South Carolina
A 1977 write. Had me wonder how close to the original version what we hear in 2020 remains? A walk with no destination on a journey that never ends... Perfect setting for loneliness and silence. Enjoyed my listen.
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#617489 - 10/02/20 04:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Tano Music Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
I also noticed, right off the bat, that this is work that was done a long time ago, so I was immediately interested in hearing the “early” Floyd. I especially liked that your stanzas ended with an impersonal “you” , then “she”, and finally “me”..a kind of progressively-personalizing reflection. And you had some really nice intra-line rhymes..to me, these are like little verbal Velcro hooks that keep you listening closely. As others have said, the musical setting and performance are top-notch...the only thing I would have done differently is maybe a vocal repeat of that last phrase, but that’s just personal preference...excellent!
PS..I’ll add my vote to some feedback on how this might be different from your 1977 performance of same.

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#617490 - 10/02/20 04:16 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 01/03/14
Posts: 606
vicarn Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 01/03/14
Posts: 606
Nothing not to like here as usual Floyd.
Lovely sound and poignant lyric.

Vic

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#617514 - 10/02/20 07:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Very, very well done. I find it fascinating when users post old songs they wrote, re-imagined with Band-in-a-Box. You wrote this over 40 years ago and it still holds up - thanks for sharing smile
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Deryk

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#617515 - 10/02/20 07:23 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/13/13
Posts: 827
olemon Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/13/13
Posts: 827
I love this one, Floyd. It's genuine and emotional and your telling of it draws the listener in.

The vocal performance has to be one of your best. The blend of your voice and the piano is just right, especially in those critical first few seconds, and there's a spaciousness too that's pleasing and natural that fits the setting.

From the first lyric I was like, 'Wow! This is good!'
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#617536 - 10/02/20 08:54 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1749
Loc: Illinois
CaptainMoto Offline
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Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1749
Loc: Illinois
Can't say enough.
Just excellent should do it!

Well told story.
Delivered with skill and emotion.
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#617541 - 10/02/20 09:39 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3179
Robertkc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3179
Floyd,
Beautiful and heartfelt songwriting. The story, internal as it is, has a nice arc with the subtle changes on the chorus last lines reminding there are real changing lives involved.
A fine simple arrangement and clear strong vocals; its all very, very good!

Robert

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#617572 - 10/02/20 04:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1791
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1791
Loc: Virginia USA
Such an emotionally-gripping, poignant song. This one goes on my list of top Floyd songs. Beautifully arranged and performed.

You broke a heart once? Just once?

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#617592 - 10/02/20 05:56 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2903
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2903
Loc: Victoria, BC
You're always such a good story teller! Thanks for taking the time to share this one with us.
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Cheers,
Ember

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#617608 - 10/02/20 11:33 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5897
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Al-David Offline
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5897
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Floyd ...

I'll keep it simple, like your song.


Emotional.

A simplicity that says it all.

A bold truth.

Every single thing it needs and not the slight of what it doesn't.

Captivating, both musically and lyrically.


That pretty much says it all for me. Best to you and yours and please be safe.

Alan


Edited by Al-David (10/02/20 11:35 PM)
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#617619 - 10/03/20 12:45 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1320
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1320
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Floyd,

Really pretty, really poignant. Excellent production—just the right balance and touches. Would be really curious to hear more about how this song may have evolved from its original 1977 write given the passage of time. Great stuff!

All my best,

Deej

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#617671 - 10/03/20 08:56 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: PeterF]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10208
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Nice one.... kinda reminds me of Jackson Brown with the piano as the main instrument.

You done good on the production and choice of instruments.


Thanks, Herb.


Originally Posted By: PeterF
floyd

Lovely work on the backing, expertly arranged and produced. The piano sounded great and the strings were very genre specific.

Sad lyric matched by the evocative music and a vocal that is nicely emotive.

Wonderful songwriting.

Peter


Thanks for the super comments, Peter...

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#617683 - 10/03/20 11:42 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Good write, as usual - even for a 40+ year old song. wink

The change of POV through the verses was notable.

The sparse instrumentation worked for me - the additional instrumentation were subtle and didn't distract.

The only nit was the harmonies - they were perhaps a bit too close rhythmically. These days, anything too perfect calls attention to itself as sounding unnatural. laugh

I enjoyed the song, which is really the important bit.
_________________________
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My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#617687 - 10/03/20 02:13 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1707
Loc: Maryland
TuneMonger Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1707
Loc: Maryland
Great song that reminded me a bit of Dan Fogelberg's Same Old Lang Syne. I liked everything about this one, including the harmonies. Superb work as always.
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#617701 - 10/03/20 04:02 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Silence [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Denmark
Will Josef Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Denmark
The way you can tell/sing a story is amazing. 1977-memories? It makes many of us curious of what really happened. wink

Fantastic work, Floyd!

Will

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