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#626982 - 12/02/20 08:16 AM [User Showcase] A Better Me
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9378
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9378
Loc: Florida
I lost count of the number of songs I've written a long time ago.
I would guess close to a thousand?
(several hundreds of those have been thrown away)
All considered, this is a personal favorite.

I asked Janice to join me for a harmony.



A BETTER ME

i wish there was a way to explain
why i left without a word
but i live in a constant rain
i hear devils even god ain't heard
i couldn't be the man you needed
or the one i thought that i should be
so i thumbed a ride to this start over town
thinking i might find a beter me
   
   a better me
   i need to shake this strange
   a better me
   'cause something needs to change
   and i'm willin' i'm hopin'
   i'm praying to see
   that winnin' hand
   a better me

i found steady work as a driller
it should last far as i can tell
soul drummin', mind numbin' 12 hour shifts
pulling oil up from somewhere in hell
got an open invitaion from the lutheran peacher
told him we'll just have to wait'n'see
i've actually considered showing up on sunday
thinking i might find a beter me
   
   a better me
   i need to shake this strange
   a better me
   'cause something needs to change
   i'm willin' i'm hopin'
   i'm praying to see
   a miracle
   a better me
   
   i'm willin' i'm hopin'
   i'm praying to see
   a miracle
   a better me


The BAND:

RealTracks in style: ~~2477:Bass, Acoustic, HeldSimple Sw 085
RealTracks in style: 2441:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking HipFolk Sw16 85
RealTracks in song: 2952:Strings, Rhythm JazzBalladPads Sw 060
RealTracks in song: 2558:Cello, Background SlowSwing Sw 065
RealTracks in song: 2543 Pedal Steel, Background ModernCrossover Sw16 090.
RealDrums in style: NashvilleSwing16^5-a:Sidestick, Hihat , b:Snare, Hihat

harmony: Janice Merritt (Thanks, Sis!!)

Me: words & music, vocals, acoustic lead, production/arrangement/mix, art work


One of the RT players seemed to enjoy this.
Hope you do as well...
Comments welcome.

fj

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#626985 - 12/02/20 08:28 AM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1127
Loc: United Kingdom
musician17 Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1127
Loc: United Kingdom
You are a genius and no mistake, sir. "I live in a constant rain / I heard devils even God ain't heard" - wow. Hits hard but perfectly bullseye, so to speak, right in the heart.

So the lyrics are incredible. Your rendition of them is extraordinary, too. "I'm hoping". "as a driller". Your vocal inflexion on these (particularly on the first one) ... that's a musician's musician's inflexion :-)

The music is so melodic, and you just tell the story through it. I almost wanted to cry on the first listen.

What a great rendition. One of your personal favourites? Darn straight - one of mine, too. One of, if not indeed your best that I've heard so far on this forum.

Janice ... beautiful understated harmonies that add just the right amount of colour to the song.

A classic that I want to hear again and again. Well done.
_________________________
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#626996 - 12/02/20 08:55 AM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1062
Loc: Illinois
CaptainMoto Offline
Expert

Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1062
Loc: Illinois
I've hanging out here for a few months and I always look forward to your contributions.
They are all good, this one is right up there for me.

Well written and performed.
Janice's addition is brilliant, fits perfectly!

Wonderful mix.

moto
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#626997 - 12/02/20 08:57 AM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1062
Loc: Illinois
CaptainMoto Offline
Expert

Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1062
Loc: Illinois
I've hanging out here for a few months and I always look forward to your contributions.
They are all good, this one is right up there for me.

Well written and performed.
Janice's addition is brilliant, fits perfectly!
What's that little whisper at the end?


Wonderful mix.

moto
_________________________
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https://sites.google.com/view/captainmoto-com/home?authuser=0

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#627016 - 12/02/20 12:01 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/04/10
Posts: 2086
Loc: Midwest
HearToLearn Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/04/10
Posts: 2086
Loc: Midwest
Ya know, based on your last song, I thought I knew EXACTLY who you are as an artist. Now this comes at me WAY out of left field. wink

Great contrast of the verse and chorus...so, well balanced. The movement and build of the instruments shows someone knows there craft. Additionally heighted by sprinkling some instrument fills in here and there. Brilliant.

Quote:
i found steady work as a driller
it should last far as i can tell
soul drummin', mind numbin' 12 hour shifts
pulling oil up from somewhere in hell


This was KILLER!

I really enjoy this song all the way around.
_________________________
C.Aaron Madison
I often get asked how to pronounce my name.
"Ma-Duh-Sn" J/K wink
As people have left the "." out so many times, "Caaron" has become the norm of it. Still said as the "." was there though. smile


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#627033 - 12/02/20 12:47 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 783
Loc: Belgium
Derochette Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 783
Loc: Belgium
Hello Floyd Jane,

What I admire about you is your lyrics close to everyday reality with memories of a life that we have lived or that we could have lived and that we would have liked better. The melody is splendid. The timbre of the voice is full of emotion. I appreciated. Well done.

Kindly regard

Derochette
alias JaniJackFlah

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#627053 - 12/02/20 01:46 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3081
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3081
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Love the acoustic lead parts...they carry your personality even deeper into the song.
Lovely lyrics, lovelier melody.
Wonderful harmony, (it's a Janice morning clearly), and clear, clean arrangement.
The player on the end 's whisper is perfect.
The ONLY not is the click in the kick which, to me, stands out too much in the sparse intro.
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rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#627074 - 12/02/20 03:48 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1366
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1366
Loc: Virginia USA
"i hear devils even god ain't heard." That has got to be one of the all-time best lyric lines ever written.

Strong and emotion-filled vocal performance. The melody shines.

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#627098 - 12/02/20 05:28 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 500
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Leon1 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 500
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Hi Floyd.
Easy to see why this is a favourite. Wonderful storytelling, great melody and excellent vocal. Love the acoustic lead. Janice's harmony is the icing on the cake.
Regards,
Leon

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#627109 - 12/02/20 06:01 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1293
Loc: Maryland
TuneMonger Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1293
Loc: Maryland
Some of the best lyrics I've heard from you, and they fit so naturally into the very good melody. Loved the strings' contribution to the mood, and the singing was excellent, of course.

Listened multiple times, it was that good.
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#627125 - 12/02/20 07:56 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 787
jptjptjpt Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 787
Nice song. Lovely harmonies between you and Janice. Great lyrics. Good guitar licks during the bridge. The band was smooth too. Good work to all.
_________________________
My latest video upload is a tongue-in-cheek country song called "I Won't Be Home Tonight":

https://youtu.be/JwblUfdbsEk

My music can be heard at: http://thecracks.bandcamp.com/

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#627137 - 12/02/20 08:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 342
Gary Weder Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 342
No-one can write a blue ribbon "heart on sleeve " autobiographical song like you can Floyd. Another radio ready gem from the FJ University of Audio Excellence. I wish you would post one of those 700 discarded songs just to show some empathy to us mere mortals.
Because your productions are so flawless it is easy to overlook the fact that you are a very high quality vocalist. You are the whole nine yards.

p.s. Please tell us (me) a little about your intriguing art.
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#627143 - 12/02/20 08:43 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1026
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1026
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Floyd,

I read the write earlier in the day today and was eager to come back and hear what you did with it. The lyric is stellar, with some killer lines. Like musician17 noted, the “devils even god ain’t heard” is just brilliant.

The listen didn’t disappoint. Love the stripped feel to it—it would be easy to do to much on a lyric like this. Simple arrangement that shines. Nice job by Janice on those BG vox. Nice use of the strings—really well balanced in the mix. Super tune!

My best to you,

Deej

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#627156 - 12/02/20 10:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4257
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4257
Loc: Sydney Australia
floyd,

Lovely work, beautiful melodic and heartfelt song.
Excellent vocals and you and Janice always sound stunning together.
Nice acoustic solo and a wonderful lyric.

Really top notch.

Peter

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#627170 - 12/02/20 11:46 PM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4283
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4283
Loc: Sacramento, California
Someone mentioned the stripped-down instrumentation, but I'm always impressed with how lean your lyrics can be:

but i live in a constant rain
i hear devils even god ain't heard


Short, to the point, and original.

Loved the delivery, with some of the words almost spoken.

Nice arrangement - I liked the build. The kick drum was super-effective in the in mix.

i've actually considered showing up on sunday

Excellent. laugh
_________________________
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My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#627188 - 12/03/20 01:30 AM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1447
Loc: Germany
Crossroads Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1447
Loc: Germany
Hi Floyd,

first of all: Your lyrics are always amazing, but this one truely stands out - marvellous. Scott mentioned that line 'I hear devils even god ain't heard' - like hom I thought that this one can hardly be beaten.

A wonderful song, like always sung with such a lot of cogency. Very well-instrumented, great acoustic lead. Flawless sound, too.

Janice, even if a song is close to perfect, you can always make it shine a little more!

That's really one of the big ones, Floyd!

All the best,

Stefan


Edited by Crossroads (12/03/20 01:33 AM)

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#627232 - 12/03/20 06:16 AM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 1092
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
BabuMusic Online   content
Expert

Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 1092
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
Can I just say I love it, and you'll understand I have no words to praise your accomplishments, Floyd? Please post one of those throw-away songs so I can say, "See? He IS human." Great choice asking Janice. I love her voice. She makes you a better you. A drummer friend from NY still claims that he and I wrote like 5,000 surfer songs in the 60s. I correct him by saying we wrote one surfer song 5,000 times. Thanks for all you do here, man!!
_________________________
Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

Babu Music on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLDrsXTXfShgnGalQZ0ElQw
Me on SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub

My website: http://martystraub.com/

using Band in a Box, Reaper & Cakewalk

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#627268 - 12/03/20 08:57 AM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 5355
Loc: North Carolina
David Snyder Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 5355
Loc: North Carolina

This sounds great man. I really like the choice of tracks, and Janice is doing a super job as usual.

As always, and excellent mix dude!!

smile
_________________________
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Audiophile Everything + Studio + Instruments + Fingers
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#627269 - 12/03/20 08:58 AM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3870
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3870
Loc: Ontario, Canada
I've said it before; the blend of your voice with Janice is special, just sublime.

Wonderful song, bring back some more of these old ones please smile

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#627274 - 12/03/20 09:33 AM [User Showcase] Re: A Better Me [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10554
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10554
Loc: GA USA
Musician17 & CaptainMoto

Thanks for mentioning my harmony. It has always a pleasure singing with floyd over the years!

Janice
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