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#627055 - 12/02/20 02:16 PM [User Showcase] Tear Me
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1450
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1450
Loc: Virginia USA
Tear Me

For this song, I tried to create a persona who is in a dark place. I'm still working on the mix. Don't know if the volume on the vocal is right.

Real Tracks:
RT1814 Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking CelticAir
RT2870 Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CelticAirDave
RT2482 Bass, Acoustic, Bowed Held
RT3267 Cello, Background CelticAirFlowingNatalie

Lyrics:

Hide me from the sun
Walk along the broken limbs
Here lies everything we’ve done
Among the fallen seraphim

From this empty space
You can’t hear me
No one will ever know
How much you tear me and tear me.

Wrap me in tattered sheets
Throw me into the abyss
I only touch you when I sleep
Let me live unconsciousness

From this empty space
You can’t hear me
No one will ever know
How much you tear me and tear me.

From this empty space
You can’t hear me
You’ll do what you’ll do
You tear me. You tear me.

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#627085 - 12/02/20 04:42 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1166
Loc: Illinois
CaptainMoto Offline
Expert

Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1166
Loc: Illinois
Nice!
Evocative lyrics.
Nice mix.

Vocals sound good to me.
How did you get the backing vocals, they are just enough to add some depth when they come in.
Well done!

moto
_________________________
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#627092 - 12/02/20 05:07 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 535
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Leon1 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 535
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Hi Scott
A dark place indeed, beautifully conjured up. The vocal level sounds good to me (as does the whole song). Never heard 'tear' used as a verb before - very creative.
Regards,
Leon

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#627107 - 12/02/20 05:54 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 372
Gary Weder Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 372
Hi Ezekiel.
I always learn new words from your lyrics (seraphim). I can imagine this song in a Broadway or West End " Fiddler on the Roof" type musical.
I have mentioned this before that your voice reminds me of Edwyn Collins with a touch of Johnny Cash.
If you would indulge me one small 2¢ : The word "tear" is used with two different meanings (at least that's how I hear it). I would prefer they were both used in the same context.
I have listened to this a few times and it gets better with each listen. Lyrics , BV's , mix , a totally absorbing , compelling , atmospheric and beautiful piece of music. Well done.
_________________________
If my music sucks, good. If you tell my WHY,....even gooder.
https://soundcloud.com/garyweder

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#627115 - 12/02/20 06:30 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1367
Loc: Maryland
TuneMonger Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1367
Loc: Maryland
beautiful song, hauntingly sung. All that needs be said.
_________________________
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak

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#627126 - 12/02/20 08:01 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 845
jptjptjpt Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 845
Very cool song. You've created a dark atmosphere with the music, vocals and lyrics. Everything works well together. Nice mix too. Do I hear a second vocal on the harmony? The band hit their mark too.
_________________________
My latest video upload is a tongue-in-cheek country song called "I Won't Be Home Tonight":

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#627145 - 12/02/20 08:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1067
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1067
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Ezekiel,

You definitely created the right mood for the lyric—target hit square. I think the vocal sits just fine in the mix. I’m wondering though if it might help with a bit more reverb and/or delay, maybe to suggest his aloneness/emptiness. Just a thought.

Really like the harmonies you added on the chorus—nicely done. Enjoyed this one a lot!

Best regards,

Deej

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#627155 - 12/02/20 10:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4327
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4327
Loc: Sacramento, California
Nicely sung! A bit of a '60s vibe to it.

The sparse instrumentation works nicely.
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#627158 - 12/02/20 10:07 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4353
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4353
Loc: Sydney Australia
Very moody and atmospheric.
The vocal sounds good level wise, and an impressive performance.

I agree it could fit nicely in a stage play.

Nice work.

Peter

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#627260 - 12/03/20 08:40 AM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3931
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3931
Loc: Ontario, Canada

Vocals sound fine to me, and love those harmonies during the chorus.

Great sounding track, good choice of instrumentation. Love the dark mood!

Nicely done, enjoyed!

P.S. learned a new word, "seraphim" wink

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#627408 - 12/03/20 06:30 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5974
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5974
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
I think this is an excellent vocal Scott. Love the acoustic framing your vocal. Well done

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#627416 - 12/03/20 07:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2979
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2979
Ezekiel's Storm,
Very unusual and emotional song. Yes, sure dark, but silky smooth. Composition and arrangement A+. Strong lyrics. Excellent vocals! Actually, to my taste, one of your best. Perhaps mix has to do something with that too, as vocals are not way high, nor they are hiding deep in the mix. Enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

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#627525 - 12/04/20 07:37 AM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9498
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9498
Loc: Florida
"Wrap me in tattered sheets
Throw me into the abyss
I only touch you when I sleep
Let me live unconsciousness"

Powerful.

An excellent write.

A strong vocal. Wrapped in the perfect instrumentation. Moody and dark done well. Good BGVs.

Super.

fj

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#627557 - 12/04/20 09:27 AM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 1196
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
BabuMusic Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 1196
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
Excellent choice with the bowed bass. It fills with a dirge-like bottom. Your vocal is )(as always) outstanding, Ezekiel. This is a great write and production. The vox sits perfectly in the mix. Woudn't change a thing.
_________________________
Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

Babu Music on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLDrsXTXfShgnGalQZ0ElQw
Me on SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub

My website: http://martystraub.com/

using Band in a Box, Reaper & Cakewalk

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#627605 - 12/04/20 11:52 AM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 5558
Loc: North Carolina
David Snyder Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 5558
Loc: North Carolina

Scott,

This sounds really good man.
_________________________
David Snyder
Audiophile Everything + Studio + Instruments + Fingers
ASCAP, NSAI

www.davidsnydermusic.com
www.reverbnation.com/davidpsnyder
www.soundcloud.com/davidsnyderchannel
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#627678 - 12/04/20 03:47 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: TuneMonger]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1450
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1450
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: CaptainMoto
Nice!
Evocative lyrics.
Nice mix.

Vocals sound good to me.
How did you get the backing vocals, they are just enough to add some depth when they come in.
Well done!

moto


Hey there, Cap'n Moto: I used Meladyne for the harmony instead of the BIAB harmonizer because it creates weird "twirps (I don't know what to call them) with he harmony vocals and with Meladyne, I can write the harmony I want.

Originally Posted By: Leon1
Hi Scott
A dark place indeed, beautifully conjured up. The vocal level sounds good to me (as does the whole song). Never heard 'tear' used as a verb before - very creative.
Regards,
Leon


Leon, thanks for the comment. "Tear" can be used as a verb as in "Her eyes were tearing," but I broke a little rule by following "tear" with "me"; however, I consider that my poetic license. :-)

Originally Posted By: Gary Weder
Hi Ezekiel.
I always learn new words from your lyrics (seraphim). I can imagine this song in a Broadway or West End " Fiddler on the Roof" type musical.
I have mentioned this before that your voice reminds me of Edwyn Collins with a touch of Johnny Cash.
If you would indulge me one small 2¢ : The word "tear" is used with two different meanings (at least that's how I hear it). I would prefer they were both used in the same context.
I have listened to this a few times and it gets better with each listen. Lyrics , BV's , mix , a totally absorbing , compelling , atmospheric and beautiful piece of music. Well done.


Thanks for the feedback, Gary. I had Johnny Cash in my head when I wrote this.

Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
beautiful song, hauntingly sung. All that needs be said.


Tunemonger, thank you so much, my northern neighbor!

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#627732 - 12/04/20 05:45 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
Very darkly beautiful!! One of my faves from you!! Perfect arrangement and delivery!! Take care. Greg

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#627749 - 12/04/20 06:12 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 04/17/20
Posts: 140
Chris Dent Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 04/17/20
Posts: 140
Excellent lyrics and nicely sung.
_________________________
Chris
More of my music at: https://soundcloud.com/user-663569023

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#627998 - 12/05/20 03:47 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1450
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1450
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: jptjptjpt
Very cool song. You've created a dark atmosphere with the music, vocals and lyrics. Everything works well together. Nice mix too. Do I hear a second vocal on the harmony? The band hit their mark too.


Hey, jpt, thanks for the comments. There's just one vocal in the harmony.

Originally Posted By: Deej56
Ezekiel,

You definitely created the right mood for the lyric—target hit square. I think the vocal sits just fine in the mix. I’m wondering though if it might help with a bit more reverb and/or delay, maybe to suggest his aloneness/emptiness. Just a thought.

Really like the harmonies you added on the chorus—nicely done. Enjoyed this one a lot!

Best regards,

Deej


Thanks, Deej. I was worried that I might be putting in too much reverb. I will play around with what you suggested and see what happens.

Originally Posted By: dcuny
Nicely sung! A bit of a '60s vibe to it.

The sparse instrumentation works nicely.


David, Thanks. I guess I'm always stuck a bit in the 60s musically.

Originally Posted By: Scott C
I think this is an excellent vocal Scott. Love the acoustic framing your vocal. Well done


Scott, thanks for the comment and listen!

Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Ezekiel's Storm,
Very unusual and emotional song. Yes, sure dark, but silky smooth. Composition and arrangement A+. Strong lyrics. Excellent vocals! Actually, to my taste, one of your best. Perhaps mix has to do something with that too, as vocals are not way high, nor they are hiding deep in the mix. Enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.


Thanks, Misha. I think I am beginning to figure out some of the EQ stuff, even though I can't hear it.

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#628059 - 12/05/20 09:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: Tear Me [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3294
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3294
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
The vocal level is fine for the timbre of your voice except when the cello overlaps it...you might want to automate a little EQ subtraction of the cello in those spots.
The tag line of tear and tear falls flat on my ears as the saline drop isn't a convincing verb on its own, (and not a verb in the true sense either). It needs up, "tear up" or something with it to force the issue.
Other than that I dig it.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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