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#627055 12/02/20 11:16 AM
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Tear Me

For this song, I tried to create a persona who is in a dark place. I'm still working on the mix. Don't know if the volume on the vocal is right.

Real Tracks:
RT1814 Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking CelticAir
RT2870 Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CelticAirDave
RT2482 Bass, Acoustic, Bowed Held
RT3267 Cello, Background CelticAirFlowingNatalie

Lyrics:

Hide me from the sun
Walk along the broken limbs
Here lies everything we’ve done
Among the fallen seraphim

From this empty space
You can’t hear me
No one will ever know
How much you tear me and tear me.

Wrap me in tattered sheets
Throw me into the abyss
I only touch you when I sleep
Let me live unconsciousness

From this empty space
You can’t hear me
No one will ever know
How much you tear me and tear me.

From this empty space
You can’t hear me
You’ll do what you’ll do
You tear me. You tear me.

Ezekiel's Storm #627085 12/02/20 01:42 PM
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Nice!
Evocative lyrics.
Nice mix.

Vocals sound good to me.
How did you get the backing vocals, they are just enough to add some depth when they come in.
Well done!

moto

Ezekiel's Storm #627092 12/02/20 02:07 PM
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Hi Scott
A dark place indeed, beautifully conjured up. The vocal level sounds good to me (as does the whole song). Never heard 'tear' used as a verb before - very creative.
Regards,
Leon

Ezekiel's Storm #627107 12/02/20 02:54 PM
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Hi Ezekiel.
I always learn new words from your lyrics (seraphim). I can imagine this song in a Broadway or West End " Fiddler on the Roof" type musical.
I have mentioned this before that your voice reminds me of Edwyn Collins with a touch of Johnny Cash.
If you would indulge me one small 2¢ : The word "tear" is used with two different meanings (at least that's how I hear it). I would prefer they were both used in the same context.
I have listened to this a few times and it gets better with each listen. Lyrics , BV's , mix , a totally absorbing , compelling , atmospheric and beautiful piece of music. Well done.

Ezekiel's Storm #627115 12/02/20 03:30 PM
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beautiful song, hauntingly sung. All that needs be said.


Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
Ezekiel's Storm #627126 12/02/20 05:01 PM
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Very cool song. You've created a dark atmosphere with the music, vocals and lyrics. Everything works well together. Nice mix too. Do I hear a second vocal on the harmony? The band hit their mark too.


My music can be heard at: The Cracks
Ezekiel's Storm #627145 12/02/20 05:44 PM
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Ezekiel,

You definitely created the right mood for the lyric—target hit square. I think the vocal sits just fine in the mix. I’m wondering though if it might help with a bit more reverb and/or delay, maybe to suggest his aloneness/emptiness. Just a thought.

Really like the harmonies you added on the chorus—nicely done. Enjoyed this one a lot!

Best regards,

Deej

Ezekiel's Storm #627155 12/02/20 07:00 PM
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Nicely sung! A bit of a '60s vibe to it.

The sparse instrumentation works nicely.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
Ezekiel's Storm #627158 12/02/20 07:07 PM
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Very moody and atmospheric.
The vocal sounds good level wise, and an impressive performance.

I agree it could fit nicely in a stage play.

Nice work.

Peter

Ezekiel's Storm #627260 12/03/20 05:40 AM
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Vocals sound fine to me, and love those harmonies during the chorus.

Great sounding track, good choice of instrumentation. Love the dark mood!

Nicely done, enjoyed!

P.S. learned a new word, "seraphim" wink

Ezekiel's Storm #627408 12/03/20 03:30 PM
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I think this is an excellent vocal Scott. Love the acoustic framing your vocal. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
Ezekiel's Storm #627416 12/03/20 04:00 PM
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Ezekiel's Storm,
Very unusual and emotional song. Yes, sure dark, but silky smooth. Composition and arrangement A+. Strong lyrics. Excellent vocals! Actually, to my taste, one of your best. Perhaps mix has to do something with that too, as vocals are not way high, nor they are hiding deep in the mix. Enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Ezekiel's Storm #627525 12/04/20 04:37 AM
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"Wrap me in tattered sheets
Throw me into the abyss
I only touch you when I sleep
Let me live unconsciousness"

Powerful.

An excellent write.

A strong vocal. Wrapped in the perfect instrumentation. Moody and dark done well. Good BGVs.

Super.

fj

Ezekiel's Storm #627557 12/04/20 06:27 AM
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Excellent choice with the bowed bass. It fills with a dirge-like bottom. Your vocal is )(as always) outstanding, Ezekiel. This is a great write and production. The vox sits perfectly in the mix. Woudn't change a thing.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
and https://soundcloud.com/babumusic-5080285
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Ezekiel's Storm #627605 12/04/20 08:52 AM
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Scott,

This sounds really good man.

TuneMonger #627678 12/04/20 12:47 PM
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Originally Posted By: CaptainMoto
Nice!
Evocative lyrics.
Nice mix.

Vocals sound good to me.
How did you get the backing vocals, they are just enough to add some depth when they come in.
Well done!

moto


Hey there, Cap'n Moto: I used Meladyne for the harmony instead of the BIAB harmonizer because it creates weird "twirps (I don't know what to call them) with he harmony vocals and with Meladyne, I can write the harmony I want.

Originally Posted By: Leon1
Hi Scott
A dark place indeed, beautifully conjured up. The vocal level sounds good to me (as does the whole song). Never heard 'tear' used as a verb before - very creative.
Regards,
Leon


Leon, thanks for the comment. "Tear" can be used as a verb as in "Her eyes were tearing," but I broke a little rule by following "tear" with "me"; however, I consider that my poetic license. :-)

Originally Posted By: Gary Weder
Hi Ezekiel.
I always learn new words from your lyrics (seraphim). I can imagine this song in a Broadway or West End " Fiddler on the Roof" type musical.
I have mentioned this before that your voice reminds me of Edwyn Collins with a touch of Johnny Cash.
If you would indulge me one small 2¢ : The word "tear" is used with two different meanings (at least that's how I hear it). I would prefer they were both used in the same context.
I have listened to this a few times and it gets better with each listen. Lyrics , BV's , mix , a totally absorbing , compelling , atmospheric and beautiful piece of music. Well done.


Thanks for the feedback, Gary. I had Johnny Cash in my head when I wrote this.

Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
beautiful song, hauntingly sung. All that needs be said.


Tunemonger, thank you so much, my northern neighbor!

Ezekiel's Storm #627732 12/04/20 02:45 PM
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Very darkly beautiful!! One of my faves from you!! Perfect arrangement and delivery!! Take care. Greg

Ezekiel's Storm #627749 12/04/20 03:12 PM
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Excellent lyrics and nicely sung.


Chris
More of my music at: https://soundcloud.com/user-663569023
Rustyspoon# #627998 12/05/20 12:47 PM
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Originally Posted By: jptjptjpt
Very cool song. You've created a dark atmosphere with the music, vocals and lyrics. Everything works well together. Nice mix too. Do I hear a second vocal on the harmony? The band hit their mark too.


Hey, jpt, thanks for the comments. There's just one vocal in the harmony.

Originally Posted By: Deej56
Ezekiel,

You definitely created the right mood for the lyric—target hit square. I think the vocal sits just fine in the mix. I’m wondering though if it might help with a bit more reverb and/or delay, maybe to suggest his aloneness/emptiness. Just a thought.

Really like the harmonies you added on the chorus—nicely done. Enjoyed this one a lot!

Best regards,

Deej


Thanks, Deej. I was worried that I might be putting in too much reverb. I will play around with what you suggested and see what happens.

Originally Posted By: dcuny
Nicely sung! A bit of a '60s vibe to it.

The sparse instrumentation works nicely.


David, Thanks. I guess I'm always stuck a bit in the 60s musically.

Originally Posted By: Scott C
I think this is an excellent vocal Scott. Love the acoustic framing your vocal. Well done


Scott, thanks for the comment and listen!

Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Ezekiel's Storm,
Very unusual and emotional song. Yes, sure dark, but silky smooth. Composition and arrangement A+. Strong lyrics. Excellent vocals! Actually, to my taste, one of your best. Perhaps mix has to do something with that too, as vocals are not way high, nor they are hiding deep in the mix. Enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.


Thanks, Misha. I think I am beginning to figure out some of the EQ stuff, even though I can't hear it.

Ezekiel's Storm #628059 12/05/20 06:44 PM
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The vocal level is fine for the timbre of your voice except when the cello overlaps it...you might want to automate a little EQ subtraction of the cello in those spots.
The tag line of tear and tear falls flat on my ears as the saline drop isn't a convincing verb on its own, (and not a verb in the true sense either). It needs up, "tear up" or something with it to force the issue.
Other than that I dig it.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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