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Hi, all: Here’s another collaboration with Carroll Kiphen, who wrote the lyrics (tolerating a few changes here and there by yours truly)—a little pop/rock number that I think I’ve taken about as far as I can without additional feedback. So, as always, your comments and suggestions are welcome and very much appreciated. I hope you enjoy the tune. My very best to each of you, Deej Here’s the song:RUNAWAY HEART Here are the lyrics:Got my past packed in a hefty bag In the backseat of my car Got my headlights on the road ahead My eyes fixed on the stars And I don’t know where I’m going I’m just sick of where I was No sure way of knowing if I’ll find someone to love I’m a runaway, runaway, runaway heart Got my mind set on a happy life With a girl I don’t yet know Left my troubles in the driveway With the last one I let go She asked me where I’m going I just answered with a shrug The restlessness is growing Gotta find someone to love No more fights or empty nights I left them on the drive A tank of gas, a roll of cash The endless road to ride No, I don’t know where I’m going But I finally feel alive And here’s the band:RealTracks 1417: Bass, Electric, RootsRock RealTracks 3181: Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm AcRockDriving8thsQuinn RealTracks 676: Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming FolkRockBritEighths RealTracks 637: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm RootsRockDirty RealTracks 1835: Guitar, Electric, Soloist PopModernGrooveGritty RealTracks 1542: Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopBelieve Ev16 065 RealDrums: RockHardLA^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Loose HiHat
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"Got my past packed in a hefty bag In the backseat of my car"
Wow, great start to this Wonderful adventure. Love all those lyrics. I like the responding harmonies. Very catchy and very well crafted. Amd a smashing presentation, Deej & Carroll.
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Deej, love this! Very cool Tom Petty vibe...
Bob
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Deej,
I enjoyed the folk-rock drive of this and especially the pop touches you brought to the chorus with those well timed bgv`s.The "runaway heart" refrain is as memorable as a 60`s hit. My favourite part, though is the bridge,and the way you sing there- even that bit of psychedelic processing on "road" I thought was cool. Another excellent collaboration with Carroll!
Robert
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Cool imagery and a fab chorus. I'm not keen on the last third of the solo...it seems to lose steam or focus. Otherwise you've assembled a cool band.
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Marty, Bob, Robert and rayc:
Thanks for the listen, kind comments and feedback. Really appreciate you giving it a spin and so happy it seems to work.
Bob: Tom Petty was who I had in mind as I started putting music to Carroll’s original lyric—glad it came through some.
Robert: Carroll would agree—he said the bridge is his favorite part as well. From a production standpoint, I really wanted to change things a bit musically, and that’s what I was shooting for with the more prominent piano in that section.
rayc: You called out my least favorite part of the song—that back end of the solo. I think I’ve been trying to convince myself it works and while serviceable, it’s not ideal. I went back in, generated some multi-riffs, and replaced the back third of the solo. Still not exactly what I would like, but I think better. Thanks for the comment and giving me some needed motivation!
My best to you all,
Deej
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Hi, Deej. Strong start, excellent write. Well sung. The "screams" work nicely. Love the harmony on the chorus - catchy and fun to listen to hear! The last part of the solo is still... off. Have you considered chopping those bars out of the song? There's no rule that a solo has to be a particular length. Or lie to it about the chords and see if you get something better. I like this song a lot - catchy with a 60's throwback sound. ![laugh laugh](/forums/images/graemlins/default/laugh.gif)
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Catchy song with very well-written lyrics. I very much enjoyed listening, so thanks a lot for sharing!
Will
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David:
You're right. I took your advice to shorten it a bit, cutting out when the vocal starts up again. And I lengthened the last note by cutting and pasting, but I'm thinking it can still go a tad longer. The biggest obstacle is that transition right around 2:31--the original went high with a somewhat pitchy note, this one goes low. Beyond as you suggest, plugging in some alternate chords and seeing if I get lucky, not sure what else to do. Hopefully the change helps. I've reposted the new version.
Thanks much for the listen and feedback!
My best to you,
Deej
Post-Note Update: Actually, it still wasn't right. I went back to the original version, but stayed with going shorter, and then tried to soften the one high note at 2:31. Boy, what a process--but I think it's where I can at least live with it.
Last edited by Deej56; 04/03/21 07:27 PM.
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Will,
Thanks for the listen and kind support. Appreciate you taking this one for a ride!
Kindest regards,
Deej
Last edited by Deej56; 04/03/21 07:27 PM.
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Deej & Carroll, Nice acoustic rolling rocker. Solid set of lyrics and strong vocal performance. Excellent drive. Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
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Misha,
Thanks so much--appreciate the listen!
All my best to you,
Deej
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Hi Deej. Good one. I think maybe you could cut that space starting at 1:52 as there's nothing interesting happening there. Either that or put some accents or riff in it.
Also (with my road safety hat on) "Got my headlights on the road ahead My eyes fixed on the stars", could be, "My headlights on the road ahead My head in the stars", or similar.
Vic
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Deej,
Like David,I heard a 60's throwback thing...you always do that well.. Cool band and excellent vocals as always...
The last line of the verse melody threw me each time, but the rest was very catchy...
Good mix.
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Very cool intro. Awesome vocal and lyric. Loved the backtrack. Well done
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Hi Deej56
Very pleasant composition. The chord sequence is well chosen, the lyrics well written and the choirs excellent. I appreciated. Well done
Kindly regard Derochette alias JaniJackFlash
Kindly regards Derochette alias JaniJackFlash
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Hi Deej. I have yet to hear a presentation of yours that disappoints! Everything I've heard from you is 10 stars! ► I love this production from beginning to end. While the chorus is simple from a lyric perspective, it is incredibly effective and its arrangement and production are outstanding. ► The groove immediately grabbed my attention. Loved it! ► Your singing is amazing. Whenever I hear you perform, I sit here thinking about how I wish I had your ability. All in all... ![](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/ftpl6t99wrrdgnm/excellent%20thumbs%20up%20small.png) I thoroughly enjoyed the ride! Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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That is an absolutely killer chorus...pure gold. I would have bought this 45 in the late 70s. Keep working on fixing the solo. Great song!
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I absolutely picked up a tom petty vibe. I really like the verses..... So colorful.
The chorus is simple and very effective.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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'Deej56' & Ms. Kiphen...
Production-wise, this is an ear-filling song, high on musical energy that matches the urgency of the lyrics as they describe the burning need for a love connection. Mr. Deej56, your singing voice easily projects the power of feelings that seem to grow in intensity as your car accelerates towards a date with romantic destiny. Ms. Kiphen, your lyrics invite the listener to sing along as they put the 'pedal-to-the-metal' down on the steadily escalating and irresistibly needful desire to find that elusive lover. I like the (call and response?) form of the vocal harmony, too. Certainly, this is one for the road...and a radio wouldn't hurt, either!
Last edited by bluage; 04/05/21 07:42 PM.
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
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