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#649699 04/01/21 02:51 PM
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Hi, all:

Here’s another collaboration with Carroll Kiphen, who wrote the lyrics (tolerating a few changes here and there by yours truly)—a little pop/rock number that I think I’ve taken about as far as I can without additional feedback. So, as always, your comments and suggestions are welcome and very much appreciated. I hope you enjoy the tune.

My very best to each of you,

Deej

Here’s the song:

RUNAWAY HEART

Here are the lyrics:

Got my past packed in a hefty bag
In the backseat of my car
Got my headlights on the road ahead
My eyes fixed on the stars
And I don’t know where I’m going
I’m just sick of where I was
No sure way of knowing
if I’ll find someone to love

I’m a runaway, runaway, runaway heart

Got my mind set on a happy life
With a girl I don’t yet know
Left my troubles in the driveway
With the last one I let go
She asked me where I’m going
I just answered with a shrug
The restlessness is growing
Gotta find someone to love

No more fights or empty nights
I left them on the drive
A tank of gas, a roll of cash
The endless road to ride

No, I don’t know where I’m going
But I finally feel alive

And here’s the band:

RealTracks 1417: Bass, Electric, RootsRock
RealTracks 3181: Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm AcRockDriving8thsQuinn
RealTracks 676: Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming FolkRockBritEighths
RealTracks 637: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm RootsRockDirty
RealTracks 1835: Guitar, Electric, Soloist PopModernGrooveGritty
RealTracks 1542: Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopBelieve Ev16 065
RealDrums: RockHardLA^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Loose HiHat

Deej56 #649734 04/02/21 01:05 AM
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"Got my past packed in a hefty bag
In the backseat of my car"

Wow, great start to this Wonderful adventure. Love all those lyrics. I like the responding harmonies. Very catchy and very well crafted. Amd a smashing presentation, Deej & Carroll.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
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Deej56 #649736 04/02/21 01:11 AM
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Deej, love this! Very cool Tom Petty vibe...

Bob

Deej56 #649810 04/02/21 10:52 AM
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Deej,

I enjoyed the folk-rock drive of this and especially the pop touches you brought to the chorus with those well timed bgv`s.The "runaway heart" refrain is as memorable as a 60`s hit.
My favourite part, though is the bridge,and the way you sing there- even that bit of psychedelic processing on "road" I thought was cool.
Another excellent collaboration with Carroll!

Robert

Deej56 #649828 04/02/21 12:34 PM
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Cool imagery and a fab chorus.
I'm not keen on the last third of the solo...it seems to lose steam or focus.
Otherwise you've assembled a cool band.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Deej56 #649976 04/03/21 01:04 PM
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Marty, Bob, Robert and rayc:

Thanks for the listen, kind comments and feedback. Really appreciate you giving it a spin and so happy it seems to work.

Bob: Tom Petty was who I had in mind as I started putting music to Carroll’s original lyric—glad it came through some.

Robert: Carroll would agree—he said the bridge is his favorite part as well. From a production standpoint, I really wanted to change things a bit musically, and that’s what I was shooting for with the more prominent piano in that section.

rayc: You called out my least favorite part of the song—that back end of the solo. I think I’ve been trying to convince myself it works and while serviceable, it’s not ideal. I went back in, generated some multi-riffs, and replaced the back third of the solo. Still not exactly what I would like, but I think better. Thanks for the comment and giving me some needed motivation!

My best to you all,

Deej

Deej56 #649984 04/03/21 01:45 PM
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Hi, Deej.

Strong start, excellent write. Well sung. The "screams" work nicely.

Love the harmony on the chorus - catchy and fun to listen to hear!

The last part of the solo is still... off. Have you considered chopping those bars out of the song? There's no rule that a solo has to be a particular length. Or lie to it about the chords and see if you get something better.

I like this song a lot - catchy with a 60's throwback sound. laugh


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
Deej56 #649986 04/03/21 01:56 PM
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Catchy song with very well-written lyrics. I very much enjoyed listening, so thanks a lot for sharing!

Will

dcuny #649988 04/03/21 02:28 PM
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David:

You're right. I took your advice to shorten it a bit, cutting out when the vocal starts up again. And I lengthened the last note by cutting and pasting, but I'm thinking it can still go a tad longer. The biggest obstacle is that transition right around 2:31--the original went high with a somewhat pitchy note, this one goes low. Beyond as you suggest, plugging in some alternate chords and seeing if I get lucky, not sure what else to do. Hopefully the change helps. I've reposted the new version.

Thanks much for the listen and feedback!

My best to you,

Deej

Post-Note Update: Actually, it still wasn't right. I went back to the original version, but stayed with going shorter, and then tried to soften the one high note at 2:31. Boy, what a process--but I think it's where I can at least live with it.

Last edited by Deej56; 04/03/21 06:27 PM.
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Will,

Thanks for the listen and kind support. Appreciate you taking this one for a ride!

Kindest regards,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 04/03/21 06:27 PM.
Deej56 #649992 04/03/21 02:43 PM
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Deej & Carroll,
Nice acoustic rolling rocker. Solid set of lyrics and strong vocal performance. Excellent drive. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Deej56 #650010 04/03/21 06:28 PM
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Misha,

Thanks so much--appreciate the listen!

All my best to you,

Deej

Deej56 #650029 04/04/21 12:05 AM
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Hi Deej.
Good one.
I think maybe you could cut that space starting at 1:52 as there's nothing interesting happening there.
Either that or put some accents or riff in it.

Also (with my road safety hat on) "Got my headlights on the road ahead
My eyes fixed on the stars", could be, "My headlights on the road ahead
My head in the stars", or similar.

Vic

Deej56 #650060 04/04/21 05:23 AM
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Deej,

Like David,I heard a 60's throwback thing...you always do that well..
Cool band and excellent vocals as always...

The last line of the verse melody threw me each time, but the rest was very catchy...

Good mix.

Deej56 #650073 04/04/21 06:37 AM
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Very cool intro. Awesome vocal and lyric. Loved the backtrack. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
Deej56 #650081 04/04/21 09:13 AM
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Hi Deej56

Very pleasant composition. The chord sequence is well chosen, the lyrics well written and the choirs excellent. I appreciated. Well done

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash


Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
Deej56 #650083 04/04/21 09:29 AM
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Hi Deej.

I have yet to hear a presentation of yours that disappoints! Everything I've heard from you is 10 stars!

► I love this production from beginning to end. While the chorus is simple from a lyric perspective, it is incredibly effective and its arrangement and production are outstanding.

► The groove immediately grabbed my attention. Loved it!

► Your singing is amazing. Whenever I hear you perform, I sit here thinking about how I wish I had your ability.

All in all...



I thoroughly enjoyed the ride!
Noel


MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2024
Deej56 #650204 04/05/21 11:56 AM
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That is an absolutely killer chorus...pure gold. I would have bought this 45 in the late 70s. Keep working on fixing the solo. Great song!

Deej56 #650208 04/05/21 12:48 PM
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I absolutely picked up a tom petty vibe. I really like the verses..... So colorful.

The chorus is simple and very effective.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.

You can make excuses or you can make progress but you can't do both.
Deej56 #650249 04/05/21 06:41 PM
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'Deej56' & Ms. Kiphen...

Production-wise, this is an ear-filling song, high on musical energy that matches the urgency of the lyrics as they describe the burning need for a love connection. Mr. Deej56, your singing voice easily projects the power of feelings that seem to grow in intensity as your car accelerates towards a date with romantic destiny. Ms. Kiphen, your lyrics invite the listener to sing along as they put the 'pedal-to-the-metal' down on the steadily escalating and irresistibly needful desire to find that elusive lover. I like the (call and response?) form of the vocal harmony, too. Certainly, this is one for the road...and a radio wouldn't hurt, either!

Last edited by bluage; 04/05/21 06:42 PM.

"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
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